


Consider the Lilies

by sabrina



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Definitely NOT pining (totally pining), Gardener Hux, Jedi Knight Ben, Light Side AU, M/M, Not-First Order Armitage, Snark & Sass, Star Wars: Bloodline-compliant, gardener au, mostly anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-08-19 12:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 51,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8207026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabrina/pseuds/sabrina
Summary: It was never Hux's goal to become the Republic's utmost authority on rare Alderaanian plants, but then again he had precious little control over that life thus far. It was never Hux's goal to become obsessed with a Jedi that won't stop visiting his garden to meditate and 'enjoy the view', but it's possible his control over that is marginal also.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out to be a tiny little 1000 word ficlet idea off of a 'romantic gardener AU' prompt that I stumbled across. And then it just became... this other thing with some light side AU-ness that's 10,000 words and growing. I'm not even sorry.
> 
> (I'm vaguely sorry because I wasn't writing any additional _LONG_ things while I was still writing _Millions of Miles_ , but my plot bunnies don't cooperate they just jump all over the place and I'm in this dumpster for reals so here we are and I'm not really sorry.)
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://jedihafren.tumblr.com) if you want to join me in the garbage can.

Armitage Hux ignored the heat of the sun and instead bent over the ground on Hosnian Prime, the smell of the early morning rain filled his nostrils as he lifted slender green leaves of the extraordinarily rare Alderaanian Kassus lilies and began the careful process of ensuring the roots were covered. Despite the fact that Alderaan, the planet and the source of these lilies, had died over two decades ago, the plant lived on here, and he knew in other gardens throughout the galaxy. Much of the gardening work the droids managed, and Hux wouldn't complain about that _at all_ , but there were certain plants that seemed to know the difference between human care and artificial care, and who flourished under the former and withered under the latter. 

It was this fact that had ended him in the garden, so to speak, even if the garden he was caring for had changed over time. Somehow fate had plucked him to become an expert in the subject, and he'd begrudgingly rose to the occasion. 

In truth he hadn't had a lot of choice in the matter. 

He'd grown up the son of a single mother, a woman whose spirit hadn't quite been broken by the war she'd pulled her toddler son through largely unscathed, but who was still at times bitter and disconnected. She'd taken jobs to work her way back towards the core until they'd made it as far as Hosnian Prime. 

Hux had been thirteen when she'd taken a job at at the home of a well-off centrist senator who wanted the standing of having beautiful gardens without paying for the task of it. He'd been fourteen when the senator had told her in no uncertain terms that she was going to have to let her go, because she was going to get a staff who could work in the gardens and do the cooking. 

This was the point that Hux had been pushed into gardening by his mother, although he had little to no interest in the task. He enjoyed classes and science even though his training had been haphazard at best. And there had been yelling and anger when he'd realized what the full practice of gardening would entail - no droids to help him at least at first - but in the end he'd had no choice. He could take on the gardening on the estate, or they would be kicked out to find another place to work, and both of them knew that this had been the best place they had been in the past decade. The fact that his mother had once worked for an Imperial General had given her an edge in the woman's mind, perhaps even a preference, which meant a plush living cottage on the property, but it was not enough to keep them here when they could no longer give the senator what she wanted.

Skills had been learned as he went. He attended classes in the afternoon, having to give up his favorite mechanical engineering class in the morning, while in the mornings he worked in the gardens, and after it got dark he would frantically work to finish his homework, and make his way through massive tomes on how to care for plants that he didn't know or recognize. The only class he made top marks in that year was the biology class that he was taking - largely because they had been focused on plant life. 

Hux put away his dreams of mechanics for the ease in worry lines on his mother's face. Perhaps his life would have been different if she hadn't taken him away from his father all those years ago, then again - his father had been a leader for a defeated government. Perhaps not. 

In the end, he'd come to enjoy the specificity of it. It wasn't unlike the mechanical work he enjoyed in some ways, but it had a factor of unpredictability, a need for emotional involvement that was different. Plants were living beings even if they weren't sentient, and where you planted them, how the soil was fed, when they were watered, how they were tended for -- these things worked together and Hux had nearly lost some of the more rare plants before he'd realized that. 

Maybe he'd had no choice in being pulled into gardening, but he'd had a choice in what he did with it, and ultimately he'd chosen to focus in on it, learning everything that he could from written works and holos on the subject, and the rest from doing. And when he'd left the Senator's home for a far better salary with more recognition of his skills, it had been after some bartering between the two employers and there'd been a thrill of pleasure in the power of his skills being worth something. 

It did have some benefits, this work, even if he sometimes dreamed of being someone that mattered in the galaxy. Someone that would do something impressive, something amazing, something that was more than anything a bastard son of a former Imperial might accomplish. 

Most people didn't know that latter. When pressed, Hux told people his father had died in the war. In a manner of speaking it was true enough. They didn't need to know that his mother had not been married to the man, or that she had fled Arkanis in a refugee ship shortly thereafter, with a toddler Hux in tow, stealing him away despite some danger to herself in having done so. His father had wanted him - bastard or no - and Hux could never quite decide if he was glad of it, or if he hated it. 

Maybe both.

Definitely both. 

The sun was warm, and the work was precise, and so he gave himself to it completely. Allowing himself the luxury of it being just himself and the plants. The preciseness of it was what had kept him going long after his mother had changed jobs and his work in the gardens had no longer been required for them to continue being fed. Mostly everything he knew he had learned on his own between looking up problems on the holonet, reading books, and asking the more experienced gardeners during those times when they'd found themselves on large estates. All of that had led to this job in the Alderaanian Memorial gardens on Hosnian Prime and he did have a name for himself -- and that was something. 

Hux pulled back from the lilies, sat on his heels and removed a glove to reach up and brush ginger hair back off his forehead without leaving a trail of dirt on said forehead. It was as he made this motion that he became aware of the fact that he was being watched, and he turned around to discover a man sitting in a nearby bench, his eyes upon Hux, and a smirk on his lips. 

"What are you doing there?" Hux demanded, and then immediately regretted the demand even as he didn't want to back down from it. The man was obviously a visitor to the gardens, and probably in a position of some standing based on the way he carried himself, but there was no turning back now. Instead he dug in, narrowing his gaze. "There are other places to sit." 

"Just enjoying the view," the man drawled lazily, his eyes held Hux's gaze for a moment too long before he waved a hand at the expanse of the horizon. 

From the way he spoke it was impossible to tell if he was referring to the gardens, or if he had in fact been watching Hux, and from the position where he was sitting more than likely Hux's arse the entire time he had been working with the lilies. Heat rushed up Hux's neck, to the tips of his ears, and he cursed his pale skin. 

"I cannot imagine there was anything special about it from here," Hux said, gathering up his tools and pushing himself to his feet. 

"On the contrary," the man tilted his head. "This is my favorite place to sit and if anything I believe you've improved the view." 

He stood, a fluid movement that felt more graceful than any Hux could conjure in a lifetime, and he crossed to stand in front of Hux. At close proximity he stood a few inches taller than Hux, with shoulders twice as broad underneath what appeared to be a simple brown tunic. His face was unusual, but not unhandsome, if anything it demanded a second glance, and Hux swallowed nervously. 

"I didn't assume otherwise," he pushed back haughtily, even as years of life as a servant's son told him that he ought to defer. 

"You're new," the man stated. "I've not seen you here before." 

This much was true. 

So not only was he a visitor, but he was a regular visitor. Hux cursed his bad luck and inability to simply bow and know his place. He'd never been good at it, and it had caused his mother grief more than once. 

"Yes, I started work last week. I'm an expert in Alderaanian plants." 

This garnered an eyebrow raised - dark and curious, and he nodded. "You're awfully young for that." 

"What does that mean?" Hux asked, bewildered. He couldn't be much younger than the man in front of him - if he was younger at all. 

"It means that you couldn't have possibly ever known plants on Alderaan. How did you become an expert." 

"How does anybody become an expert?" Hux frowned, his words more curt than they should be. "I studied them." 

"No offense meant. My mother was Alderaanian," the man offered. "I just thought perhaps you had a connection there as well." 

"No. I wasn't born on Alderaan." 

"Your parents?" 

"No, not that it's any of your business, but no." 

"Again, no offense, intended. I'm Solo," he shrugged lightly. "Ben Solo. You'll likely see me around. I like to come down here to meditate."

"Meditate?" Hux stared at him. 

"Yeah, meditate." Solo flashed him a half-grin and leaned in close enough that when he spoke Hux could feel his breath on his neck. "I'm a Jedi Knight," Solo half-whispered, and then he stepped back, winked, and walked away, leaving Hux cursing everything.


	2. Chapter 2

His intention had been to thoroughly forget the young man in the earth covered robes who had apparently watched him the entire time he was working with the lilies, but it was something that was easier said than done. If he was a regular to meditate, then there was a good chance that he would see him again and when midway through the next day he realized that he had visited the lilies three times more than was required for the work he was doing he chided himself and returned to the offices. The day after that he thought he saw Solo and nearly walked the other direction when he realized that it wasn't Solo at all, but someone not nearly as attractive and likely shorter as well. 

The mistakes and obsession was embarrassing. But he kept seeing the arrogant smirk not so very far from his face. The memory of it was certainly not bringing a hot flush to his cheeks, and almost certainly was not in his mind as he stood in the shower after work, hand sliding lower to take his dick firmly in hand. The wink had invaded his memories and taken up residence. Hux put his other hand on the shower wall as the hot water washed away the sweat and grime of the day, while his other hand stroked himself hard. He pulled his breath in, the memory of the low voice 'you've improved the view', and with a shudder and a soft moan Hux came, and the shower washed that away too. Hux leaned his forehead against the shower and told himself firmly to get a grip. 

Solo had said that he came the gardens to meditate, but he had said nothing about it being daily. It might be weekly, or even monthly for all Hux knew. He'd made no promise to see Hux again, nor any indication that he would look for him again. If they ran into each other it would be pure chance and showers notwithstanding, Hux should leave it at that. 

But as the week warmed up hotter than was typical for Hosnian Prime, Hux was wishing rather ardently for distractions by the middle of it. Since none presented themselves, he whiled away hours pruning ivy while considering Ben Solo, telling himself that he would get back to avoiding the thought when the temperatures cooled back to normal. 

The name had meant nothing to him at first, a fact that was embarrassing when he realized that Ben Solo was the son of Leia Organa, the Princess of Alderaan, and the grandson of Darth Vader, he was _that_ Ben Solo and shouldn't Hux have recognized that fact without looking it up on the Holonet? Hux knew well enough the story of the Death Star and he knew from friends of friends of friends that Darth Vader had been aboard the Death Star when Alderaan had been destroyed. He wondered if Leia Organa knew that? 

Leia Organa had fallen out of favor in recent years, and away from the politics she had been so much a part of a decade ago. Hux could remember well when the news that Darth Vader was her father had broken. It had been every centrists wet dream. He'd been old enough to know that it meant the end of Organa as any influence in the Senate and considering that when Hux voted, he voted Centrist, it was inevitable that he'd been pleased by the resulting decrease of influence she held in the public sphere.

Now he had a slightly different angle. The man had been about his age, maybe a little younger. Hux wondered if he'd known when the news broke, or if it had been as much a shock to him as it had been the rest of the galaxy. But surely he'd known. No parent would keep something like that from their child. Still, Darth Vader had been a Force user, and he was still feared by some. The Force beliefs of Vader and the Emperor had probably weakened the Empire - something different, bolder, less dependent upon religion and mythology at its center would have lasted. It was general consensus among Centrists, most of whom, while they might have liked the idea of the strong leadership of an Empire, did not care for the specifics of Emperor Palpatine. Hux couldn't help but agree. The chaos didn't frequently strike them on Hosnian Prime, but all it took was watching the holonet news to see what happened in less settled systems. 

There had been progress in the months following the news about Organa when the Centrists had gained popularity in whiplash, but it hadn't been enough in Hux's estimation. There were moments when he'd thought about applying himself to the study of politics, but it was usually pushed away as a ridiculous dream. He didn't have the education, and he didn't have the means or advantage of connection that was required to make a run for senate, and when it came to ghosts in the closet, Hux had his own in the shape of his father. It might not matter for most of the Centrists, but he didn't trust that it wouldn't come out, and he didn't have the taste for dealing with that sort of backlash.

Sweat beaded up on his brow and he sat back on his heels and looked up at the sun. It was hot in the height of the afternoon. Really the only thing this line of thought was serving to do was remind him how little he had in common with the Jedi Ben Solo and how absurd this obsessive line of thinking was. It was time to put these mental meanderings behind him and to move to find shade to do the rest of the work of the afternoon. He began the work to gather up the pruning shears to move back towards the greenhouses where at least some shade would be offered and the fans would be running. 

The path to the greenhouses curled about the hillside and was brilliantly shaded. It had been planted to resemble Alderaan's native forests, before Hux's arrival in the gardens, and not all of the trees were native to Alderaan. This was something Hux sought to improve. It irked him that the forest, if intended to resemble Alderaan's native mountain forests, could not be thoroughly those plants that would have been native to the Alderaanian countryside. Hux had begun the arduous task of determining if there were other examples of these trees elsewhere in the galaxy whether they be in private botanical gardens or individual collections. 

This was precisely as vast a task as it sounded. The galaxy was wide and while many former Alderaanians had settled in one place, they were frequently not those that held what Hux wanted. Seeds, stems, plants, and full grown trees were held by those who had cared enough before Alderaan's demise, to deal with the exporting process to move them to local regions. Under the Republic this might have been easier, but under the Empire it had been extraordinarily complicated - unless you were wealthy. 

Finding these sources was another piece of work that could not be done by droids. Yes, they might be able to scour databases for possible collectors, but when one was dealing with private collections, the work of determining whether or not they would share a seed or a cut from the tree was frequently complicated. Some of the collectors held pride in being the only holder of a particular plant that was otherwise extinct, and they had to be impressed upon the value of sharing. 

Hux was particularly good at impressing that fact upon people and it was one of those things 

"It's another sign you'd be a good politician," he muttered to himself as he turned the corner of the path to step down the stone stairs carved into the hill.

He was at the bottom step when he realized that he was coming upon someone who was sitting in the quiet. He stepped down and went to move past when he realized who it was at the same time as Ben Solo brought eyes up to his, and a flash of recognition settled in a quick movement. 

"Gardener Hux," Ben drawled, easily, but without the lightness of the earlier meeting. 

"Jedi Solo," Hux returned, and then stopped as it occurred to him that he had no memory of having revealed his name to the man. "How did you know my name?" 

"I asked," Ben shrugged. "There aren't that many humans that work in these gardens, and you are the only with that shade of hair." 

Ben was right, frustratingly, and Hux frowned slightly, sternly chasing the heat out of his cheeks at the mention of his appearance. "You said you mediated in the other location - by the lilies."

"It is, but it's also more in the open, and it's hot today." 

"So you wanted shade?"

"Wouldn't you?" 

It _was_ a reasonable notion on an afternoon as hot as this one, and there was no reason for the awkward uncertainty that was creeping up. The memory of his showers was not helping him back away from the awkwardness either. Perhaps there was nothing but to go through it. 

He stared keenly at Ben. Closer than he had been the other day it was clear that Solo was sturdily built. His hair was longish with dark curls that framed his face, but it was the expressive eyes that kept pulling Hux back in to stare at him. And it might have been those eyes watching him so keenly themselves that prompted him to open his mouth, even as he'd held no intention of outing that he'd looked up anything about the man. 

"You're Organa's son." Maybe it was public enough information that it wouldn't seem as if he'd gone out of his way. "You said your mother was Alderaanian," he offered as way of explanation. 

"Are you related to Brendol Hux?" 

This question took Hux off guard. It was rare that anyone connected him to the Empire unless he connected it for them. But how did Ben know about Hux's father? He hadn't been heard from in decades. Hux hadn't seen himself since he was three. "Does it matter?"

"No," Ben said softly, and he stood up. "I was just curious." 

Hux was uncertain what Ben could possibly want from this conversation. He'd just been thinking about politics, and how it was the sort of thing that could harm him if people knew, but his mouth opened despite himself, with uncharacteristic frankness. "He was my father, but I have no idea if he is dead or alive at this point."

"You haven't seen him?" 

"Not since the Empire fell," Hux said evenly, although his heart was racing at the audacity of the revelation and Hux wondered if Ben would walk away having heard that the gardener he'd cornered twice for a conversation was the son of an Imperial. 

Ben fell silent for a moment, his lips moving as if he had something additional to ask or say, but when he didn't say anything at all Hux realized that now it was him making this awkward by not simply moving on. He straightened his shoulders. "It was good to see you again," he said curtly. "I should let you return to your meditat-"

"Do you ever have dreams?" 

He should get away, he had revealed too much of himself, and staying would only be a mistake, but the thoughts came crashing in on themselves with the intensity of Ben's question. Ben's eyes were on his as if by staring at him he could pull out any truth Hux might care to hide. For all he knew that was a possibility and Jedi could do precisely that. "Everyone has dreams," he ventured, uncertain where Ben was going with his question. "I think it would be more odd to not have them."

"No, I mean, dreams where you feel as if they're trying to tell you something." 

"I'm not a Jedi," Hux retorted. 

"No," Ben shook his head, his voice edgy and posture tense. "It can be a Jedi thing, but I don't think that's what these are." 

Hux felt frustration tense in his shoulders as he realized that Ben wasn't going to explain. This was almost more irritating to him than the fact that Ben had asked the question in the first place. What had made him suddenly the go to person for Solo's questions about the universe? Was this typical behavior for Jedi? Hux had nothing to compare it with, and the fact that he was sitting here holding this conversation with himself, and not just turning around and walking away was somewhat astonishing in and of itself. 

Yet, Ben's posture drew an urge from Hux to reach over and touch the massive shoulder. The man looked as if he needed comforting - a conclusion that felt ridiculous, and yet… 

"Sometimes I have dreams," Hux offered, honestly astonishing him for the second time in a ten minute conversation. "My father is alive and he has found me. He's yelling at me because I prune back bushes for a world destroyed rather than seeking to destroy a world for the Empire." His tongue darted out to moisten his lips as he paused. "It's absurd," he spoke scathingly at his subconscious. "I haven't known him since I was a boy, I barely remember him, and I wouldn't care what he thinks of my life. That he wouldn't approve is almost certain. It's childish fear, is all and it's worth nothing." 

"I don't think so," Ben's gaze had turned to him again and there was a warmth in his gaze that had been lacking a few moments before. Sympathy, maybe. Or no… something deeper than that. Ben _understood_ , a concept Hux couldn't quite grasp. "Wanting your father's approval and understanding for what you do isn't absurd." 

Hux offered a small smile that was really more him pressing his lips together tightly than true joy. There was nothing reasonable about the dreams, and they meant nothing about what he wanted or needed in his life. He had never shared them with anyone, which made it all the more bizarre that standing here in a forest of trees whose planet's death his father would have likely celebrated, he was telling a near stranger about his father's identity or the dreams that continued to wrap into his subconscious when he slept. He half suspected Ben had drug it out of him with the Force. 

"That's not what we do."

The protest, seemingly from nowhere took Hux off guard: "What?" 

"Dragging things, it's not like that." 

The realization arrived at the same time as the blood rushing to his cheeks. "You're reading my thoughts." 

"It's not your thoughts," Ben said seriously, taking a step forward. "They're more impressions, and it was less me reading them than over-hearing them -- you were projecting."

"I was _projecting_?" Hux stared at him astonished that there was even an attempt to explain or make okay the fact that Ben had been trying to read his thoughts. 

"Yes, you can't blame me for overhearing you if you're yelling," Ben looked defensive. "You're actually very loud for being so quiet." 

"I am not loud," Hux hissed, trying to not think about the fact that he'd spent the past week ruminating over the meeting before, particularly the way Ben's hair fell down around his cheeks, or the ass that had walked away from him. He raised an index finger and pointed it in Ben's direction. "You need to stay out of my head." 

"You need to whisper." 

"You need to learn to be invited to the conversation," Hux hissed, turning on his heel. "Enjoy your meditation." 

This time it was him walking away from Ben, but he didn't care. It was bad enough that Solo insisted on being in his garden, or seemed to be able to pull awkward things from his past out in conversation, or that he had just _willingly_ shared two pieces of himself he never shared with anyone with a man who could easily use the information against him, or that - and he tried to think it quietly - Ben's ass was beautiful and Hux hadn't quite been able to put it out of his mind. All those things were bad, but having his mind read, or skimmed, or overheard, or whatever - he had _no_ interest in Jedi nonsense. None at all. And he would not be drawn into a conversation again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got the next part mostly written but I don't know how much time this week I will have to edit so it may be next weekend before I update. In the meantime, enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

The weekend was rainy, which meant that there was no point in going to the gardens. Little enough important work could be done in the rain and the droids would wander around doing the essential tasks that did not require the precision of human touch. It left Hux with the quandary of what to do with himself because he was not a fan of idleness. 

Despite the lack of consistent work activity, rain brought comfort and it always had. Hux told himself it was because the gardens needed rain to grow properly and that it had little to do with any feeling of warmth or home, but at the same time he could remember his mother's quarters at the house on Arkanis. He could remember his father visiting, the low whispers and talking, and he would be expected to keep himself entertained. He would make his way out to the covered porch and curl up on the porch swing and play with the ships he had memorized for the wisp of praise from his father. The rain would fall on the roof turning the grass around him the most emerald shade of green, and the time would come when it would stop and his Father would disappear with a stern word regarding Hux's worth. 

Rainy days brought the emotion of it back with the oddity of having his two parents in one place and the attention he would receive from his father however lacking in real love, and when the rain stopped then reality stepped back in. 

It always had. 

For the moment, Hux was sitting on the small balcony in his Hosnian apartment watching the rain stream down the sides of the building across from his while the cool breeze to steal the steam from his mug of caf and his cat, Millicent, crouched staring out between the bars of the balcony. Three hanging plants hung from the top of the balcony creating a curtain of green between him and everyone else. It was almost enough for the illusion of privacy in the complex although there was no such thing in this sort of building. 

After he and his mother had moved from Arkanis they had stayed briefly on a planet where it rained very little. From one extreme to the other and they hadn't stayed in that place very long. Looking back on it Hux suspected that had been wise on their parts. The chances that they might have been sold into slavery there would have been high particularly in those days of upheaval following the fall of the Empire and the utter lack of rule of law such fall had inspired. When they had first moved to the Hosnian system Hux had been young enough to imagine that his father might come to find him. 

A reoccurring dream had brought his father in on a Star Destroyer and he had personally come to retrieve Hux at great personal danger to himself. He had taken Hux away, trained him in blasters, and the type of skills that would be needed to become a great man himself. His father had wanted him and he had found him. It was a reoccurring dream and a foolish one. 

Hux had longed for a father. A true, genuine father who cared for him and wanted to teach him important things, and the boy he had been had invented one. The Hux that had come after him was a man of integrity and honor, a man who had taken him under his wing to teach him the important pieces of spaceships, engineering, and the Imperial navy. Hux had been at his Academy in those dreams and at the top of his class and his father had always been proud of him. 

They had been the foolish imaginings of a lonely child. There was nothing to suggest that his father had ever been that man. Not from his own memories and not from his mother's terse words about the man when she spoke of him at all. The galaxy had been coming apart at the seams and just barely holding its gravitational pull; the elder Hux had not wanted him enough to seek him out in it.

Rain brought the memories back, though, and today it had returned the memory of the dreams as well. Perhaps because Ben Solo had brought up dreams and these had been the ones that Hux had been haunted by. These had come long after he had been out of his father's presence, and he'd never had any control of them. There were nights they still haunted him waking him in a cold-sweat with the shame of disappointment lingering like bad aftertaste in the room. Hux stepped forward and reached up to prune a dark leaf off of one of the hanging plants. He stared across at the apartments across from him and wondered uncharacteristically about the inhabitants. Who were they? Were they at work, or did they too find the rain inopportune to finishing the tasks assigned to them? 

He sighed. There was no sense in diving too deeply into that sarlacc pit. Hux turned and walked back into his own small flat crossing the distance between the balcony to the kitchen in a few steps. Millicent stared after him and then followed. Dinner would be a soup reconstituted from a mix. Hux's cooking skills were enough to allow him to survive on more than protein bars and pre-made food stuffs, but just barely. He sat his cup on the counter. 

"HNN," he spoke to the holo viewer in the living space. He could easily watch the popular news channel from the small kitchen island where he would do his work. It little more than a distraction, but sometimes it allowed Hux to believe for a moment or two that knowing what was happening in the galaxy was part of his job, crucial in some way to performing it well. That was a lie, of course, the only thing necessary for him to do his job well would be found in datafiles of gardening and holofiles from former Alderaanian gardeners of old. The HNN was discussing reports of smuggling activity in the outer-rim, the senators and the Republic were - naturally - lacking in any cohesive strategy for how to fix it. A prominent Centrist senator began to speak on the issue and Hux shook his head in some exasperation as he reached for a pot to begin to heat the broth. 

The broth heated, and he opened the packet to dump it into the heated broth on the burner. He turned this down, glanced up at the viewer, and froze. In the time the broth had taken to heat the program had shifted from news into what looked almost like gossip programming, and the man's face on the screen was horrifically familiar. 

"Volume, up," he managed at the viewer, startling Millicent from the counter with both the volume and tone of the command. "UP!" He demanded when it did not react quickly enough for his taste. 

"-Solo, son of former senator Leia Organa, was seen this week with Tenel Ka Chume Ta' Djo of the Hapes Consortium at a society event on Hosnian Prime," the woman announcer was saying. 

"I didn't know the Hapes Consortium even came out to play at these events," the male announcer said dryly. 

"Have you seen Ben Solo?" the woman laughed. "I'd attend a society event to get to spend time with him too." 

"But with that family history would you want it? They say he's a Jedi Knight, but what do the Jedi do except seek power. I don't think that's a match I'd look into," the man offered his unasked for opinion as they returned to the view of Ben Solo with a red haired woman beside him.

"Freeze," Hux barked, and he stepped around the island and into the living space. 

It was certainly Ben Solo. At a society event his clothing wasn't so much different from what Hux had seen him wearing at the gardens. The outer tunic may have been different, and the trousers slightly darker, but mostly he looked the same: tall, confident, a cocky smile, and that aggravatingly perfect hair. His hand was on the back of the woman beside him - the Hapan woman. 

She was shorter than him by several inches, but she matched his confidence in equal measure. She was wearing a dark green gown with a leather corset that looked as if it might have been from animal hide. She had hair nearly the color of Hux's, but perhaps slightly darker, more auburn, and she looked as if she could probably best him in a fight. 

Hux stared at the two, and as it occurred to him that he was doing so he cursed. "What the kriff," he muttered at himself. He was listening to society news now? He was actually paying attention to it? Ben Solo wasn't someone that he cared about, his only interest was, well, having met him, it was interesting to see him out. Of course someone like him was clearly schmoozing among royalty. His mother had been a former Alderaanian Princess after all. He was growing increasingly agitated with himself. The fact that they were together at this event didn't mean that they were together. And the fact that she held hair the color of fire on her hair, meant nothing as an indicator of how Solo felt about gingers. 

"Off," he barked again at the holoviewer and then he turned back to get his tea before stalking out to the balcony once more to wait for the timer for the stew to go off. The days inside without being able to escape were clearly getting to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Hux most certainly did not think about Ben Solo the next day when it finally stopped raining and he could make his way back into the gardens. The temperature had warmed slightly, but not so much that the humidity was uncomfortable. If anything it was the opposite. Much cooler and the humidity would have likely crept cold into his bones and made him shiver. Much warmer and he would have been sweating and uncomfortable, but for the moment, it was simply a reminder of how life worked. The cycles of seasons and climate and the necessary aspect of rain in the soil for the growth of the plants themselves. Everything seemed a little more green, a bit more alive, refreshed and rejuvenated and so it was an honest delight to spend his morning looking through the logs the droids had left about any problems or incongruities that had been encountered in their work during the days Hux had been stuck inside. 

He would need to review the south slope it seemed like, and he noted a need to intentionally review the entire drainage system on that slope. This was the third rain that he'd had problems there, and this one it seemed as if it may have been worse because of the length of time of the rain and the ground saturation. This was a project that Hux was looking forward to. It would require calculations and be the opportunity to utilize some of the mostly dormant engineering skills. 

He requested the schematics for that part of the gardens from main control, before he returned to the other things that would need to be immediately settled. The Serrusi Grove near the entrance needed pruning because the water had weighed down all of the fruit, creating bent and broken, or near broken, branches. That was a task the droids could do and Hux programmed it. 

He was most of the way through his morning caf by the time he had assigned the droids the tasks they would need to do, and settled which tasks he would need to take care of himself. He finished off the last of the now lukewarm drink, and put on large rubber boots and reached for gloves which he stuffed in his jumpsuit pockets. 

It might have gotten hotter but the sky was overcast although it was nearly noon, and the temperature was still cool even if the air held the weight of humidity. Hux walked through the grove of Serrusi trees watching the droids use long arms to move through the trees programmed to look for branches at odd angles and the water laden fruit that was pulling the branches down. Hux took a moment to be glad that he wasn't selling the Serrusi fruit for profit. The rain would have destroyed all of it. And while they had in the past sold it to specialists for a pretty credit, they were not Serrusi fruit farmers. It wasn't important to the garden's survival for the fruit to have a good crop. 

He reached up to pluck one from the branches, dusting it off on his pants he considered it - soft, larger than it really should be. Usually Hux took a basket of the fruit home with them when they cut them, but there was nothing useful to be done here. You might be able to juice them yet, but the juice would lack the flavor punch one would normally expect. It was a waste, but there was nothing to be done about it, so he tossed it underhand back towards a droid. It landed prone at the droid's feet, and one of the hands swooped down to pick it up and put it in the compost. 

Satisfied that the Serrusi grove was being handled Hux made his way back into the garden, and through the pathways, down towards the lily beds where he had been working when he first met Ben Solo. His jaw tightened at the thought of the man and the half desire of seeing him again. Which he was more frustrated by, he couldn't say. He really shouldn't be wanting to see him, because it seemed unlikely that he would have any better encounter than the last one. He was a Jedi. That was a huge problem in and of itself. He was nosy with too much power for his own good, and the casual encounters Hux had shared with him were just that - casual encounters. But he couldn't erase the memory of the look that Ben had given him as they'd shared a brief moment in the garden. 

For a second he had been interested, unless Hux's memory was playing the encounter all wrong. For a moment he had believed they'd been about to connect over an idea. He'd seen curiosity and genuine understanding in Solo's eyes. Unless he'd gotten it all wrong, and maybe he had. He shouldn't be thinking about whether or not it was salvageable if they sat down and had a genuine conversation. The man was a Jedi, and there would be no trusting that. What he really longed for wasn't a conversation, but rather being pushed up against a wall. He should not lie to himself about what his real interest was. And even assuming that Solo shared that interest, it would be with no particular end in mind outside of a mutually beneficial evening. If Solo was interested in any romantic entanglement it would be with a Princess, not a gardener. 

That was really the only thing to be said, and all of his considering the brief memories of an event several days ago, would not change that fact. Nor would it change the fact that there was work to be done, and it was not insignificant after the multiple days inside. Satisfied to put Ben Solo to the back of his mind, to be brought out later perhaps during his shower, Hux walked down the gravel path towards the lilies, pulled his gloves out, and stopped short at the sight of broad shoulders sitting on the bench. 

Hux bit back a curse, because of course he would be here. Probably thinking about him at all had drawn him here, creating some sort of mystical Force beacon that said 'by all means, whatever you're doing, it is not as important as coming to the gardens to disrupt the work of a gardener paid not nearly enough to put up with this shit.'

Before Hux could turn, Ben had done so. It felt preternatural how he had known Hux was there, but probably it had only been the sound of Hux's footprints on the path. Hux straightened his shoulders as Solo stood up and took a step forward. Gone was the confidence and cocky edge of the man that Hux had first met here, and in its place was something else. 

"I was hoping I'd see you." 

'Well, I wasn't,' felt inappropriate to say on many levels, but Hux really wanted to turn around and walk back the direction that he'd come. Still, Ben's eyes were on him and they were a dark chocolate brown, and he was close enough that Hux could make out warm amber flecks within them and in that moment he cursed the realization that whatever he thought he'd seen the other day, it was here again - a heart-wrenching sort of vulnerability that tugged at Hux's as if to say 'give me a chance'. 

Why he didn't do so, then, was a question he would spend his entire night berating himself with. But he looked away from those eyes, towards the lilies, and when he looked back it was with a frustrated set to his jaw. 

"Were you hoping to overhear another yelling session?" Hux raised his eyebrows, tone cool. Just because he couldn't find the will to lift his feet didn't mean that he needed to be welcoming. 

Ben flinched, "No."

Ben's thick eyebrows furrowed together and he looked at the ground, seeming to remember as he did so that the point wasn't to look at the ground, but was to look at Hux and his eyes darted back up, but couldn't seem to hold Hux's gaze. It was almost disarming. 

Ben stepped forward. "I came to apologize for that. It was unintentional what I did, but I should have controlled better." 

Hux blinked at this. His entire dismissal of everything related to Solo had been built on the theory that Solo felt as if he was beneath him, but here he was apologizing and it seemed to be a genuine apology. He seemed nervous, almost, as if he was afraid he was going to mess it up. Hux had very little social experience, but in that moment he almost wondered if Ben had even less in his own way. Had he been so awkward with the Hapan queen? It didn't seem so, he'd seemed confident, but then again, Hux had been jealous. The realisation that he was having all these thoughts where Solo could over hear them, made him pause. 

He looked up, about to speak as Ben spoke again, seemingly anxious with the silence. 

"It wasn't my intention to offend," he offered. "At the very least I ought not to have said anything about it." 

Where Hux had been about ready to ask him a question or two, and perhaps consider forgiving him, this last addition made fury rise again. 

"Not _said_ anything about it?" Hux raised eyebrows and looked up at the Jedi. "You're kidding right? It's all right if you read my mind so long as you don't say anything about it? This is completely mad. Where did you learn those ethics? The Darth Vader Jedi School?"

Ben's look came up, and his eyes darkened dangerously as he stared at Hux. "Darth Vader wasn't a Jedi, and you don't know anything about the Force, or what I can do, or what I can't, or who I am. I am apologizing to you, a _gardener_ , and you could have the decency to take an apology offered." 

And there it was, the dismissal that he had been expecting was behind all of this. Just a gardener, of course, and why would a Jedi who could dance with Hapan royalty have any interest in anything that Hux did. No matter that the flash of anger in Ben's eyes seemed to be draping the vulnerability that had not yet disappeared to cover it for the show. No matter because Hux had been correct, and he no longer cared about whether or not Ben continued to come around. He was one patron of the garden, he could find another garden to patronise with his presence. 

"I'm sorry, when you're a bastard son who has had to work for everything in his life rather than getting it handed to him on a silver platter, nobody teaches you how to 'take an apology offered'," Hux snapped back. "All I want to do is my work without you lurking about every corner of this garden." 

"You don't own the garden just because you work here."

"Well you don't own the galaxy because your mother brought down an empire and destroyed my life!" Hux could feel his heart racing. 

The last part was possibly untrue. 

He felt it could be true. 

A muscle in Ben's cheek twitched. "I'm not my mother and I'm not my grandfather." 

The air felt charged in a way that had nothing to do with the barometric pressure from the prior day's storms. Ben stood in front of him staring him down and Hux wasn't certain if he was going to stare him down, waiting for the other man to flinch, or if he would flinch first and go past him to actually begin his work for the day. Why if the man considered him so beneath him, had he apologised, shown-up, given Hux a look as if he might care about what Hux thought of him, or who he was? And why did Hux even care that he had shown up, apologized, and done so like an ingracious idiot?

The answer to that was that he didn't care. No, really, he didn't care. He had work to do. 

He stepped around Ben and moved towards the lilies while he snapped his work gloves onto his hands. He could feel Ben still lurking there but he refused to turn around, refused to think anything specific enough that Ben might be able to pick it up. He refused to let Solo know that for a moment, he'd wondered if he hadn't dreamed the possibility of friendship and maybe something more. He refused to let Solo know how it felt like he had swallowed stones too heavy, sinking deep into his abdomen and staying there. He had never done this before to himself, why was he doing it now? Some sort of unwieldy expectation of what could not even technically be qualified as a relationship.

"I'm not required to fit anyone's expectations of me," Ben's words followed him, seemingly unwilling to end the conversation just because Hux had walked away. "I thought after our conversation last week that maybe you would understand that." 

Hux froze with one hand on a set of weeds. The words rung against Hux in a defense that felt all too familiar. He understood far more than he wanted to admit and particularly after whatever this had just been. If Solo truly considered him so far underneath, why would he make it worse by admitting to anything more than he already had? And yet Hux knew the weight of expectations. He didn't want to consider the reason he told so few people about his family history was not wanting to deal with the expectations to defend himself from the shadow of a father he had not seen in decades. It was so much simpler to be Hux, the son of a single mother whose father had died in the war. These were expectations that he could manage. It gave him no position, but it was no position to defend, only a position to rise from, which was the expectation he put on himself, and perhaps only he put on himself. The idea of not being required to fit it was unheard of. 

Ben was all too right that Hux was still requiring himself to fit into expectations, even if they were only those he rested upon himself, but they weren't, because by fitting into the ones he'd created for himself, he was hiding from the ones that everyone else would request from him. He breathed in and out for a moment. Solo was rude, but perhaps he had been as well. He closed his eyes, swallowed, pulled the weeds and turned around. 

Ben was already gone behind a neighboring n'gal'gar bush.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was spent angry and ignoring. If by ignoring you really meant replaying the conversation constantly throughout the day with Hux telling Ben Solo in multiple ways where he could get off.

Hux had come to the conclusion that not only had the apology been extremely self-centered and inauthentic, but that Solo had proven nearly every negative quality that Hux had attributed to him, without even knowing him. Arrogant, yes. Entitled, absolutely - Hux had met children of centrist Senators with less belief the galaxy owed them anything than Ben Solo had displayed in their less than thirty minutes together. There was the Force thing, which was worrying enough on its own, and he had meant to run from it, and instead he had been pulled in by soft hair, a firm ass, and something in those stupid brown eyes. 

Probably it was Solo doing something in the Force to him. It was a logical explanation, really, because it wasn't remotely like Hux to pine after anyone, certainly not someone he didn't know at all but and clearly had no respect for him. If they had met in the bar, with the mutual attraction, likely Hux would have gone home with him, they would have had a mutually enjoyable evening, and that would have been the end of it - as it should have been. 

He wouldn't have needed to stick around to discover that Solo was an arrogant asshole who considered himself better than the rest of the galaxy, but then again, wasn't that what people said about Organa? Someone who thought herself quite important for someone whose father was hardly admired by anyone - even those who wished to see a more centralized form of government return to the Republic. It was good riddance. The apology hadn't been genuine. It had been for show, a necessity for someone who was a Jedi. If the entire family would disappear off the galactic charts it would do the galaxy some good. 

Mostly him not showing up in the garden was just good riddance. 

The day after that was spent justifying the entire thing further.

Hux had, after all, shown Solo up. Regardless of the dozen or so scenarios he'd come up with yesterday where he had _actually_ told Solo off, in reality ignoring him had been for the best. A man like that clearly fed off attention, and him saying nothing had told Solo precisely what he thought of his 'apology' and where he could shove it. If the man bothered him again, Hux would send a droid to escort him from the gardens. It was a private garden, after all, and Solo had no right to be there whatever he might act like. 

(This line of thought was followed by wondering if banning the son of one of the most famous Alderaanians from the Alderaanian Memorial Gardens wouldn't get him a bit of publicity. Publicity of any sort could work for in his favor if he could spin it right. Solo was a Jedi and the Jedi were not exactly well liked, there were a lot of people who considered them a threat to the stability of the galaxy, so if Hux played it right, he could capitalize on public opinion and reinforce fears. It would be the opportunity to speak publicly about some of the work he did, creating sympathy for the gardens and bringing more people in to visit. More people, meant more money, and it would turn Solo's blatant disregard of his position into something that could not be ignored. He did have power, and respect, and prestige within this community, and unlike Solo it had been earned entirely by his own brains, his own hands, and his own talents - nothing that had been granted to him from anyone.) 

When he went home at the end of the second day having not seen Solo at all, he was almost disappointed, so vivid were his imaginings of bringing the famed Solo Jedi to his knees while the entire galaxy recognized Hux's achievements. He would be admired as someone who had brought the lost beauty of a planet back to the galaxy, while Solo's power would be questioned and his control doubted. Let him take _those_ expectations and chew on them for a while. 

That night as he ate some warmed over soup while Millicent purred at his feet, he tried not to give any time to the sinking realization that he had now spent two days obsessing over this, the greater part of this afternoon on a very vivid dream of how he could tear Solo apart. He could justify his actions, and plot what would come next if Solo showed up again, but Hux was too self-aware to not realize the obsessing meant that he was angrier, more hurt, and more invested in the possibility of seeing Solo again than he should be. 

The man was dangerous and that was all Hux _should_ see from him. He disregarded rules, and disregarded Hux's personal space. He was a Jedi which meant he had powers that Hux had no comprehension of including the ability to draw thoughts from Hux's mind, and possibly to influence him - although Hux suspected he would have a difficult time doing that with him. He was too determined to give in to the persistent thoughts of a Jedi (probably?). If it had stayed a flirtation then it would have been an amusement, but Hux had made the mistake of allowing things to trend somewhat personal and on only a second meeting and that was where the trouble started. 

It was where it always started. 

There had been a boy when he was fifteen, and he'd believed, foolishly, that it might amount to something. He'd said more than he'd meant to one night behind a rose bush with too much liquor loosing his tongue, and he'd called the entire thing off the next day. Afraid that it would cost his mother her position, or himself his. Afraid that it might give the boy the mistaken impression that he owned part of Hux. It had been a long summer, filled with glances and arguing that Hux didn't much care to remember. 

It was why he pertinaciously kept his history to himself and always had. He didn't mention his father: didn't mention his mother: didn't mention his youth, or how he had begun gardening - a personal interest in the subject was all he ever gave. And certainly he didn't talk about his dreams or share anything resembling the longing for having had something solid in his youth. Somehow in a mere two meetings Solo had pulled those out of him. 

The Force? 

It wasn't impossible, but Hux returned to the fact that he believed himself too mullish in his disinterest in providing any personal information to anyone to be impacted by such. Plus, Hux tried to be honest with himself. He might not give much to others, but he tried to be honest to himself. He could blame it on the Force or Solo, but he had wanted to give it. Something about the conversation in the garden had felt _real_ like the dirt between his fingers, and he had been seduced by it too easily. 

"It won't happen again," he said aloud. 

Millicent looked up at him and after a moment she lifted a paw to begin licking it. 

"It doesn't matter does it?" He asked her, knowing that she wouldn't answer, and knowing that it was a poor substitute for any real conversation, but who could he talk to? There was no one. His mother was alive, but he had never spoken of his personal life with her, and she blessedly did not ask. He tried not to think that this was because she knew there was no point. "It was a foolish mistake, and it will not happen again." 

The remainder of the week played out with no sight of Solo which was mostly a reminder to Hux that he needed to stop looking for him. He wasn't, except he was; and this made him angry. He had spent an entire life learning how not to get involved in places he ought not. He had learned early on how to admire the aristocracy and political elite from a distance, but to not get distracted from his own path. His entire life it would have been inconvenience to have a crush, particularly on someone who could ruin him. This was absolutely no different.  
The next week began and there was still no sight of Solo. 

Perhaps the man had finally been embarrassed off the grounds. He ought to be, Hux couldn't help but think as he walked through the greenhouses examining seedlings and sprouts for when they would be transplanted to the outside. He had treated Hux as if he was nobody because he was a gardener, and it spoke badly of character, really. Certainly Hux might not have a title, or a crown, or rule of a planet, or any of those things, but these gardens were his domain. When he had arrived there had been half the plants as there were now and none of the lilies. Those had been his first success, a negotiation with the Centrist Senator that he had been working with previously, and the first time he'd felt the taste of success winning what he wanted against someone more powerful than him. It had been his first taste, but it was not to be his last. 

Stumbling into the work had been a matter of circumstance and determination to do something well, but it had not been simple. He had worked in positions under exacting employers from the time he was twelve. And he had succeeded by doing what he did with precision and determination to get it right. He would wager he knew as much about getting rare Alderaanian breeds to grow as did any other person - Alderaanian or not. It might not feel prestigious to many people, but it _was_ specialized knowledge. He had presented on the topic to others who held degrees and institutionally recognized knowledge despite the fact that he had neither, and he was the primary gardener at one of the premiere locations of Alderaanian plants in the galaxy. There were very few people in the galaxy who could do his job as well as he could do it, and just because it had no particular destiny attached to it - no family connection - no particular _power_ to it, did not mean it was less than Solo's Jedi mind tricks or that he was unimportant. 

And it seemed that if the Jedi were living by the 'code' they claimed to live by, rather than by arrogance and self-aggrandizing behavior displayed by the man, that the growth of these lilies ought to be as valuable an activity as leading a republic. It was further proof that the Jedi were hypocrites, and Solo the worst of them.

And the lilies needed to be checked on. 

Hux left the greenhouses and moved to the Kassus lilies. He was nearly there when he realized that he was holding his breath uncomfortably. He forced himself to breathe as he rounded the corner and his eyes darted to the bench where Solo had been sitting when he first met him which was currently empty.

His anxiety deflated. Had he wanted a confrontation? But why? Was it just that there had been things he wished he had said? Perhaps called Ben out on what a Jedi was? A replay in what had happened would not change the substance of it. Calling Ben out was unlikely to change his mind. 

He put his examination to the flowers, paying special attention to the blooms themselves. It was about time to cut them back - a process that happened three times throughout the summer. Next week early, maybe. 

That night over a instant cooked flatbread with a fruit sauce and cheese topping that hardly looked as appetising as it had on the package, Hux stared into the holonet news, feeling deeply broody. Anger had finally washed him out, not unlike the south slope had done under the rain, and the emotional result felt similarly in need of shoring up. He finished the final piece of bread, put the plate to the side and absently reached his hand out to pet Millicent as the weight of the truth settled deep in his bones. 

"I wanted him to meet my expectations." 

The words sank in the room, around and over the voice of the news program projecting. But maybe it was what he needed to admit to himself to _stop_ thinking about Solo on a daily basis. 

He'd spent his entire life being overlooked by everyone. And no matter how specialized his knowledge, and how appreciated it might be in some sectors, the truth was that most people who visited the garden overlooked him unless it was to ask him directions. It didn't matter that he was the head gardener. Whatever prestige he might tell himself that he had - they didn't care. And then Ben had come along and talked to him, not once, but twice, and asked him questions, and Hux had wanted to answer them. He had wanted to be given a reason to continue to answer them. 

Maybe it was time to admit to himself that he was lonely, and as satisfying as his work might be, it couldn't provide him with conversation when he came home anymore than Millicent, as beloved as she was, might be able to do. 

For a moment Hux had believed a romantic lie, and it was terribly unlike himself to do so. But for a moment, he'd believed that Ben Solo was extending that companionship and that all he had to do was reach over and take it. 

"Ridiculous," he muttered to himself. It was weak, but perhaps it was only understandable considering how long it had been since he had found companionship of any sort -- even mere physical companionship -- anywhere. 

Hux reached for the cup of tea and finished off most of the nearly cold liquid in it, ready to call it a night, when a familiar voice stopped him.

"Thanks for having me." 

He twisted his neck around to find a popular female news anchor sitting in a comfortable chair with Ben Solo sitting across from her. His hair was swept back, looking formal and awkward in comparison to the way it fell around his face in the gardens, but the awkward smile was entirely too familiar.

"Off," Hux spoke to the holo projector as the anchor began to say something. The holoprojector seemed to ignore him. "Kriff, turn it off. Off now." Hux commanded. 

He had finally begun to put Solo to rest, the entire romantic notion about Ben Solo had been unwound and determined false, and the last thing he needed was an interview, or really any additional reason to continue obsessing. This would be the moment when the voice sensor would opt out of working properly.

"There's a lot of myth and legends about the Jedi," the anchor said calmly. "You're perhaps one of the most famous ones, and you have a bit of history with your family as well, can you - in your own words describe what being a Jedi is?" 

"Uh, yeah, all right. Well, there's a code, which we try to follow. It's kind of philosophical, so I don't know that it'd be of much interest to the viewers, but basically, we serve the Force, and the Force is life, so we serve, well, life in the galaxy, more or less."

Hux rolled his eyes at this description, continuing to mutter curses, as his arm dug down in-between the cushion and the arm hoping to find the manual control for the projector. 

"There's a lot of people who serve the galaxy; how do you specifically do so?" 

"Millicent, have you seen the controls?" Hux snapped at the cat, hoping to mostly drown out Ben's answer and his voice. Millicent just blinked at him, and Hux couldn't keep from hearing the last part of Ben's answer anyway. 

"-it's not a perfect thing. We don't have some sort of miraculous knowledge of how to do that better than anyone else. Sometimes we kind of *beep* it up, can I say that on here?"

"You just did," the woman laughed. "We'll let the editing room determine whether it gets aired." 

"All right," Ben shifted, a lopsided grin hitting his cheeks. 

"For kriff's sake," Hux muttered, staring around the room and trying to look at any place except the projector. "Off," he tried again, once again to failure. Had the voice detector just gone out completely? There had been that one time last week that he'd had to use the manual controls to turn the thing on, but he hadn't had any other difficulties.

"Can you give me an example of that?" 

"Which part?" 

"Well, you make it sound so human, and a lot of people I think get the idea that Jedi are magicians, or somehow above your average being throughout the galaxy. Hearing that you make mistakes probably would -"

"Oh, I can tell you about his mistakes," Hux glowered at the holo, a list of things he could give to the news anchor filling his mind. And that was on mere minutes of interaction.

"Um," Ben shifted, obviously uncomfortable, and for an instant he seemed to be trying to figure out what to say. It was that same uncertainty that had pulled Hux in, made him believe for a minute that maybe Ben Solo was someone that could live up to his expectations. It had been a lie, but it was a disarming one and had made Ben look far more sympathetic than he really was. 

"I can't talk for all Jedi, that wouldn't be right, but me, personally, um, I uh, I have a really hard time with people." 

"Doesn't that make serving the galaxy difficult?" 

"Heh, I guess, but it's not - I mean, I can help people regularly, but I always mess things up when it's like, an interpersonal relationship -" 

"A lover?" 

Solo blushed and he shrugged. "Nothing like that, just I thought I'd try to make something right with um, someone, and I just messed it up more." 

Hux realized he was staring at the projector with his jaw slightly open. Surely Ben had not been talking about him. The disarming thing was calculated, and couldn't actually be a real thing… 

"So do you have someone special?" 

"No, uh, No. Maybe someday."' 

"I -" Hux stood up, looking hopelessly around the room for the manual remote even as Ben continued this time, blessedly, answering a question about the Jedi and their relationship with the Republic. "Off," he tried again, half-heartedly. Really he just wanted the holo of Ben to disappear. 

Millicent looked up at him with golden eyes, and then she yawned and got to her feet. She stretched out, the entire length of her pushed from one end to the next, and then she sat for a moment, and then gracefully off of the sofa. 

The manual remote was underneath her. 

Hux stared at it. There was no sense in thinking she'd been purposefully hiding it. Obviously she couldn't have been, but at the moment he didn't care. He reached for it and snapped off the holo in the middle of Ben laughing at something the anchor had said. 

"Millicent, no fresh meat for you tomorrow." 

The thing was, she didn't look remotely repentant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it ended up being a bit more than a week for this update. Halloween took over last weekend with it's costumes and crazy so I didn't have much writing time! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has been commenting and I hope you continue to enjoy this little romp through this AU as much as I'm enjoying writing it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a month later, here we are. I think this is a bit longer, so hopefully it will make up for it! I'm hoping I won't be quite so long on the next one, but with the holidays, who knows. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Hux is sitting on a large flat stone in the middle of hedges. It's a place he's seen before a dozen times in holos, which is probably why it looks so familiar. He's in the royal gardens of Alderaan, which were maintained by the Organa family directly before the planet's destruction. They're one of the most photographed gardens from the planet, and he's studied them dozens of times. 

In his dream he rebuilds them perfectly down to the exact shape of the maze and the smooth flatness of the stone, which has been manually polished, but done in such a way to resemble the large river polished stones of the northern continents. Around him the spires of the castle shoot up into the distance and he is struck by an inexplicable urge to go exploring. He would attempt to recreate this in a smaller form in his own gardens, but he has been unable to track down any remaining seed of the hedges to grow from. So far as he can tell the hedges are as extinct as the planet they were native to and it has always felt too presumptuous to try to rebuild the gardens with another hedge. Insulting to the memories of those who still remember Alderaan, fewer as they are with each passing year. 

It's a perfect day, probably autumn, if he is guessing correctly. Alderaan's seasons varied throughout the planet, but where the Organa's lived there were seasons - the castle was near the mountains after all. For a moment he sits in the silence of the place, and then he unfolds his legs and stands. Of course if he's dreaming, he would create the perfect day. It seems odd somehow to be so aware that this is a dream, but it is and he's certain of that. It's when he stands that he becomes aware of the fact that he's not alone. 

Ben Solo is standing in the entry way, dressed not in Jedi robes, but something more akin to the ceremonial robes of Alderaan. Hux is vaguely aware that this makes no sense, but then neither does sitting in an Alderaanian garden that has been destroyed decades past. 

"Why are you here?" 

"You asked me," Ben's response is too easy and accompanied by a rather too familiar shrug. 

"I didn't ask you here."

"It's your dream," the Jedi points out, crossing towards him and taking Hux's place on the smooth stone. He pulls long legs up under him cross-legged, the dark blue robes he's wearing spreading over them and hiding them from view. For a moment he sits, posture straight, staring at Hux and then he physically levitates off of the rock, his lips quirking up into a smile at the expression on Hux's face. "So I rather think you did."

"I thought you were different than you are," Hux tells him. 

"Most people do, but I'm not a bad guy." 

"I didn't say you were." 

Except hasn't Hux been saying exactly that? Arrogant, entitled, lacking in humility, and disabusing his powers. He's not been given any real evidence to support the contrary. 

Ben raises an eyebrow, "I'm not perfect."

"That I can agree with," Hux responds wryly. 

"You've got expectations too. You think I'm this or that, and you're pleased when I meet them. You don't want to give me an opportunity to defy them." 

"That's hardly fair when you've come into my life and shown me very little outside of a disregard for my person and an arrogance that leads me to believe you think you can do no wrong." 

"And what about you? You're so afraid you'll be measured by your father that you don't even talk about him." 

"You don't know that."

"I do; this is your dream, stupid head. I know everything you know." 

"I could dream about something nice and instead I'm sitting here dreaming about you calling me childish names."

"Apparently you're thinking about me. Shame it's not something more fun." Ben winks.

The smirk that follows this pronouncement is all too familiar and something within Hux squirms uncomfortably at the revelation of it. Because yes, he knows he has been thinking about Ben Solo, but it's not something he wants to think about too much, even forced by his subconscious to consider it more deeply. And also dreaming about something more fun sounds nicer somehow. He throws a glare in the Jedi's direction.

"You're a show-off and a prick." 

There's something about being able to say this, even in a dream, that brings gratification.

"I'm just being me. If that's showing off, then yeah, I guess I am." 

"Just being you." 

"If you're gorgeous and you walk in public, you aren't showing off. You're just being. It's not intended to make anyone else feel worse about themselves." 

Even in his dreams, Ben must apparently be arrogant and obnoxious, but as attractive as ever, and the pull of attraction in his gut is perhaps even stronger here in this strange place that he's built in his mind. The consequences of giving into that desire seems lessened here, even as part of him reminds himself that this isn't a dream, it's real. It isn't just a place he's built in his mind, but a place that exists somewhere. 

"It isn't about walking somewhere, it's about what you say," Hux returns finally, and he walks away, but Ben is there beside him just a few inches taller and Hux could reach out and touch him. He doesn't, but it's a moment later when he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

"Yeah, I'm not always good with words." 

"I've noticed." 

"You shouldn't be bound by what other people think of your father." 

"It doesn't work that way," Hux squints off into mountain ranges that seem more orange than he thinks they should be. Perhaps the sun is setting. "Even among Centrist groups there are opinions." 

"They only mean so much. Trust me. Everyone has opinions about me, about my mother, about my grandfather, about the Jedi, about the republic my mom's served for her entire life. You can't let them get you down. You can't build your life around them. You can't build your life around what you fear." 

"I don't do that." 

"That's why you live alone with a cat." 

"Millicent's a companion." 

"She's not a companion for your hopes and dreams." 

"That's a romantic illusion." 

"Yeah, sometimes I think so too." 

There is a dark red in the sky, a pin pointed beam of it that seems to be firing directly towards the heart of the garden where they were sitting. With it there is a growing sense of unease in Hux's heart. Something doesn't feel right, and he scans the horizon looking for the source of it. The mountains are serenely beautiful - as lovely as the southern mountains on Hosnian Prime's main continent. They resemble these mountains more than Alderaan's mountains if Hux is being honest. Odd considering the accuracy with which he has managed the Alderaanian gardens. But maybe these aren't Alderaanian gardens after all. 

"You believe in romance." 

The urgency to leave, to run, to go somewhere - anywhere but here - and maybe to take Ben with him intensifies as he stands in place. But he's not certain where to run, where to go, or how to explain this feeling that is threatening to spur a full-on panic attack. 

"I want to believe in romance," Ben says, and turns towards him. "I don't know that I've any reason to do so. But I want to." 

"We need to go." Hux puts to words the feeling of dread that's bubbling up, undeniable now. 

"It's too late," Ben turns to look at him and then to the deep red that has become bolder and closer. 

In his head, he hears Ben's voice: _Romance can be cultivated like plants_. 

Hux can see the deep red now; it's a laser beam headed for the heart of the castle and the garden where they just were. It makes contact and for an instant there is nothing. It is an instant that seems to last for moments upon moments. Hux can feel a hand in his own, and then everything falls in on itself. The castle tumbling into broken pieces of stones like an asteroid field suddenly created in a moment. 

\---

Hux jerked awake, heart pounding, the darkness of the room providing no defense against the feeling of dread that pounded against his skull while he tried to chase it away by deep breathing. It was an irrational sense of dread, bred only by the nightmare he'd just left. Millicent was by his head, pressing against the back of it with her typical determination that his pillow was in fact her bed. Her body was warm, and he could feel her breathing. 

Hux allowed himself to exhale and he turned over. This action provided him with a face full of orange fur, but it also allowed him to put his hand on her chest, warm, and raising softly up and down with her breath, followed nearly instantaneously with a sudden onslaught of purring. The last thought of the dream along with Ben's words, were still ringing in his mind, along with the pounding heartbeat, difficulty breathing, and the feeling of wrongness in the galaxy. 

Hux kept his hand on Millicent's chest and commanded his heart and breath to fall into something that is closer to normality. It was only a nightmare. His subconscious spurred into bringing Ben into his dream from the interview earlier in the evening. It made logical sense when he considered it in this context, and nothing in the dream contradicted his own admission to the small four-legged creature beside him that he'd hoped for something more. Millicent grounded him to the present, and slowly some of the dread was pulled back under control. 

He could explain away Ben, but the feeling of something off in the galaxy stayed long past this rationalization. Hux ignored Millicent's vocalized complaint as he sat up and slid his feet into slippers on his way to the balcony. 

There was nothing in the sky above the apartment but a full moon. 

No red beam, no sunset across the Hosnian mountains. This should have felt more reassuring than it did. Hux sighed, irritated by his sudden onslaught of irrationality. He had no patience for it during the best of times and this week had hardly been that. He reached for the plaid blanket he kept on the balcony and wrapped it around his shoulders as he sat down. Wrapped around his shoulders, the blanket kept the cool of the night air off. He leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. 

It had been a long time since he'd had a nightmare where the feeling of something about to go terribly wrong had lingered long past awaking. The last time he'd been a teenager. Most of the times he could remember he had been just a boy. Usually they had involved his father in some way or another. Either he'd come back and taken him away from his mother, or hurt her in some way, or sometimes they'd learned of the death of his father. The two extremes articulated the wild variance in feelings Hux held towards his father - either he wanted him desperately, or he was afraid to have him.

Hux wasn't certain when he'd transferred his uncertainty onto Ben Solo, and he wasn't certain he liked the implications of the feeling of that in his dream. But the source of his unrest hadn't really been Ben Solo had it? If anything the dream had bordered on pleasant until the point where it had all been - rather literally - blasted to smithereens. Nothing like being on a planet during its dream-like destruction. The slowness of the destruction had felt like an epic apocalyptic holovid, and very little like the actual destruction of Alderaan might have been from the Alderaanian standpoint. No one would have seen that coming - the Death Star too close, and the blast too centralized - and anyone there would have likely been blasted apart before they knew anything had happened. 

The thought gave him no particular pleasure. 

Part of him wondered if he'd gone soft with his work in the gardens. It wasn't as if he approved of the destruction, exactly, but he also hadn't given it much thought generally speaking even if it was, in its own way, the source of his profession. Certainly he'd never dreamed about it before. It was the destruction of a long-dead planet, and there was no reason for the feeling of unrest to linger now. 

Apparently unwilling to keep his bed to herself, Millicent found him before dawn. She jumped into his lap without asking and curled herself around on his thighs whilst punching them dangerously with her claws before she settled. Hux left his hand on her fur, closed his eyes, and tried to rest, but it couldn't come despite the fact that he was tired and he had managed to chase away most of the anxiety. It mattered not: he was awake and awake he would stay until the light turned gray and then lightly purple, and then yellow spread across the horizon beyond the apartment buildings, and then blues, and then the sky was light and Hux put Millicent aside to go make caf. 

The garden was quiet that day, leaving Hux to wish that it was a bit busier so that he could fill up the hesitance of the dream with the business of activity. Nonetheless, he planned the rest of the week out on paper, filling in the commands for the droids, and where he would be working with items himself. The Kassus lilies still needed pruning so it was the final act of the day to go down where the lilies were to determine whether he wanted to start on it the next day or the day following. 

When he stepped around the corner, a figure sat on the bench. It wasn't Ben Solo, something he was glad of despite the unwilling jump his heart had given when he saw a figure out of the corner of his eyes. Instead a woman sat with a cloak wrapped around her shoulders and a shawl up over her head. She saw Hux and offered him a wrinkled smile. Around the same age as his mother, more than likely, and he simply nodded his head briefly before moving to check the lilies. 

They were ready to be cut back if they were going to get more blooms out of them, which really determined that tomorrow he would do the process including sorting the buds out so that they could get some seeds from the bunch. 

"They're such gorgeous flowers," the woman spoke softly as he turned around so that he couldn't continue to just stay silent any longer. 

"Yes, they are. We're lucky to have them here. They were among the first plants I tracked down." 

"I'm so glad. They're my favorite part of the garden," she sighed wistfully. "They remind me of my husband. He loved them so." 

Hux didn't have to ask. Instead he simply stepped towards the bench. "Why were you away?" 

"I was speaking at the University of Coruscant," she said with a small smile. "It was an amazing opportunity - the sort of once in a lifetime thing that comes along. My husband was the one who encouraged me to go, but he didn't feel he could accompany me. His work was difficult to get away from and so he stayed behind. He gave me Kassus lilies when he asked me out. You know the myth, yes?" 

Hux had to admit that he didn't. While he might know precisely what touch and position and cut was required to cultivate the growth of the flowers, the culture of them mostly escaped him. With the exception of a few things he hadn't bothered to really spend much time on it in the gardens either. It occurred to him that it might not hurt to do so. People liked emotions, and emotions tended to generate interest, and interest tended to generate money and money tended to generate more things for him to research and make better. 

He stepped over and nodded at the bench, "do you mind?" 

The woman motioned for him to sit although her gaze was far away still. "They're a lover's flower." 

"The lilies?" Hux vaguely remembered a paragraph on traditions he'd read once, but he'd forgotten this piece, and he wondered suddenly despite himself if Ben knew this. 

"Yes," her cheeks dimpled slightly. "I was on track for an Imperial position when Victor caught my eye. He was handsome, but I didn't want to be distracted, and there were rumors that he didn't think so highly of the Empire... He sent me a bouquet." 

"It changed your mind," Hux looked over towards the flowers, as an atypical emotion tugged at him threatening to unwind him. 

"It was a start," she laughed around the sparkle of tears in her eyes. "It was not the end. Love needs cultivation. Perhaps as much as these lilies do." 

The words were not precisely the same as those in his dream, but it was enough to feel startlingly similar, and Hux turned to look at her sharply. But if she noticed his look, she didn't pay it heed. 

"They're difficult flowers to keep, very particular, I think perhaps that's why they're considered a lover's flower - it's symbolic of the work love can entail. You're looking at me as if I can't be possibly correct." 

"No," Hux frowned and looked away to the lilies. "It's just - a coincidence." 

"There are no coincidences young man," she said softly, reaching over to cover his hand. "The Force moves in all of us whether we choose to recognize it or not." 

"I'm not a Jedi." The story, this woman, her words, the dreams he had felt last night - he could buy coincidence, perhaps, but not the Force. The Force wasn't something he had any interest in.

"You don't have to be," she smiled. "It's a matter of the heart isn't it?" 

"More the need to stay true to my dreams and to not let myself be abused in the process of them." 

"Be certain they're the dreams you want," she advised as she stood, walking slowly towards the lilies. "They're about ready to be cut, yes?" 

"Yes," Hux stood up to follow behind her. The dream once again pressed to the forefront of his mind, he realized the woman in front of him had lost something very tangible in the world his father had supported. "Would you like one to take with you?" 

"I would, thank you, young man." 

Hux reached into his pocket and pulled the shears out of his pocket, and he reached over to snip one of the flowers that was still in decent shape and would last her a day or two. He quietly handed it over. 

"Thank you. You remind me a bit of my Victor. Oh, his hair was a deep chestnut brown, not the lovely ginger yours is, but something about your eyes." 

Hux watched her dip the lily into her pocket, and despite himself words tumbled out. "If there was someone who you had fought with, and he apologized poorly, but you think he really intended it - meant it… Is it worth trying? Or put another way, what if you aren't certain if it's a lily or a Manalana snake vine you're giving water?" 

Hux had no idea what he was doing asking this question of a total stranger, but he would not ask it of his mother, and Millicent could give him nothing, and perhaps in the aftermath of last night's nightmare he could not help but feel some kinship to this Alderaanian woman. 

"If it was a plant, what would you do?" 

"I'd give it water," Hux said instantaneously. "Until I had some sign, of whether or not it was a Manalana snake vine or something I want to cultivate." 

That felt too easy. And what if he was missing the signs, or simply ignoring them altogether in favor of something that wasn't anything he would want in his garden? But the woman was smiling, as if he'd stumbled across the right answer, and she _was_ a stranger, and it had been an odd question to ask her in the first place. 

"Thank you for the lily, Mr Hux. Keep up the work in these gardens. It is the one place I can feel Victor." 

"You're welcome," Hux offered a slight almost bow as she walked away. For a moment he stood, shears in hand and then, unwilling to dig further, he turned the other direction to head back to the greenhouses to close the up for the night. 

That night, Hux sat on the balcony again, wrapped up in his blanket half-afraid to fall asleep for what his mind might give him that time around. The idea that it might be the Force was laughable, and beyond that, uncomfortable. Hux didn't like to think anything so inexplicable had any hold on his life. And yet... He'd seen Solo on the holo, and then the dream about Alderaan, and then meeting with the woman, and everything she'd said. It wasn't the Force; it couldn't be. Just a convergence that he was working too hard to try to connect in his mind for reasons that were illogical and possibly self-harming. 

He buried his fingers in Millicent's fur and considered. He had been ready to let the entire thing go. Why was he still thinking on it now? Perhaps because after the holo, after the _dream_ , part of him was wondering was it really a Manalana snake vine? 

The next morning he walked into the gardens with a cup of caf in one hand and his datapad in the other. He was pulling up the daily schedules on the datapad when the lead droid walked into the office space. "We're beginning to prune the Kassus Lilies," the droid spoke in his gravelly voice. 

They would all be pruned - even the blooms that had not yet opened and those at the height of their beauty. It made for a beautiful pile of flowers for what would ultimately end up a compost heap, but it would encourage a second and third bloom - with the most impressive usually towards the end of the warm season. While Hux had to do much of the work with the lilies with his own hands, the pruning was something the droids could do and usually did. For a moment, Hux paused. From his walk-through yesterday he knew how many of the flowers were in bloom yet. If they were put into buckets, they could make someone's space very relaxing - filled with the scent of the Kassus lilies, and the beauty of the flowers themselves. 

_They're a lover's flower._

"I'll work on that today," he said firmly. "I'd like you to spend your time down by the Jar'dnnr Hedges." 

"Are you certain sir?" 

"Yes, I'm quite certain," Hux said, the resolve firming up as he set the caf down to reprogram the duties in the datapad. "I'll take care of the lilies." 

"Very well, sir." 

It was rash, romantic, and everything that Hux normally despised about human behavior and prided himself in not getting involved with, and yet, if it was the Force - It wasn't the Force - but if it wasn't mere coincidence that would become obvious soon enough, wouldn't it?

"If you're a snake vine, I'll cut you off," he muttered as he headed to the racks to prepare his tool belt.

"What's that, sir?" 

"Nothing," Hux waved his hand at the droid. "Go on, I'll get this sorted." 

It required some extra tools, buckets with water, and the blooms being sorted into different categories. Generally a certain selection of the blooms would be set aside to pull seeds from. Hux still did this, but he gathered those mostly from those blooms that were beginning to fade already. The blooms that had just begun, and were on the beginning edges, and those that would fade in a day perhaps, but could survive one more, all of these were put into buckets together. 

By noon, Hux had gathered a large bucket full of blooms and the most of the lilies had been pruned back. It was a large sea of just dark green and nothing else, but give them another week, and there would be twice as many blooms as their had been today. 

He repacked his tools, and turned to take the buckets, using his smaller datapad to program the droids to come by and pick up the leftover seed lilies. 

He returned to the office and was greeted by the office droid. "Sir there was a holocall this morning for you - they wish you to speak at the convention on Corellia at the end of the month." 

"At the end of the month?" Hux raised an eyebrow. He'd known of the convention for weeks now and had planned to attend despite Corellia's culture being a bit wild and unruly, but to be asked to speak with such short notice. "Who canceled?" 

"I'm not certain, sir." The droid looked puzzled. "Should I call and ask them?"

"No, it's fine," Hux said. "I'll contact them for details. In the meantime I would like you to get some information for me."


	7. Chapter 7

As it turned out, Hux was not allowed much time to second guess his rash decision making, or to really focus on the unease he seemed unable to shake in the aftermath of the dream. The return call had provided him with with a request from the society to not just speak at the conference but to do the keynote.

Someone had canceled, thus the short notice, but Hux couldn't quite cool the swelling of pride because he had been asked. Perhaps not first, but he _had_ been asked, and he was determined to give the best, most accurate keynote the society had ever seen, and next time - perhaps - to be asked first. That determination meant that Hux found himself spending less time at the gardens as he dug into research, readings, and trying to determine what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. The droids were left to manage most of the garden work, and the handful of things the droids couldn't manage that simply could not be put off until later Hux found himself doing at odd hours of the morning or evening, so that he could devote large swaths of times when he was typically at his most alert to the presentation itself. 

Deciding on a topic and choosing the focus had been a challenge. He had spent most of one morning and four cups of caf wearing out the carpet in his office as he walked from one end to the other, stopping periodically to dictate notes to a datapad. Obviously he would be speaking on his specialty, it was part of what they would want, which meant Alderaanian plants specifically, but he had chosen to focus to the difficulties in growing plants outside of their native habitats. He began his presentation with the Serrusi trees. They had been difficult to cultivate even once he had tracked down a tree to cultivate from. And yet their fruit was still prized across the galaxy, and once cultivated and established, they could endure a wider range of climatic conditions than many of the Alderaanian plants could do, and the fruit itself offered back to the galaxy something of note. 

This fact allowed him to make a note about the strengths that the plants could offer the galaxy and how keeping them alive and sharing them with others so that their characteristics could be spread into other gardens was ultimately in the galaxy's best interest. 

While it might seem otherwise, it was _not_ an entirely altruistic lecture. There had been one too many times he had been turned down for a cutting or a sprout from a collector or other garden despite being willing to pay with a generous amount of credits. If someone in the audience felt a smidge of guilt for hoarding rare plants then let them. Perhaps the next time Hux contacted them his work would be more easily accomplished. 

He moved on to speak to some of cross pollination that had been done with the Nivaan bushes. Native to Alderaanian mountains, Hux had stumbled across this acquisition by accident about five years ago when he'd overheard a boast in a club. Hux had hunted the person down, demanded access to the plant, and ultimately he'd worked his way into ownership of several snippings, and he'd sat about making them grow. Hux described the process in detail, including the disappointments and the frustrations along the way - and there had been numerous ones. It seemed that the Nivaan was not going to bloom in just any setting, and when Hux finally noted the trick to make it bloom, he was unable to get it to grow further. 

As he did research he'd realized that the Nivaan had a very particular eco-structure which allowed for its pollination and propagation and that it required plants and animals that truly had been lost - so far as anyone knew - with Alderaan. To that degree it was amazing that this one bush had survived. Hux had become determined to grow it, and it had been most of his life's work for the better part of the next year. He'd separated each of the cuttings and nurtured them into growth in separate rooms and then he'd set up different experiments with each of them, trying different mixes of plants and insects that were similar to what the Nivaan had been given on its home world. 

Failures had been complete at times, one of the cuttings had all but died, two of the other ones had been held back and he'd had to take them out of the experimentation to nurse them back to strength and health. About the time he'd thought he was going to have to give up, he'd had a breakthrough with a Naboo Scuttle Bee. It was a strange looking insect that looked nothing like the ones that pollinated the Nivaan on Alderaan except for one part - a tail that drug behind them. It made their movement awkward and lacking in grace, but it was precisely what was needed for the Nivaan, and Hux had grinned the first day he'd found a pollinated flower on the plant. 

Now the garden had five Nivaan bushes, nestled amongst the local plants and with a crop of Naboo Scuttle Bees that would be introduced into the closed greenhouses when pollination time came. 

It was still the work that he was most proud of. He had persisted, and because of him something had been reborn. 

Despite the focus, the swiftness with which he had been required to write, meant that the first draft of the presentation rambled. It was also desperately in need of source checking as many references had been noted in parentheses with a last name & a question mark. As much as he would love to hand the work of both over to a droid, it couldn't be done, even had he had a protocol droid specializing in speech and communication. So this morning he'd gotten out of the office, to the tapcaf across from the gardens. His datapad was on the table of the booth he was sitting in as he worked through his speech.

Hux had spent nearly an hour sipping caf and reading, cutting, re-writing, and trimming. The fact checking and full sourcing could wait until later. His 'final' draft of his paper would need to be sent to the society that evening for review, which meant he didn't really have a lot of time to be certain he was completely comfortable with the lot of it. As he finished the last of his second refill of coffee, he took a break to switch over and review the program for the third time - just to be certain. The society had sent him a draft of the program this morning for any corrections and seeing his name in print - even if he hated his first name most of the time - had been satisfying. Everything about this was more satisfying than he could have expected. 

He looked up from the datapad and reached to go refill his caf in time to see a tall, broad shouldered figure slide into the booth across from him. Hux blinked across into Ben Solo's warm brown eyes. They were focused completely on Hux with both intensity and an almost child-like level of excitement.

"You sent me lilies." 

Despite the preoccupation, Hux could not have forgotten this fact. In fact, he had wondered if he would see Solo at the gardens after he had done so. But with the society keynote and his giving everything over to the droids for the week he'd been in the gardens very little. And he hadn't had time to think about what Solo's response would be. He still needed to put references into a paper that needed to be submitted in about six hours, which meant he probably didn't have time to think about it now, but as it seemed to go with Ben Solo, Hux was now being faced with the man as a part of his day even if he hadn't asked for it. At the moment, at least, with that look in the man's eyes it didn't feel entirely like a bad thing. 

"How did you find me?" 

"Your droids," Ben leaned forward across the table his voice intensely earnest. "I've been looking for you all week." 

"They're not supposed to tell anyone where I am," Hux sighed. 

There was a pause as Ben stared at him and when he finally spoke he sounded genuinely bewildered. "I don't get you. I thought I'd completely kriffed up everything, and you were cold and disinterested, like, right now for instance, and then you turn around and send me three buckets of priceless, rare, Alderannian lilies that left my mother speechless." 

It was Hux's turn to be startled into silent staring. He hadn't even considered that Leia Organa might see the lilies, although he realized that he had no idea where Ben's address was. Did he still live with his parents? He had to be close to Hux's own age, didn't he? As the silence threatened to extend into awkwardness he moistened his lips and shrugged with a casualness he didn't quite feel. "I was cutting them anyway," he glanced down at the datapad in front of him, his cheeks feeling hot despite himself. "I thought you might enjoy them since you liked meditating there." 

"Even though I 'read your mind'?" Ben raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Despite that," Hux frowned. "That's still poor form. But I recognize you were trying to apologize, however inept you were at it." 

"So are the lilies your attempt to apologize for not accepting the apology? Because I feel like you're kind of being inept at that." 

A surge of irritation threatened, Hux angry at himself for having given into rash and romantic because of a romanticized story from a stranger, and a _dream_ , and more rationally irritated with Ben for having tracked him down in what was supposed to be a caf filled sanctuary of relative silence, and cursed his own ability to simply tell Ben it wasn't intended to be anything, or mean anything, even if such was blatantly untrue, and he should just go away and let him work. The society paper may have provided him an easy distraction for the past few days, but now faced with brown eyes and inquisitive expressions framed by soft brown hair, Hux was reminded of why he'd sent the damn lilies in the first place. 

Hux sighed and flipped the switch on his datapad highlighting his irritability and the switch of his attention from his work onto Ben Solo. 

"I'm just a gardener," he stated evenly. "What do you care what I think of you?" 

Ben shook his head. "No, that wasn't," it was his turn to sigh and he did so, raising a hand to his hair and pushing it back from his face. Hux tried very hard not to notice the way the curls fell forward again anyway, unruly and all too touchable. 

"Look," Ben tried again. "I was wrong when I said that. I should never have phrased it that way. I got defensive and I get the impression that I'm bothering you every time I talk to you, so I felt like I needed to, I don't know, maybe convince myself you weren't important. But at the same time, you send me lilies - rather a lot of them - which leaves me the impression that maybe you do want to talk to me. If I'm wrong, I'll leave. I'll find somewhere else to meditate and I won't bother you again." 

"I thought I didn't own the garden," the words were out of Hux's mouth before he could think better of them, or of the fact that he seemed incapable of accepting any apology, or ceasing to throw past actions back in Ben's face. Then again, maybe he needed to know if Ben could take the criticism, considering that so far Hux hadn't found him very capable of it. 

But instead of flinching, Ben looked up and met Hux's eyes steadily. "If you don't want me there I'll find somewhere else," Ben repeated. 

Hux swallowed, silent for a moment as he digested that totally unexpected promise. When was the last time someone had taken his wishes into account? His mother had, to a point, but in the end he'd been forced into things because of necessity. His droids did, but they were programmed to do so. Never had he had a human being offer to inconvenience themselves instead of inconveniencing him. Was this what that felt like? Half of him wanted to test that power, to tell Solo he didn't wish to see him again, and to see if it would happen, but that would mean that he wouldn't actually see Ben Solo again, except maybe on the holonet news, accompanying queens and diplomats to functions. His eyebrows furrowed together as he asked: "Who are you?"

The question seemed to confuse Ben; he sat back. "Who am I?"

"Underneath all this other," Hux persisted. "You're a Jedi, your mother is Leia Organa, your grandfather was Darth Vader, your father was a Smuggler, but who are you? Who do you want to be? You said you didn't want to confine yourself to expectations, then fine. I'm asking you outright: Who are you?" 

For the first time since he'd sat down, the corner of Ben's lips turned up in a half-grin. "I can't explain that over one cup of caf," he responded. "But I'm pretty certain that someone who sends me three buckets of Kassus Lilies has already set about defying some expectations of his own." 

Hux's heart felt as if it were beating too loudly. If his thoughts were yelling, then this must be a drumbeat in the Jedi's ears, but he couldn't stop it, nor could he bring himself to walk away. "You're saying you want to answer it." 

"I like caf," Ben shrugged. 

"My father was an Imperial," Hux pointed out, not entirely certain what he was getting at. 

"My grandfather was too," Ben raised his eyebrows. 

"I tend to vote Centrist," Hux added, reaching for his cup of caf and wishing it had something it besides the few drops at the bottom of the cup.

"Yeah? They're not all wrong," Ben returned with an ease that startled Hux out of his persistant attempt to find reasons that he and Ben Solo weren't going to work. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, really," Ben leaned across the table. "So far you've now thought I was my grandfather, and seemed to imply you suspect that I agree with my mother on everything, but I don't. I never have. Grandfather's more complicated, but Mom's simpler. She grew up under the Empire, and a lot of what she does and suggests and fights for is influenced by that, but she pushes too far the other direction sometimes. The galaxy can't live without anything at its center. Too much control can be a prison, but not enough is a prison of a different sort. There's got to be a balance point. If there isn't, everything springs to chaos. It's what we've been seeing the past few years. Sometimes I think Mom sees it," he hesitated. "Sometimes I think she doesn't, but it doesn't matter, because our generation is the one that's going to shape the galaxy from here on out. It's up to us." 

"It's up to you maybe," Hux raised an eyebrow. "I'm just a gardener." 

"You're a galactic citizen," Ben shook his head at this response. "And I've been doing reading on some of your accomplishments. You're determined and you stick with things. You could change the galaxy." 

Hux felt frozen in space at those words: the exact opposite of what Ben had seemed to suggest before. Maybe it was the caf, or maybe it was the way Ben had begun to answer his questions in a roundabout way, or the fact that Solo had spent time looking him up; or maybe at this close distance with knees practically touching underneath a table where Hux could probably reach out and push a dark curl back behind his ears, and the suspicion that he could tell Ben half of the ridiculous and impossible dreams he'd had for his life and Ben's response would be 'you could do it', or maybe it was all of those things, but Hux was suddenly quite certain he didn't want Ben to stop coming to the garden. 

He swallowed and glanced at the cup in front of him then back up to Ben. "How do you feel about Corellian caf?" 

There was a moment of surprise at this question and then Ben seemed to pull himself together. "Overly bitter, their ale's better." 

The flippant response caused Hux to grin. "I don't know, the Drall strands seem to have this floral taste to them. If it's overly bitter then it's bad roasting." 

"You're saying I've only ever had bad Corellian caf," Ben raised an eyebrow at this. "You know I'm half-"

"Corellian, yeah," Hux finished the sentence for him. "I did some reading." 

"Oh really," Ben grinned wide again. "You spent your free time reading up on me?" 

"I'm not the only one." Hux pointed back to Ben's earlier statement trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks. With an attempt to distract he added: "What are you doing this weekend?" 

Ben shrugged. "My mom's going off planet for some diplomatic thing for Alderaanian survivors. I'm going to give her some of the seeds from your lilies to take with her."

Something about this made Hux smile. "Do you know how to remove them properly?" 

"I think so, well, mom kinda did. But I..." Ben trailed off into silence, tilting his head to consider Hux. "There's an actual method?" 

"Yeah, there is, and I'm pretty busy this week, but I could maybe show you." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Hux paused, took a breath and plunged into his second rash action of the week, but something about it felt absurdly right and he wasn't about to admit it had anyything to do with the Force, but still: "If you'll come to Corellia with me this weekend." The surprise on Ben's face really matched the uncertainty Hux was feeling about this whole idea. It wasn't a good idea, probably. Probably it was a really bad idea. "I'll buy you a cup of caf," he added. "After I give my keynote." 

"Your what?" 

"That's why I'm here, and not at the gardens," Hux explained, turning on the datapad and flipping to the preliminary program to slide it across so Ben could see. "I'm giving a keynote for the Intergalactic Society of Growth and Gardening in Coronet City this weekend." 

"Armitage Hux," Ben smirked. 

"I take it back," Hux pulled the datapad back across to him. 

Ben chuckled and made a grab for the datapad. Ben's fingers brushed Hux's, warm and confident, and he didn't move them."You really want me to come with you?"

"If you promise not to mention my first name the entire weekend." 

"They'll misspell it on the caf cup," Ben's eyes were dancing with mirth. "Why would I put any of us through that." 

"You're on your own for your transport, and housing while we're there," Hux ignored the teasing. "And I feel like you haven't had proper Corellian caf if your only descriptor for it can be 'bitter'." 

"Well, my Dad's not exactly a connoisseur," Ben admitted. "But have you bought your transport ticket yet, because I've got a ship; you should come with me." 

Hux hesitated at this, but there was nothing to say that he couldn't buy his own transport ticket back if this turned out to be a terrible idea. "All right, I suppose that would be practical." 

"Practical," Ben laughed as if Hux were joking.

"What's wrong with practical?" 

"Nothing, in moderation," Ben grinned. "But I somehow feel like you're very good about moderation in every condition except practical." 

Hux blushed. There was nothing wrong with being practical. It had kept him alive all these years, and he didn't have the freedom that someone like Solo would have in life. 

"It's been awhile since I've been to Coronet City," Ben continued. "Just promise it's not all academics." 

"There will be at least one cup of caf." 

"Three," Ben said. "I can't answer all your questions over one. And maybe some ale too." 

Hux shook his head, but there was an explosion of jitters in his abdomen and as he glanced back up at Ben he realized it was excitement. 

Ben finally pulled his hand away from the datapad, his fingers managing to lightly trail Hux's fingers. "Can I come hear your speech or is it Society Members only?" 

Rash. Yes. But maybe _not_ a terrible idea. 

"I don't know," Hux replied. "But I'll check into it."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to work on my editing so I can continue updates over the next few weeks even while I'm traveling, but if not, it may be January before I get a new chapter up. In the meantime, enjoy!

Before Corellia there were the lilies and the seeds. Hux found himself approaching the apartment building near the political district with some apprehension. The building itself was nice. Posh without being showy about it, yet it couldn't help but remind him of all the people that Hux's mother worked for when he was a child even if it didn't match the grandeur of those homes. There was something about the atmosphere of the apartment building that sent him back to that sense of being a servant and underneath everyone else. 

As he stepped into the lift, he squared his shoulders and raised his chin. Unlike the homes he had grown up in he had been invited here specifically as a guest and not as a servant. Was he there to do work? Yes, but it was to educate. He was the expert and not the person waiting for instructions; that mattered. He had earned this invitation and he was there because of his own merits, not because he had no other choice. He drew in a breath and released it as the door opened and he stepped out on the floor given. At this level the number of apartments on the floor were minimal, so the door was easy to find, and the guest bell easy to ring. 

The apartment door was opened by a golden protocol droid, and the droid's fussy tones were immediately interrupted by a female voice. "I've got this Threepio." 

Hux found himself staring at Leia Organa and a momentary panic pushed up from his stomach as if it could escape in his throat. He swallowed, didn't blink, and kept his gaze even and his posture straight. It wasn't the first time he'd been in the presence of important people and he refused to let the unexpected push him off guard.

"Mr Hux I presume?" Her eyebrows raised as she looked him over. 

"That's right. I'm here to see Ben." 

"He mentioned," she stood to the side and allowed the door to open so Hux could enter. Once inside he stood awkwardly just out of the path of the door. After Organa closed it she turned around. "You sent him a lot of lilies." 

Hux couldn't help the small pinch of heat in his cheeks as he tried deliberately to keep himself calm under the scrutiny. It helped that his reasoning was obvious to anyone who did gardening. It certainly had nothing to do with the small altercation and no one could prove that he couldn't quite keep Ben Solo from his mind. Unfortunately, it seemed rather likely that Organa _might_ know the lilies were considered to be a lover's flower, and might likely believe that he knew the story too. Regardless: "The Kassus Lilies must be pruned back several times in the growing season. We do them all at once as it promotes the life and blooming of the plant. Ben and I had spoken before and he mentioned that he liked to meditate in the spot where they bloomed. They would have been thrown out otherwise - we don't typically keep seeds from every batch."

Organa's expression did not change so Hux had no way of knowing if she was accepting his words. Instead she stepped back from the door and motioned that he follow her. "You seem to know a great deal about Alderaanian lilies, Mr Hux." 

"Just Hux is fine," he breathed out. She hadn't brought up the legend yet, even if he wondered if it was implied in her statement. Either way, Hux certainly wasn't going to. "I learned when I was young." 

"But you aren't Alderaanian," and unlike when Ben had asked, this wasn't a question: She knew. 

For a half second Hux wondered if she knew who his father had been as well. Not that it should matter - it _didn't_ matter. Obviously he was a long way from his father on any superficial level, but for half a second he wondered if she knew he'd voted against her in every election.

"No," the word came out more harshly than he'd intended. He could hear his mother's voice telling him that he should be respectful and deferential, but it was something Hux had mostly ceased doing when he became head gardener at a prestigious garden on Hosnian Prime. He'd always hated pretending he was less than the people around him. He wasn't. He liked being in charge at the gardens. He preferred other people being deferential to him, and while it might not be everyone, he had worked hard to come to a place where at least some were deferential. Still, it might not be a great idea to annoy the former senator too much. Her father had been Darth Vader after all. "My mother worked for a lover of Alderaanian horticulture when I was young. She wanted a gardener so I learned to do the work." 

"You continue it now though it is no longer a necessity?" 

"Why wouldn't I? I am good at the work."

She hummed lightly as they entered a dining room with polished wood panels lining the wall. Hux would have gaped had he not grown up around houses more grand. 

"The seeds will be appreciated by those who can no longer enjoy them in their home." 

Perhaps the bite in her tone was imagined, or perhaps it wasn't. Hux couldn't be quite certain. But he wasn't going to take it personally even if it might be intended so. He was not the Empire, nor did he have anything more to do with them than she did - they both, after all, had DNA of Imperials running through their veins. His politics were his own, and he'd had nothing to do with Alderaan's destruction. Even if he'd been thinking of it a lot recently. Really it had been a tremendous waste in the end. A waste of resources, and beauty, and ecosystems that were irreplaceable, and wasn't he about to try to educate the galaxy on that fact? They might think about things differently, but they weren't entirely on different sides either.

His mother had always told him that the Death Star had been the beginning of the end. It had been intended to create fear, and certainly it had. But it had also raised sympathy for the Rebellion. That had pulled apart the Empire's leadership and left the remaining Imperials tearing over the carcass like a pack of dogs. She had taken her leave when she'd seen an opportunity. And Hux had internalized that if not for Alderaan, perhaps his life would have been one of an Imperial officer's son. He might still have been a bastard, but Hux had been given no other sons. Being given the opportunity of a true-born son wasn't outside the realm of possibility. 

"Mom, you didn't call me." The voice to his left was a welcome distraction from Leia Organa's questioning and the line of thought the questioning prompted and Hux turned around to see Ben, looking slightly flustered at the sight of his mother showing Hux into the room. 

"Threepio got the door and I sent him to find you, didn't he?" 

Hux was pretty certain she hadn't said anything to the droid in his presence, but she might have said something before it opened the door. Regardless, it didn't seem wise to mention it to Ben in his mother's presence. 

"Well, we've got this," Ben said. "Don't worry." 

A look seemed to pass between them and then Organa turned and offered Hux a politic smile and a nod of her head. "Happy seed hunting." 

"Sorry," Ben said, and some, but not all, of the tension seemed to release as his mother exited. 

Hux shook his head and shrugged. "It's fine. Do you want to get started?" 

"Yeah," Ben seemed to remember why they were here and brightened a bit. "What do we need?" 

"Well, we'll need some empty containers to sort with - do you have some bowls or buckets? Bowls would be easiest for the seeds themselves, probably about five - if you want to keep the varieties separate. Buckets or a trash bin for the remaining plant pieces." 

"Yeah, I can do that, or - _Threepio_?" 

Ben's raised voice was louder than Hux had anticipated, and Hux looked over at him. Much of the time he'd seen him there was the famed Jedi calm, but Hux could also see how the rumors of emotional instability grew. Some said, the Jedi were always calm on the surface, but most contained an inner monster you didn't want to upset. Ben's emotions seemed more prominent than 'always calm on the surface' and frankly had since he'd first known him. 

It should not have been as attractive as it was. What was he getting himself into by inviting Ben to Corellia? 

The golden protocol droid appeared and Ben gave him a list of instructions to bring in. 

"But sir I don't think I can carry all of those things."

"Then make more than one trip?" Ben suggested with an edge to his tone.

"Oh. Well, of course Master Ben." 

"Did you meditate in here?" Hux asked, looking at the buckets of now wilted and dried lilies lining the wall. 

"I did for a few days," Ben grinned, good mood back on his face. "If that's important to you." 

"Not particularly," Hux could feel a blush rising to his cheeks as he stepped forward to take some of the dried lilies from the bucket. He lifted the stem and carefully considered the petals which had dried to a brittle crisp. 

"It's not too late to get the seeds is it?" Ben asked. "Some of them didn't last for very long after." 

"I wouldn't have expected they would," Hux pulled back the petals slightly. This was probably one of the older more brittle blooms, but it appeared he would be able to pull back the petals to pull out the important stigma before searching for the seeds underneath. "And they should be fine. There's a period of time in which you can harvest them, and we should be solidly within it for everything I cut." 

"They were all different colors. Will the seeds bloom with multiple colors, or is every seed different?" 

"They're all different ones," Hux looked over at him. "That's why the several smaller bowls are important. We'll want to sort them out and take the seeds out accordingly. We'll try to keep them separate, so that if you wish to hand out multiple types in separate areas, you should be able to do so."

Ben nodded and then stepped over, eagerly, looking down at Hux with a shrug. "Show me?"

Hux couldn't resist such an earnest request, and so, barely hiding the smile that curled up at the edges of his lips, he nodded. 

The process wasn't difficult in concept so much as it was precise, but what he soon discovered was that Ben wasn't afraid to use the Force to assist. In fact by the time Threepio had returned with the bowls, Ben had pointed out that the process of removing the petals from the stem - a process that had to be done with some care so as to not spill seeds because of the way the plant was put together - was done far more simply with the Force. 

And so they had fallen into a pattern of sorts. Ben working on the petals, and Hux moving into some of the other areas. The golden protocol droid had hovered for a while, and then had ultimately disappeared which left the two men to work in silence. 

And to Hux's pleasure, it wasn't an unpleasant silence. Most of the time in the gardens he worked in silence, even if a droid or one of the rare non-droid workers were there with him. The work had a precision to it, and he didn't have anything he felt the need to say. He had only intended to show Ben how to do the work himself, but as the pattern had been set Hux had chosen to stay. Despite the upcoming convention, he didn't have anything terribly pressing this afternoon. Besides which, perhaps it was Organa's seemingly icy tone - or his own paranoia at said tone - but he couldn't help but want to ensure that the seeds were removed properly and made their way into the hands of people who might want them. It was pure sentiment, and he wasn't certain he cared for it, but the dream of Alderaan's explosion had continued to haunt him, keeping him from sleeping well over the past few days. 

"Did she ask you anything?" Ben's voice broke the silence and Hux's hand paused as he glanced over to check Ben's posture. 

"What do you mean?" Hux frowned. 

"Ever since you sent me these lilies she's kept asking me questions about you. I just wondered if she asked you anything." 

Hux dug into the particular flower in his hand and tried to think if that was an accusation or simply meant to be informational. He wished once again that he'd checked to see if anyone else lived at the address before sending them. Would it have stopped him though? If he'd known? He wasn't certain he could answer that question and he didn't much care for that fact about himself either. 

"I don't get you," he muttered before he could think better of it. He slid a pod of small seeds into the first of the containers. 

"What?" Ben frowned. 

Hux looked over at him, silent for a moment and then he sighed. "You're hot and cold, back and forth. One moment I think you're glad to see me, and the next I think you're angry at my existence. I thought Jedi were supposed to be calm." 

"What about _you_?" Ben stared astonished. "'You went from not accepting my apology, which, okay, it wasn't the best, but then I've decided to just never go to the gardens again, and you're suddenly sending me three buckets of lilies and when I go to find you - then you invited me to Corellia with you. Who does that?" 

Hux sighed. "I'm trying to figure out if you're a Manalana Snake Vine." 

"If I'm what?" 

Hux was silent for a moment, and then his lips pressed together in a smirk and he looked up and over at the man standing next to him. "Are you a Manalana Snake Vine? In other words, are you going to take over everything, and be intrusive, and harmful. Or, are you more like these lilies?" 

Ben didn't seem to know what to say to this. "You invited me to Corellia to share coffee with you." 

"I did." 

"My question had nothing to do with you. My Mother has ideas about who I should be and I'm tired of her interference." 

"Except that I feel like you're angry I sent you lilies." 

"I'm not angry, it's just - you have to admit it's sort of an over-the-top thing to do," Ben leaned forward across the table. "That's a lot of kriffing lilies to receive out of the blue from someone who mostly seems to be offended at your presence." 

"I'm not offended by -"

"No? So all that talk about mind reading was just you making small talk?"

"No, that's me saying that reading someone's mind or digging into their thoughts or whatever it is you do without their permission is sketchy!" 

"Yet you didn't seem to be upset when I showed up at the tapcaf. Why did you even invite me this weekend?" 

Hux was taken back by the question even though it was one he'd asked himself multiple times since he'd asked Ben to join him. He pressed his jaw together and stepped back from the table, straightening his shoulders and looking intently at Ben. The Jedi was staring at him equally intently back. There was an arrogance almost, but there was also uncertainty, and within the question there was that sense that Ben intended for Hux to treat him as an equal. There was the memory of the offer to never see him again if Hux didn't want him to visit the gardens. 

"Because you keep looking at me like that." 

Ben's gaze seemed to only intensify and Hux tried not to flinch, wondering if Ben was reading his mind right now. 

"I'm not," Ben's lips quirked up in a smile. 

"Then how do you know -" 

"I don't have to be reading your mind to know you want me to kiss you." 

This brought Hux's full attention to the man in front of him. His cheeks flushed and he stepped back, reaching for another lily. "I do not." 

To his surprise - and was that regret? - Ben didn't pursue it, but hummed gently and reached for another stem himself. "Nobody sends someone buckets of lilies if they don't want to be kissed. My mother said so." 

"I thought you were tired of her interference," Hux stated in a miraculously unwavering voice considering that he wanted to smack the man next to him.

"Sometimes she makes sense." Ben didn't add anything additional, instead continuing to work while leaving Hux flustered with the turn the conversation had taken. 

Whatever his justification to Organa, it was difficult to say he sent them simply because he needed a space for cut lilies to go when there was a perfectly good composter in the back. Particularly when he'd had the conversation he'd had with the woman the day before he'd done the cutting. A lover's flower. Romance must be cultivated. It had all seemed like a good idea at the time, but now he wondered if he hadn't just made his life and Ben's life more difficult. 

When Ben asked him a question about the convention, Hux answered it automatically, relieved that the question hadn't been something related to kissing. And the conversation then turned to something more work related, safer, until Hux was putting the last of the stems into a trash bin and preparing to go to the door. 

He'd been half afraid he would see Organa again, but he didn't. Wherever she'd disappeared she seemed to have disappeared for good.

As Hux prepared to leave he was stopped from reaching out to open the door by Ben as he leaned casually across the door-frame and watched Hux carefully. "You still want me to come with you this weekend?" 

Hux moistened his lips, and then promptly regretted having done so. He wasn't trying to invite a kiss. He frowned slightly. "Of course, why wouldn't I?" 

"I thought you might be uncomfortable with it. I can stay a lonely weekend here if you'd prefer." 

"Why would I be uncomfortable? You're very good with the lilies." 

"I'm good with the _lilies_."

"Yes, you're good with the lilies -- why are you looking at me like that?" 

Ben grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Southport, docking bay 3426."

Hux looked at him quizzically. 

"That's where my ship is. If you're there then we'll go to Corellia together. Otherwise I shall have to stay home and weep at being left behind."

Ben was surely joking at that one and Hux shook his head, flustered, and grateful for the opportunity to escape the brown eyes that seemed to have pinned him. "You're ridiculous. I'll see you at the agreed time." 

"Yeah, okay." Ben grinned, and opened the door for him to see himself out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year all! Hopefully the next chapter will be up before the end of the month.

There was a period of about one hour that Hux genuinely considered standing the Jedi up. It was an important keynote and he didn't need the distraction. If Ben was expecting this to be some sort of romantic getaway that wasn't the point. In fact, when Hux really stopped to think about it he wasn't certain what the point _was_ exactly. Sitting across from Ben Solo talking about Corellian caf, it had felt like the obvious thing to do. You don't know what good Corellian caf is, so let me invite you to share some with me. On Corellia, _naturally_.

Kriff, he was an idiot and all the denial in the galaxy was only going to get him thus far.

So far he'd sent the man flowers that were 'lover's flowers' in Alderaanian lore, and he'd done it knowing the story behind them. He'd maybe managed to convince himself it wasn't about that, it wasn't about the sentiment of the Alderaanian woman he'd left in the garden, and it wasn't about the emotional resonance of the dream that had mixed with the Alderaanian woman's stories in a way that had made him embrace some sort of idealistic notion of love or romance which was impractical at best. What need did Hux have of romance? Particularly with a Jedi? Then he'd made matters worse by teasing him about his experience with caf and inviting him on a weekend get away. 

That wasn't what it was, but it certainly might seem that way to Ben and Hux couldn't deny that it had the appearance of it. 

He was an idiot of galactic proportions really.

Despite this it seemed ridiculous to back out now. Especially since last minute fare to Corellia on a public transport was likely to cost an inordinate amount of money. This was only confirmed when he showed up at the pet hotel to drop off Millicent only to find that they had lost the reservation that was necessary for her to stay there. He complained, and spoke sternly and loudly with the person in charge, but to no avail. 

"I guess you're coming with me," he muttered to the cat as they left the place. "Behave," he added tersely as he was reminded of the incident with the remote. Probably this was all her doing.

If she was coming, her staying on the ship would be more practical than having to look up and hope for a place in Coronet City, or argue with his hotel about his reservation having most certainly been made with a cat included and yes they had told him it was all right. Public transit would be picky about pets as well. No, it was practical to go through with the plans as followed, and Hux was practical, and it was not, despite Ben's ribbing, a bad thing. And something told him that if he didn't show up this time it would be his last opportunity. Something told him that Ben would consider that the final straw in whatever they didn't have as a relationship, and Hux would lose any chance at whatever this wasn't that he had. Honestly, every time he considered _not_ going to Corellia with Ben, he felt more anxious than he felt about going to Corellia with Ben. 

This was how Hux found himself with a small bag over his shoulder, dressed in casual smart attire, holding a cat carrier with the wretched orange beast inside, standing outside bay 3426 in Southport. He didn't know what he had expected for the ship - something flashy perhaps - but instead on the docking bay sat a serviceable, but moderate yacht. It had been modified, as best Hux could tell, but it certainly wasn't the sort of splash and bling he had anticipated from the young Jedi. 

"Oh, you're here," Ben's voice held surprise as he came down the ramp. "You're early."

Hux approached the ship. "Punctuality is a virtue." 

Ben rolled his eyes, and then stared at the cage, whilst wiping his hands on his trousers. "What's this?"

Hux sighed and explained the situation wondering if Ben would end up allergic or something else that would put an end to the situation, but rather than any further questions Ben simply crouched down and put himself on Millicent's level.

"Careful, Ben. She doesn't always like new peop -"

But Millicent had come up to the edge of the cage and after a moment she was butting her nose through the medial against Solo's hands. Hux blinked. 

"I'm good with animals," Ben glanced up after giving Millicent a quick swish of his fingers. There was the briefest of grins at Hux, the sort of grin that teased butterflies at Hux's abdomen. Then Ben winked at him. "I just didn't expect that you were." He stood up, giving Hux a glance that felt almost cautious. "Let me show you where your bunk is on board while I let Fiver finish up the pre-take-off stuff."

If Hux hadn't known better he might have thought that Ben was nervous. Strangely, Hux wasn't uncertain that he wasn't also a bit anxious, which he told himself sternly there was no need for as he followed Ben up the ramp. There was no particular pressure on this trip. It was practical to accept Ben's offer, and after all, Hux had asked him specifically. Ben had accepted and offered to fly his own ship. A ship which was more than adequate to the occasion. The end. 

The bunk Hux was told he could store his stuff in was tiny, but he didn't need much space. He placed Millicent out on the bunk and was surprised when she stepped daintily out of the carrier and immediately went to sniff Ben's fingers. 

"She doesn't like strangers," Hux looked over at him, suspiciously. "Is this some Force thing?"

"Yes, and no," Ben shrugged. "I've always been good with animals. Even ones that most people can't really deal with. It is something that can be enhanced with the Force, but it's not something I'm doing right now. How long have you had her?"

"About four years now," Hux looked between the two of them, bewildered by Millicent's easy acceptance. Then again, the cat was part of the reason why he was here in the first place. Her and the Alderaanian woman. He ought to have expected this possibly. But the fact that Millicent had accepted him was enough to shake wings to flight in his chest. "Her name is Millicent, I don't think I said earlier. I'll probably try to keep her in here so she doesn't get into things."

"Probably the best," Ben ran fingers down the orange fur. "But if she gets out it's not the end of the things either. She might find some hiding places, but I'll probably be able to find her wherever she is." 

The two of them left Hux's small bunk, and Hux was shown to the main hold. The yacht probably carried ten passengers plus a droid alongside the pilot. There was enough space for passengers to spend some time fairly comfortably, about the size of Hux's living room minus the kitchen. Hux suspected there was a galley elsewhere in the ship based on the type. While he was looking around, Ben disappeared without a word and Hux was left wandering the small space unwilling to strap in for take-off quite so soon. 

He wondered if this had been Ben's ship for long - it felt well lived in and used - but it could also have simply been purchased used, or be a borrow, or it could be his parent's, Hux supposed. It was a reminder that he didn't really know much about this Jedi that was any different from that known by the galaxy at large. He'd spent some time looking things up, and he'd seen him on holo's but that was hardly knowing a person, and their conversations thus far had only teased at what might be under the surface. 

Hux supposed that he might get some idea what was under the surface on this trip. He had an interest in the Jedi that was bordering on unhealthy obsession, and if he could learn something bad about him, then that would be the end of it because Hux had always been more logical than emotional and he could talk himself out of this if that were the case. He had been about to go back to his bunk when Ben reappeared. Without a word Ben headed to the cockpit and left Hux standing wondering if he was supposed to follow. 

"Are you coming?" The question from the Cockpit answered this for him and Hux followed. "Do you know how to fly?" Ben asked him without looking up as he entered. 

It had been years since Hux had been required to fly anything other than a landspeeder. Certainly he didn't have his own ship and never had. But he didn't want to admit this to Ben who seemed to carry this type of prosperity without thinking about it. It was a privilege that Hux had never had, and it was the sort of thing that typically annoyed him. Why it didn't do so now probably said more about his ridiculous obsession with Ben than it did any personality changes that might have occurred. Looking over at Ben he nodded. "The basics." 

It was strictly speaking not a lie. He'd had a class or two. He'd been in a simulator. He knew the basics. 

Ben inclined his head towards the co-pilot's seat. "Go ahead then, but don't touch anything unless I say." 

Hux nodded, fastened his crash harness, and waited. 

It was possible he was going to get his lie tested, but he couldn't imagine that Ben couldn't fly the ship by himself when he hadn't asked before now if Hux had any piloting experience. Still as he watched Ben run through a series of pre-flight checks, he couldn't help the nerves in his stomach for the potential of a command that assumed he knew how to follow through on it. As it turned out he didn't do anything at all. Ben was able to fly by himself, with a few pieces of assistance from the astromech droid that had plugged in behind him, and Hux breathed a quiet sigh of relief as they jumped to hyperspace. 

It was now that Hux excused himself to practice and perfect his presentation. Ben followed him at some point after, but Hux was buried in the presentation itself, and chose to ignore him even when he came back into the main lounge where Hux was practicing. Ben seemed to respect this and settle into work of his own. Unfortunately this work was distracting. For a while Ben had meditated, but then he'd pulled out his lightsaber, from what Hux could tell beginning to run through a number of routines. When Hux had looked up with a frown Ben had disappeared for a while, to the cockpit presumably, but eventually he came back in and began once again running through a set of physical routines. 

At this point, Hux had been working for long enough that the distraction was proving to be fatal to his ability to move forward with his presentation. He buried in a bit further - perfectionism threatening him if he didn't get through the complete checklist that he had established for himself. However, after about ten minutes of lightsaber blazing brought all of this to a halt. Hux counted to five and then looked at him. "Must you do this here and now?" 

Ben blocked three blasts from the training droid with the violet blade, and closed it down with a shrug. "I can't sit still," he explained. "I've never been any good at it. I need a break. Look, I don't know what you're worried about," Ben offered, reaching a hand across to give a quick squeeze to Hux's arms. "You know all this stuff, yeah?" 

"Yes, but-" 

"Then you're going to do fine," Ben shrugged easily, sliding his lightsaber back onto his belt as he leaned over the table. "You've been working on this for days. You're good with all this plant stuff, and they know it or they wouldn't have asked you to come - just call all this preparation good. You're worse than my mom."

The comparison to Organa made Hux blink. "I'm nothing like your mother." 

"That's not what I mean," Ben shook his head. "What I mean is that she could be like this before a big speech, all turned in on herself and thinking through what she was going to say, but she's always articulate and knowledgeable, even if people don't always like her or what she's saying. And as someone who has sat on the outside of the 'I have to get this right' for most of his life - It gets old." 

"Well, you should have known I would need to do some of this," Hux refused to apologize for not meeting Ben's every whim. "And besides I asked you to come with me, not the other way around. There's no need to be cross about this when you knew what you were signing up for." 

Ben sighed and rolled his eyes. 

Hux frowned slightly. "What do you want me to do?" 

"Talk to me? Tell me about your Dad, or I don't know - why you invited me in the first place." 

"There's nothing particularly to talk about with the former," Hux said curtly. 

"Yeah, I call Bantha shit on that one," Ben threw back intently. "But fine, if you don't want the company then why invite me?" 

"Well," Hux frowned because he had wanted the company. Then there was the fact that Ben was rather nice on the eyes, and for whatever reason, Hux had taken a dive into trying on a role as a romantic. He was lonely, and Ben was intriguing, despite the aggravation he frequently presented. But Hux didn't know how to say any of these things without being exposed. "The Presentation is first thing," he pointed out. "The keynote, even. I will be more free to give company following it." 

"If you don't want company, then this feels pointless," Ben stated flatly. "Unless you were just trying to finagle a free ride."

"You bringing me was your idea, not mine," Hux pointed out. "You're really overthinking everything. Obviously I wanted your company or I wouldn't have invited you along. There are places are Hosnian Prime that sell Corellian caf." 

Ben watched him for a moment underneath thick dark eyebrows and then he shrugged and returned to the cockpit where he stayed for the rest of the journey much to Hux's relief. 

But he wasn't able to concentrate as much on his presentation as he would have liked. To begin with, it really was beginning to shape up and even if Ben's declaration that Hux would do fine was lacking any foundation to stand on, Ben wasn't wrong that Hux knew this information. He'd spent hours over the week working on it, shaping it, editing it, expanding it, and really it was pretty good. The fact that he was beginning to feel comfortable with it meant that it was easier for his mind to wander towards the cockpit and the man sitting in it. What had he been thinking really? 

Ben Solo. That's what he'd been thinking, even if he was loathe to admit to it. 

Ben was cocky, arrogant, and utterly unpredictable, but he also had sought Hux out several times. He was interested in Hux, and his gardens. He even seemed impressed by what Hux had been able to accomplish there. He asked about Hux's background, things nobody ever asked Hux about. It seemed like Ben might almost care. And Hux might almost want him too. The idea of company had been appealing. And the idea of Ben Solo's company had been particularly appealing. Did he need to have a rational explanation for everything? 

He pushed his fingers up to press against his forehead smoothing it gently as he considered this for a moment. It wasn't something he felt that he could say aloud, exactly, although probably Ben might already suspect it. If he didn't outright know it. He might be reading Hux's thoughts right now and simply having become too polite to say anything about it. 

_They're not open commodities,_ he thought aggressively into the open room. 

He half expected Ben's face to appear in the doorway with a snarky comment, but it didn't and maybe, somewhat miraculously, he'd hadn't been overheard through this lengthy side-trip into his motivations. This was a relief and almost a disappointment - a feeling Hux couldn't begin to comprehend - but neither emotion was allowed to stay for very long as Ben's voice came from the comm announcing their arrival in the Corellian system. 

Hux was tempted to take over the process of landing in the Coronet City ports, considering Ben's half-haphazard way or approaching the process. Only the realisation that his lack of experience would probably put him at an even level as Ben's lack of organization and that the other man was unlikely to allow that lack of experience to go without comment kept his lips sealed throughout the process. After they landed, Hux returned to his bunk to check on Millicent, found her curled up and blinking lazily at him from the bunk, seemingly nonplussed at the travel. He filled her food and water dishes, promised her that he would return to check on her the next day, and then he and Ben had simply walked off of the ship in a disembarking process far simpler than what would have been the case on a commercial passenger freighter. 

Hux could feel his mood improving. They were on Corellia, they would get checked into the hotel, he could run through his presentation once more, and he would almost certainly be where he was intended to be in the morning. But where Hux had lost his edge of irritability having landed it seemed to have transferred to Ben. 

The Jedi had seemed excited and restless for the entire trip. To the point that it had bordered on irritating. But now he was quiet, answering Hux's questions in monosyllables, his eyes mostly on the streets and buildings his side of the speeder. And unlike Ben could do with him, Hux had no ability to determine what Ben's mood shift had been caused by. They'd said nothing of any import during the landing cycle, Hux had even kept his opinions to himself, so he shouldn't have angered him at all. He sighed lightly. Outside of the ease of departure and arrival he didn't think he could qualify this trip as any sort of success. It might not be an abysmal failure, but perhaps this middling lack of anything was only more of a disappointment. Perhaps he'd been hoping for some dramatic sign that this was obviously meant to be, or it wasn't, and that was a romantic enough idea that it threatened to turn Hux's mood sour as well. 

The speeder pulled up in front of the hotel and they exited, Hux reaching over to pay the speeder driver, before they stepped into the lobby of the Coronet City Suites.

It was a splendid hotel in a style that would have been popular in the Old Republic. It was all far too opulent really for Hux's tastes, reminding him of things he would never have come into contact with outside of his mother's work, but it had provided him with easy proximity to the conference center and so he had put up with the nonsense. He approached the desk with what he hoped looked like professional purchase and addressed the droid there. 

"Armitage Hux, I have a reservation." 

A droid considered him and turned to the screen in front of him. "Yes, here you are sir. You'll be on the twenty fourth floor, incidentals on the credit on file?"

"That's fine," Hux reached for the keycard. Incidentals were not within his budget but he suspected they would want something on file. 

"Ben Solo," Ben said as he stepped up behind Hux. 

"Do you have a reservation sir?" 

"Yeah, I called it in last week." 

There was silence as the droid looked, and then he tilted his head apologetically. "I'm sorry sir, we have nothing with that name, would it be under another?" 

"You don't have it?" 

The droid was unphased by the dangerous edge that Solo's voice seemed to have suddenly taken on. "If you have another name I could look for it under, but there is nothing with that name."

"This is ridiculous," Ben raised himself to his full height, his tone turning terse. "I called it in. Just give me another room then." 

"There are none available tonight." 

"You don't have-" 

Hux reached out, putting his hand on Ben's arm, a gesture that seemed to pull the man back to the moment and his head turned to stare at Hux. For a moment Hux hesitated, his original words frozen under the chocolate brown eyes boring into his and looking as if he could take his lightsaber to the droid in front of him. There was no reason that dangerous look should have intrigued him so, and he was likely going to end up regretting the words he was about to say, but he also hadn't asked Ben to accompany him to have the other man at the ship or another hotel altogether. 

"There's a pull-out bed in mine. Just stay with me." 

Ben seemed to weigh this option, possibly weigh the satisfaction he would get from yelling at the droid for having lost his reservation and then shifted weight from one foot to another. "Are you sure?" 

"We'll get to know each other," Hux declared as if he were utterly certain about his decision. "Isn't that why we're doing this? For company? Just none of that lightsaber stuff you were doing earlier. I will need to practice tonight."


	10. Chapter 10

Hux wasn't used to another person in his space. The fact that the other person was a man he could no longer deny finding attractive brought an awkwardness to the situation that Hux couldn't avoid. The options however, had been to invite him here, or send him back to the ship and the ride hadn't been a short one, so sending him back to the ship seemed also awkward. 

The fact that his room was about the size of his apartment on Hosnian Prime was not lost on him. He couldn't help but wonder what Ben was used to staying in with his parents - something larger, possibly. Although this room was significantly larger than what Hux usually would have stayed in. Typically when he attended these things he would stay in a hotel elsewhere from the conference, something inexpensive and frankly a little shady. This time he'd chosen to treat himself, due to the fact that he was receiving a small stipend of honor from the organization and the fact that he had been requested to do a keynote presentation, and he was glad he had. 

While it wasn't any larger than Hux's apartment, it was a large room for a hotel. It contained one large space with a private refresher unit off to the side. The large bed sat near the window furthest from the door with a half-wall divider between it and what was essentially a small living space. The fold-out bed was in this living space, and Hux hadn't given much thought to it being available when he'd booked the room, but at the moment he was grateful for it. The fold-out sofa faced a small kitchenette with an instant food heater and a refrigeration unit and a sink. It was way more than he needed for his stay, and would have been beyond adequate for just himself, but he couldn't help wishing that the half-wall divider was a complete one and that the room was divided into two, with privacy outside of the small refresher unit. It couldn't be helped though, and there was no sense in whining about it. 

Ben entered behind him, sat his bag down by the door, and after using the refresher offered to go out for a while so Hux could practice his presentation if he wanted. 

"Are you sure?" Hux asked, mostly from politeness. The idea of running through his presentation sans Solo felt like a breath of fresh air. The man was too distracting and he'd been wondering if it was polite to leave and go to a tapcaf while at the same time wondering if he could actually run through a presentation adequately in public. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ben waved a hand. "I distracted you on the ship and I couldn't help that much cause there was nowhere else to go, but here there's the whole of Coronet city. I can even bring you food back from the cantina downstairs if you'd like," Ben offered as he straightened his hood on the robe and paused by the door. 

"Are you eating now?" Hux asked, caught between a sudden urge to go with Ben if that was the case and the relief he'd felt just momentarily before when Ben had said he was leaving. He seriously needed to get his emotions under control.

"Well, I was going to walk for a bit, and then come back and eat." 

That combined the best of both worlds, really. Hux could practice alone, and join him for dinner later. "I could just join you after your walk," Hux suggested. "Unless you'd prefer to eat alone." 

Ben's lips turned up into a smile. "Nah, comm me when you're done." 

Hux was left staring at the door as Ben closed it after he exited, with Solo's smile burned into his memory. Any strangeness about his facial features seemed to melt away into just absolute beauty when he smiled. 'Get a grip,' he told himself, although the chiding was losing its heat and he couldn't keep a smile off his own face as he turned to access his datapad. 

He went through the entire presentation half alloud, half silently, pacing the length of the bedroom back and forth, standing in front of the mirror, in front of the window, and rereading particularly challenging parts. His goal was to have it well enough in hand that that he would not need to look at his notes throughout the presentation, or if he did, it would be only an instantaneous reminder of where he should be. 

The light in the room shifted from the warmth of afternoon to the golden warmth of evening as he worked. As he completed the second run through his stomach growled, so he sat the datapad down on the small desk. A second rumbling prompted a switching off of the datapad and reaching for the commlink.

"I just came back in and got a seat," Ben's voice crackled over the comm. "I'll order you a drink, come join me." 

Hux agreed and stood before turning to glance at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like someone who had traveled from Hosnian Prime to the Corellian system in the last twenty-four hours. With a quick sigh, he stepped into the refresher and took a moment to wash his face and quickly comb through his hair with a touch of product. He stared at his reflection and after a moment he turned around and dug through his duffel for a new shirt, changing it quickly wondering if Ben would even notice? Did he want him to notice? Hux rolled his eyes at himself and pulled the jacket on over the shirt. "Get a grip," he murmured out loud and he left the room. 

The cantina downstairs was well populated and it took him a moment in the dark to spot Solo, tucked into a corner booth with a drink in front of him. He straightened his shoulders and walked across the room, meeting Ben's eyes over the drink as he approached. 

"I got you a Corellian whiskey," Ben grinned. 

"Are you trying to get me drunk the day before I give the most important speech of my life thus far?" Hux queried as he slid into the booth across from the other man. 

"One whiskey is going to get you drunk?" Ben raised his eyebrows. 

"I am neither a Corellian nor a Jedi," Hux pointed out, considering the glass in front of him. He took a sip and looked over at Ben who was watching him expectantly. "It's good," he admitted and added another sip to it.

"Of course it is," Ben's features settled back into a grin. "Are you ready?" 

"I'd like to do one more practice run tonight, but I think I'm getting there." 

Ben offered the menu and ordering station to Hux, and suggested one of the traditional dishes. "If you don't mind a bit of grease," he shrugged. "Because chances are in some place like this, it'll have grease." 

"It's a Cantina," Hux stated. "Even with it being attached to a fancy hotel like this one, I would anticipate some grease on everything." 

"The Chef is suddenly offended right now and he doesn't know why," Ben smirked. 

Hux shook his head, but a smile pressed into his features despite himself. "Where did you go walking?" 

"Around," Ben shrugged. "It's been awhile since I've been in Coronet City. I'd like to say it's changed and improved, but I'm not sure that's true."

"I'm not certain Corellian culture is a match for me," Hux offered slowly. "But most of the galaxy would say Coronet City has a great deal of culture to explore."

"It's not that," Ben shook his head. "There's just always this… attitude here… I don't know. And they've not gotten rid of their more problematic groups. I've seen graffiti in at least three places that CorSec should be patrolling more regularly." 

Hux put the order in for his food and considered Ben's statement. While he noticed graffiti it wasn't something he would have considered Ben to worry about. But something about it made him wonder if he should ask directly, so instead he took another tiny sip of the whiskey and offered: "I don't know much about Corellian history. This is my first time in the system." 

"After the Empire, there were groups that took up with the idea of the Force, but not just the Force, they worshiped the Dark Side," Ben hesitated as if he was going to say more but instead he picked up his drink. "They've caused some problems in galactic history, not just in Coronet City, but sometimes I wonder if it doesn't flourish here because of the way they secure things, or rather don't." 

"I wouldn't have put you in for someone who wanted law and order." 

Ben frowned and shifted uncomfortably. "Corellians are too prone to doing whatever the kriff they want and not considering anyone else." 

Hux wrapped his hand around the small shot of whiskey, this time downing the remaining bits in a more practiced swallow. The motion gave him the courage to ask: "Your father?" 

Ben's eyes darted up, meeting Hux's gaze, but he didn't say anything. 

"You can't beat Daddy issues," Hux shrugged. "There's no point in trying." 

"He raced things, a lot. And he was gone most of the time," Ben wrapped his hand around his own mug and he stared into the liquid in it. "He brought me here once, I was ten, and it was supposed to be our trip, but he spent most of it trying to court backers for one of his races. I think he honestly thought that including me on that _was_ spending time." He pressed his lips together and then glanced over. "Your turn." 

"My father was an Imperial," Hux pointed out. He wasn't certain that there was really any more to be said, but when he looked up, Ben was watching him so he frowned and considered the empty shot glass. "I don't really remember him. When Arkanis was in danger of falling my mother ran. She wasn't his wife, and while I was his only heir at the time, I doubt he would have ever let me forget I wasn't legitimate." 

"I didn't think that mattered to the Empire." 

"To the Empire? No. I sincerely doubt it would have. But to Brendol Hux?" 

"Do you wish you'd stayed with him?" 

Hux barked a mirthless laugh. "Only when I'm feeling particularly masochistic." 

The food arrived, and the conversation fell silent for a moment as they accepted the food, reached for utensils, and took first bites. 

"Mostly I wonder who I would have become if I'd stayed. If I'd had that choice." 

"No one who would have anything to do with me," Ben raised an eyebrow as he pushed a piece of local seafood onto the fork. "I can't say I'm too terribly sorry you're not off wherever the Empire ran to." 

Hux took a bite of his own food, even as Ben's gaze sped up his heart, leaving him to wonder if it was not pounding so loudly that surely Ben could hear it and would comment on it. "You just like my lilies," Hux threw out casually, trying to pull his heart back under control. 

"I told you; it's you that improves the view." 

Their eyes met over the table and Hux swallowed at the intensity of the man across from him. Finally he opened his lips, and while he wanted to read casual, he was barely keeping his voice steady. "Is this your way of saying not to send you buckets of lilies to try to recreate your meditation spot elsewhere?" 

"Maybe I'm saying you need to deliver them yourself." 

"Is that an open invitation to bring you flowers?" 

Ben grinned, a crooked, beautiful grin, that did nothing to help the state of Hux's heart. "As long as they're ones you grow yourself." 

That smile and those eyes should be an illegal combination. They kept him from coming up with any real response except to become very intent upon eating the food on his plate. 

Ben didn't pursue the conversation further, asking him something about the presentations for the convention and whether he would be attending others that weren't his. 

The rest of the meal then fell into conversation about gardening and plants, and Hux found himself relating a bit of how he had gotten into it in the first place, something that Ben seemed to connect with. They followed the meal with a mug of Corellian Ale which was drunk slowly, around these conversations as the cantina filled with the after dinner crowd, and the lights were dimmed for the evening visitors. 

Hux relaxed into the talk and for once Ben seemed to be neither dismissive nor particularly critical. Perhaps the alcohol was making Ben more good natured, or perhaps it had nothing to do with that and it was just the setting - away from what both of them would normally have to think about. 

After they had settled the bill, they both walked out of the cantina and towards the lift. Ben at his side felt pleasant; warm, comfortable even and these were sensations Hux wasn't quite certain what to do with. Maybe it was just the after affect of the Ale which may have had more of an effect on him than he'd realized it was going to have. Hux drank, and he wasn't a light-weight exactly, but at the same time, Corellians were known for their alcohols and Hux didn't know them specifically. Maybe, he thought, resting his hands against the railing on the back of the lift as Ben spoke the floor numbers, he should have just had the whiskey. 

"Are you going to practice again tonight?" 

"The presentation?" Hux turned his head to look at Ben, admiring the profile of the man he was sharing space with on this trip. He was half aware of the admiration being problematic. Then again, he already couldn't imagine having made the trip alone. This also felt problematic. 

"Yeah," Ben turned his head to look at him also. "You'd said you wanted to do another run through." 

"It's later than I was thinking it would be," Hux considered. "Maybe I should though." 

"You could in the morning right?" 

He nodded. He could in the morning, and he wasn't certain if that meant Ben wanted to sleep tonight, or if there was something else he was hoping to do this evening. His mind was not particularly helpful in filling in details of things that they could do this evening as they rode the remaining three floors in silence. Reminding himself that Ben had a tendency to 'overhear' his thoughts - assuming it wasn't active attempts to overhear them - he tried not to think about them. 

At least he had brought actual pyjamas with him so he wouldn't be sleeping in his underwear. Hopefully Ben had done the same, although Hux realized that Ben struck him as the type that might just strip down to sleep company be damned. And Hux most certainly didn't need to see that. Obviously not thinking about it was working incredibly well. He could only hope that Ben was otherwise preoccupied with his thoughts. If he wasn't, Hux supposed, at least he wasn't interjecting his thoughts on Hux's internal monologue. 

"We could order room service tomorrow," Ben suggested as the doors slid open. He took a step out and then turned back slightly, waiting for Hux to join him. "That way you'd have more time to do practice if you need it." 

There was something almost undeniably sweet about Ben's worry, but Hux half thought if he was going to run through the presentation one more time, it should be tonight. He shared this with Ben, as he fumbled in his pocket for the keycard. "We could go out for caf before. I'll take you someplace so that you can have real Corellian Caf." 

Ben stopped outside the door and looked down at him. "It's a date." 

The words had a strange effect in his chest. Was it a date? Was that what this whole evening had been, just undefined as such? This entire trip even? He'd asked a man to come with him for a weekend with the entire purpose being to buy him a cup of real Corellian Caf - something he likely could have found someplace on Hosnian Prime and without all of this intimacy and closeness. Was there anything more 'date'-like than that? He'd been telling himself this entire time that he simply wanted the company, that the flowers meant nothing, that he'd been spooked by the dream, and that had led to overly emotionally attaching to the Alderaanian woman in the garden leading him to do something that was probably somewhat rash, really -

A hand covered his own, startling Hux out of his current thought process and doing nothing for the sense that his heart might beat out of his chest. The hand closed around his, even though the keycard was grasped between his fingers and Hux brought his gaze upwards. Ben's face was closer to him than it had been a moment before, closer to him than it had ever been, and Hux could see that there were flecks of amber in his otherwise dark eyes, and a mole over his lip and somehow he'd never noticed either of these details before. And it seemed ridiculous to notice those details now when Ben's full lips were lingering so very near his own. 

This had all been a date. 

A long, ridiculously drawn out (and potentially more dangerous to his self-efficacy) reenactment of his typical hook-up, only instead of it being over in twenty-four hours that desire to taste those lips had lingered across _days_. Words bubbled up with a need to burst free even though he couldn't find any way to string them together sensibly as he pulled his hand lose, to slide the key into the door lock even as he felt Ben's eyes on him still. 

Ben was too close, and this entire charade was falling in on itself. Hux wasn't certain he was ready for that because this had taken weeks to get to, and it threatened to last for weeks after anything that could happen tonight. Weeks in which he could get attached and be distracted by the same pull that kept his gaze longing to meet Ben's once more and in which he wouldn't move forward to any goal whatsoever..Unless... maybe he could do more, because this was the same man who had just offered him room service so that he could practice again so he could feel comfortable doing a presentation, and so he could _succeed_.

The key card was in the lock; he could push the door open so they could move into the room they were sharing together, and this entire moment could be broken, and they could move forward into the next moment and whatever it brought, but Hux hesitated instead glancing back up into the face so near his own. Ben moistened his lips and Hux swallowed and the distance closed between them, as Ben dropped his lips and Hux lifted his profile towards him, drawn into it like a flower turning towards the sun. 

There was a tight pull in his back as his eyes closed and lips met. Hux shifted to loosen it, the result being that he could put a hand up to grasp Ben's side as their noses bumped, and their lips collided with greater intention. Hux could taste the ale on Ben's lips, and they were a good height against each other, and he felt Ben's hand slide firm against his back so that he could pull away if he'd wanted to. 

The key card began an obnoxious beeping noise, warning Hux that he'd left it in too long, and the pressure of Ben's hand against his back was momentarily gone, leaving Hux to want to protest the loss of it even as Ben stepped seemed to more purposefully lay claim to Hux's lips. Hux could hear rather than see the card flip half-way across the hall before the hand returned, pulling him nearer with more purpose, and Hux's own hand slid up between dark curls, the taste of ale, and pressure of lips threatening to fill up the entirety of his sensory intake. 

Hux gave himself over to it opening his mouth a bit wider so that a tongue from Ben's could dart along the lines of Hux's lips, and like the hand it felt confident and firm. 

Hux didn't want to have to breathe, he wondered how long Ben could go without breathing. Would his Force abilities allow him to continue past when Hux would be able to keep kissing without becoming lightheaded?  
The answer to that question came as Ben pulled back, his breath coming heavily. "Is that yes to the date?" 

The loss of pressure and heat against his lips created a protest that Hux didn't want to give voice to. He pulled himself back just enough to look up into Ben's eyes and he reached a free hand up to straighten his own hair just a bit. "I - yes." 

"Unless we're already on one," Ben suggested, his hand still firm against Hux's back. 

Hux's tongue darted out to moisten his lips even if was largely unnecessary. While he struggled for words, Ben only smirked. 

"You should get that card key." Ben's eyes darted to where it had flown and landed a few feet behind them. 

"It's your fault it's over there," Hux pointed out, trying to reorient himself with what had just happened, with what might happen when he picked up the card key and they went in the room. 

"Oh, my fault, is it?" 

"Yes," Hux straightened his jacket slightly. "Obviously it's your fault." He was about to turn as the card whipped past him and he blinked. 

Ben was grinning while he held the card between two fingers. With his hand he flipped it over, then extended it for Hux to use. "I didn't hear you complaining." 

Because the only real complaint Hux had in the moment was that the moment had passed. And that somehow he'd managed to invite a man on a date, while convincing himself that it was anything but. Had he fooled anyone else with his opinions and ideas? He pulled himself up and hall-snapped back at Ben. "Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying confident, and… egotistical!? I'm not impressed with whatever Force nonsense that was."

"Oh, I'm the egotistical one!" Ben chuckled, seemingly unphased by the sudden shift in Hux's gone. He leaned forward and his words were kept low enough to be only for Hux's ears. "You'll _be_ impressed." 

Something settled low in Hux's stomach at those words and threatened to pull him in once again for another kiss. He swallowed once more and snatched the card from Ben's fingers and focused in on the doorframe and the lock. The door slid open and he stepped into the hotel room trying only to settle his heartbeat into something that would not be so loud and so rapid that Ben would pick up on it. Hux suspected that this attempt would prove impossible. Even someone who wasn't a Jedi must not be able to help but pick up on it. 

Hux stepped in and put the keycard down. If he turned back around he was going to want to be kissed again, so instead he turned slightly. "I should practice…"

"You sure you don't want to do it in the morning," Ben said, stepping in past the door and walking up towards him once again and Hux could feel the gaze on his back. 

"We have… a breakfast date… so." 

"You could do it before breakfast." 

"I already explained that I'd rather not outperform myself in a mirror the morning before I do a presentation. And besides, what else is there to do before we sleep?" 

It was a pathetic question, considering that Hux knew what else could be done. Ben knew what else could be done. And it seemed likely they both wanted it. The kiss had weakened his resolve. He didn't usually kiss like that, he didn't usually kiss one-night-stands much at all. And this was why, it was too intimate, too… personal. Perhaps he was attributing too much to the kiss, perhaps he'd had too much to drink after all. 

But Hux knew what too much to drink felt like, although he hadn't been at that point often before, and he could play that card now, but he'd drunk his ale slowly over the course of an evening, and this wasn't what too much felt like. At least not what too much alcohol felt like. It might be what too much Ben Solo felt like with the pleasant buzz that that told him he really wanted it, and why was he digging his feet in and costing himself the chance?

"Should I pull out the tuckaway bed?"

Hux turned around. Ben was watching him. Ben had stepped forward, but no more since the first movement, but he'd been watching Hux this entire time. The question held the same promise that Ben had made before - that if Hux told him to go, he would go, and he wouldn't come back. Ben's eyes felt almost like a caress of their own and Hux wondered if that was the Force. 

Against the wall a long sofa with a tuckaway bed sat waiting for them to pull out a coffee table and make room for it. There were two beds in this one room. If he were smart, he'd say yes. 

"There's a bed made already."

"Is it big enough for two?" This time Ben did step forward, and Hux straightened his shoulders, taking a step forward of his own. 

"There's plenty of space," Hux's heart was beating wildly again, a percussion background to the rush of emotion that was flushing through him. This was precisely what he'd wanted when he'd invited Ben with him, and maybe it didn't matter if this was all it was, he wanted to know what sex with a Jedi was like - and particularly - _this_ Jedi.

"It's big enough for two wookiees even," Ben's lips turned up in a small smirk as Hux stepped towards him. "It's going to be way too large for you and I." 

This time it was Hux that closed the gap between them while one hand slid around Ben's neck and up into his hair. He was big, and it was easier to tell this up front, easier still when Ben's arms wrapped around his back, and then down lower, his hands cupping Hux's ass and then gently grabbing it, pulling him upwards in a recommendation for Hux to wrap his legs around Ben's waist and be carried back towards the very large bed the two of them had as their set. 

Hux was lean, but he was tall, and being picked up and then laid out on the bed wasn't something he'd ever considered as a part of his life story, but as he grabbed the lapels of Ben's jacket to hold-on to him so he wouldn't get too far away, he thought idly that a few surprises in one's story might not be too bad. He claimed Ben's lips as he pushed the jacket off his shoulders, and Ben rested one knee on the bed, his shoulders shrugging in beat with Hux's push, and the leather jacket was discarded on the floor. 

Ben slid a hand around to cup Hux's neck, and rested his other knee between Hux's legs, moving the knee slightly up, and finding friction against Hux's hardening dick. He mumbled his approval of this into Ben's thick lips as he teased at them. 

"You're wearing too much," Ben pulled back long enough to say, his hands shifting from Hux's body to the shirt he was wearing. 

"You're a Jedi, can't you do something about it?" Hux's hands found Ben's ass, and pulled it in, discovering additional friction of Ben's thigh against his dick for his trouble. 

"That's not how the Force works," Ben countered, his eyes widening slightly as he realized how hard Hux was. 

Ben's hands reached for fastens on Hux's trousers, and Hux lifted his hips up as Ben pulled them down, leaving him in nothing but briefs. Hux could see Ben's eyes drift downward to his crotch, and there was a rush of heat at the blatant staring and objectification Ben seemed to be allowing himself to partake in. He reached for the top buttons of his shirt, and the cream colored linen was pulled off over his shoulders leaving him bare chested and it was Hux's turn to stare. 

The layers that Ben had worn with his Jedi robes had given Hux plenty of room for imagination, but he hadn't done Ben justice. Ben's size wasn't just the width of his shoulders, it was supported in the definition of his muscles across his chest. Broad and well built, Hux reached up a hand to trace the lines of those muscles and when he looked back up at Ben it was to find him grinning one of his lopsided grins. 

"You like that." 

"Now you're wearing too much. 

"You've got your pants off, I've got my shirt off, we're even." 

"Like hell we're even," Hux tugged on Ben's side, urging him down towards him, even as he shifted back further onto the bed to give the Jedi room to join him. As he shifted backwards his hands moved to Ben's belt, tugging that as well. 

The enthusiasm gained him Ben, who moved one knee further onto the bed, and then slid across it next to Hux, a massive arm sliding underneath the hem of Hux's shirt, as his lips once again found Hux's. 

"You're beautiful, and you're demanding," Ben murmured "And I can't think of a better combination."

"Kiss me," was the only reply that Hux could think of to this, as his fingers worked along the edge of Ben's belt, trying to find enough of an inch to work their way underneath to the skin he knew lay there. If Ben was this large on top, what would he be underneath the rest of his clothing? Hux's dick twitched in response to his expectations of this question, and that gained Hux the pleasure of Ben's knee pushing between his once again. 

"And you're greedy and impatient," Ben muttered in his ear before pressing his lips to the warm skin underneath his earlobe. "You'd make a terrible Jedi. You can't even wait." 

"I leave being a good Jedi to you," he breathed out, his breath catching at the end of the sentence as a palm had found his groin and pressed down against it. 

"Who said I was a good Jedi?" Ben chuckled in between another string of kisses.

"Shut up," Hux's fingers gave up on polite, and instead, slid around to the front to open the buckle, the trousers underneath it, and slide their way down into underwear even before he could see, to feel the nest of hair, and the base of a long shaft that was already hard, and the sharp intake of breath from Ben was the only thing Hux needed to give himself into the image of Ben's cock in him. He pulled the pants over a well formed ass with determination, and then his fingers found Ben's hipbones, and pulled them nearer so their dicks could touch as he muttered:. "We'll see just how good you are."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raise your hand if after this week you just want a dose of fluff? Anyone? 
> 
> Yeah, here you go. I'm sorry it's short, but the next one should be a little longer. Enjoy!

There was a weight over his back that was too heavy to be a blanket. Hux shifted under it, curling his toes as his eyes fluttered awake, and about the time the light flickered into his eyes he realized that he was not in the bed alone. The weight wasn't a blanket, it was an arm, a large arm, and it lay somewhere between suffocating and comforting. He froze underneath it trying to determine without turning over if the owner of the arm was also awake. 

"I am," Ben's voice was a low rumble, more at ease than Hux had really heard him thus far.

"Stop doing that." 

"That's not what you were saying last night." 

A sense of irritation seized Hux and he turned over to face the man in bed with him. Ben's face lay on the pillow, and he hadn't moved his arm, other than to lift it slightly and then put it back down across Hux when he had resettled facing him. He mostly looked amused and Hux as struck with the undeniable urge to smack him. 

"You are still in my head." 

"When will you understand that it's not like that?" Ben responded, his eyes rolling. "I mean, can it be like that, yes. But I'm not trying with you. With you it's like - my eyes are open so I see your hair is red, or that you've got a frown on your face, and that you're a little put out. I'd have to close them to not see that. I'd have to completely turn off the Force to not get some sense of what you're thinking." 

Hux really didn't know anything about the Force. The Jedi were wizards, and they did things normal people couldn't. They had been detrimental to the galaxy, according to most wisdom that Hux had been given over his life. But this man didn't feel particularly detrimental to the galaxy, just to Hux's sanity, maybe. And even as he was annoyed with Ben, he couldn't help but notice how his hair fell over the pillow, completely wild and possibly uncontrollable. What was he doing? What had he done by having sex with him? He didn't have sex with people, not in his bed, not in any sense where a connection might be formed in even a superficial way. Having breakfast with him the next morning - something they had already promised to do - was beyond anything that Hux had ever committed to doing with anyone, but he'd made that commitment last night when he'd chosen to pull them into bed together. 

But here he was with someone who could do things he couldn't, had powers he didn't understand, and who exercised them carelessly and with a priviledge that Hux could never equal. And perhaps it was this as much as anything that really frustrated him. This unevenness in ability and life that he couldn't hope to match. Hux had eyes and he could see Ben's dark hair, he could see muscles, but he couldn't see what Ben was thinking. He had no access to the Force, no access to anything about Ben's mental or emotional state outside of what he could read on Ben's face. 

"I should practice," he grabbed at the opportunity to stop the conversation before it could really go any further and before he needed to dig deeper into what this was. Breakfast was liable to be uncomfortable enough as it was. 

He'd thought Ben might protest, but he didn't, and as Hux put his feet over the edge of the bed and sat up, reaching for his discarded trousers, he dared to glance back at Ben. 

The other man was watching him, and he hadn't moved, but the certain cockiness that had been there the night before had evaporated like morning dew when the sun hits it. The look on Ben's face gave Hux pause. 

"If we're going to get breakfast in," he said. "You should maybe shower or whatever while I'm practicing." 

"Is everything a series of well-defined events to you?" Ben sat up, shifting to rest his back against the headboard while the sheets and covers pooled around his waist. 

"I'm just being practi-"

"Right, practical. Last night wasn't practical, so I guess sometimes you give into impractical." Ben seemed as if he was answering his own question, which left Hux wondering why they were even having the conversation. 

"Do what you want," Hux said dismissively as he moved to figure out where he had left his datapad the night before. 

"Do you want me to go back to the ship?" 

Hux froze halfway to the roll out bed they'd decided it was a good idea to ignore. There was an instant where he wanted to turn around and say yes, but it was swallowed by a resounding wave of absolutely not. Which was wiser, he couldn't have said, but when it came to what he wanted -- it was for Ben to stay. Mix-ups and mistakes aside, the dinner, the after dinner, the everything about this weekend was more than he'd anticipated, and enough that he wanted to last. He had no idea how to put that in words, however, and perhaps he didn't even need to considering Ben could apparently pick up on his whims and moods without him having to use his voice. 

There was the sound of a sigh behind him, and he turned to see Ben stand up. He hadn't bothered to put on trousers, or indeed anything. He just stood there without clothing, and it was all Hux could do to keep his eyes up and not drifting down the well defined chest to dark hair, and thick legs and a beautiful dick. He managed, somehow, but Ben didn't say anything or continue the conversation, only walked to the refresher, the door shut behind him, and Hux was left in the room alone with his thoughts and a presentation he'd wanted to practice once more. 

It took him about thirty seconds to realize that practicing the presentation wasn't going to work. Oh, he _could_ of course, but what was going to be more essential to him giving a powerful presentation this afternoon, would be him getting Ben Solo out of his head, which wasn't going to happen while he stared at a datapad and pretended to go through the motions of practicing a speech. For a moment he stared at the wall and then he reached for a shirt and a jacket to go with the trousers, and hair done or not, he left the room. 

Standing in line at the nearest tapcaf gave him time to think without the possibility of Ben's presence suddenly interrupting him. 

Hux would be lying if he didn't just admit that he'd really wanted what he'd taken last night. And it had been offered to him willingly and it had been... nice. Hux couldn't remember the last time he'd been touched by anyone, and Ben's touch had been particularly warm. It had felt like something that he could lose himself into: wrapped up in a safe place where he might be able to stay. And he could remember thinking as he'd drifted asleep the night before that he never wanted to move from it. Sore or not, it was not just pleasure, it was something more akin to comfort or security, and Hux wanted to hold onto it. He wanted to keep the way Ben's eyes rolled when he said something that Ben found ridiculous, or the way he gave him secret smiles. He wanted to keep the unpredictability of mood and the surprises that Ben seemed to inevitably interject within his life.

It couldn't last, and Hux continued to tell himself that. Either that Ben wouldn't want the same things, or that he'd get tired of Hux. They were from two different worlds, and it wasn't just Arkanis and Hosnian Prime that Hux meant, it was Empire and Rebellion, gardener and Jedi, emotions and stoicism, and how had they found any common ground? But it was there, nonetheless, in the small agreements on the galaxy, or the way Ben had asked questions. Ben had offered him support and encouragement and no one else did that - not even his mother, whom, to be fair he hadn't seen in the nearly three years since he'd left for the garden position at Hosnian Prime, but she didn't offer that sort of encouragement - no one did. 

Hux arrived at the counter and stopped to consider his order. He had no idea how Ben liked his caf, only that he'd promised him good Corellian caf. After a moment he ordered a light roast that promised hints of chocolate and fruit, and himself a darker roast that promised bold, nutty tones, with a steamed milk in each, and then stepped aside to wait while they were made.

Really, the decision had been made last night, and even if it had been made with a bit too much Corellian liquor in his system, it had been made. He now had a different set of choices: the choice of telling Ben to find his own room tonight, or the choice of letting him stay. He could clear his mind, put himself into a determined sort of emotional control and try to enjoy the breakfast they'd promised each other, or he could pull out of it. 

His order was called and he stepped up to get the two cups of caf. 

Hux stepped away from the counter, two cups in his hand and looking down at them he decided it might be inevitable that breakfast was going to happen. Maybe it had been inevitable from the moment they had ended up in the same room together. 

He took his time walking the short distance back to the hotel where they were staying as his thoughts warred out in his mind. There were the potential negatives of having someone who could pick up on his thoughts and moods so easily, but then it seemed like there could be positives to that. After all, if he really wanted dinner and was too lazy to cook it, maybe Ben could realize he was hungry and just bring him a bantha burger. The mild absurdity of this brought a smile to his lips as he walked into the lobby. Ben would probably do it too. And he could see the face, grinning, with that look in his eyes that dared Hux to call him out. 

Hux sighed, spoke the floor of their room to the lift and leaned back against the wall while it moved. 

"Get a grip," he murmured to himself even as he was reminded that he'd gotten a very good grip last night and that was genuinely 99% of the problem this morning. 

He entered the room again and Ben looked up from the sofa where he'd opened his bag. He was still wearing only a towel, curls damp and tousled, and his eyes darted between Hux's face and the caf, and then back to his face. 

"I thought you were practicing." 

"I decided I need caf more," Hux was pleased to note he was keeping his eyes on Ben's face, and not his torso. "And I promised you _decent_ Corellian Caf, so this seemed as good a time as any to make-good on that promise." 

Ben smiled just a bit and pulled a shirt over his head before stepping forward to take the offered cup. 

"If this isn't any better than what my Dad gives me, you know I'm going to think you just have terrible taste in caf?"

"Try it before you knock it," Hux couldn't help an answering smirk of his own. "You're such a skeptic." 

"Nah, I'm not the skeptic. I wouldn't steal that title from you," Ben answered with a teasing set of raised eyebrows, and then he lifted the cup to his lips. 

Hux watched him take a sip, swish it, and swallow it, and that had nothing to do with the cheeks or the adam's apple that moved as he did so. The expression on Ben's face was thoughtful, and then he took another sip, repeating the motion. 

"Well?" Hux found himself holding his own caf in hand, waiting for Ben's review. 

"This isn't as burnt," Ben looked over, almost as if he was questioning his own review. "It's lighter." 

"Very good - it promised chocolates and florals, but it'll be up to you whether you think it delivers." 

"Floral maybe, something about the scent almost…" Ben put the cup down on the table and then nodded his head to Hux's cup. "Do you have the same thing?" 

"No I went darker than yours - I wasn't certain how bitter you liked it. Plus you're a Jedi, maybe you aren't allowed dark things." 

Ben snorted indelicately. "Go get showered so we have time to do breakfast." 

Hux grinned and raised his cup to his lips to take another sip as he turned away to his own bag, pulling out the day's clothing before he went into the refresher. Maybe tomorrow morning, if today went well enough, he'd let Ben see him in a towel.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter (or maybe two... we'll see how the final edit works out!) to go. In the meantime I hope you enjoy the continuing ridiculous shenanigans of these two.

By the time breakfast was completed, Hux had almost put out of his mind the fact that he'd woken up naked next to the man across from him. 

Almost. 

More than once Ben had reached across the table to brush his fingers against Hux's hand, only to pull it back to take another bite, and the familiarity of it could almost make Hux believe that this wasn't their first time for any of it: the trip, the sex, the breakfast together, and now the one last cup of caf before he gathered up his badge, his datapad, and a few other things to go to the convention itself.

Home had been a foreign concept to Hux his entire life. There was the home he'd left behind as a boy. It was a mystical place where his parents still spoke to each other and he was cared for. That make-belief home disregarded the reality of his father's disinterest or criticism - brief things he barely remembered but told a less fictional story about what that home might have been like had he been left there. Then there was the home that he and his mother had made. Home was a difficult term to really apply to that part of his childhood however. It had never been in one place, it had always been lacking in stability, and frequently it had very little in the way of warmth. His mother was kind enough, but she'd had to work too hard to indulge any of his whims. His own educational interest had been sacrificed on the altar of monetary security and a roof over their heads. 

And then there was the home he had put together on Hosnian Prime. When he thought of that home it was really the gardens he thought of rather than the small apartment with barely more than enough room for a bed and a kitchen. The gardens were where he cared, and where he put in time, and it was the gardens he worried for when he was gone, and it was the gardens that gave him some sense of belonging. Outside of Millicent, there was nothing in the apartments he really cared for. It was the gardens that gave the strongest sense of belonging.

The touch of Ben's fingers sliding against his hand inspired that same feeling of belonging, as if he could put roots down here and settle, and have something to come back to later even if he had to go elsewhere for a bit. And as he finished off the final bit of luke-warm - cold really - caf, Hux looked across to warm brown eyes that seemed to be dancing as they met his and he knew that he was utterly lost in whatever this was even if it couldn't be 'home'. 

But, and this was a somewhat atypical question to ask himself, why not just go with the flow of it? The worst that would happen is that at some point they would both grow tired of it. Ben might realize that he could do much better than a nobody gardener and move on to his Hapan Princesses, and Hux would have to go on living as he always had done, but he would always have his gardens even if he didn't have a Jedi meditating in them. 

In the meantime he would get through the presentation that maybe he should have tried to practice this morning around the caf and the shower and the breakfast...

"You're going to do brilliantly," Ben placed his empty caf mug down and leaned across the table to take Hux's hand in his. "You've got this." 

"I didn't say that I was worried," Hux remarked dryly. 

"You had that look though," Ben chuckled.

"What look?"

"The look where your face looks even more pale than it normally does - which that's an accomplishment you know? - and I'm thinking maybe I should sit somewhere besides directly across from you in case you decide to get rid of your breakfast." 

"That's nonsense," Hux should likely have been more offended, but the warmth from the confident support burned away any chill from the reality of his pale skin, so instead he slid his own empty mug away and gathered up his things. "But I should go so that I can do any check that is needed before hand." 

"They're going to let me in?" 

"You've got the guest badge?" 

"Right here," Ben pulled it out of his pocket and waved it about dramatically. 

"Then they should let you in," Hux replied bemused. "Don't lose it in the next hour." 

Ben promised not to, and to also pay the check and the tip - it was only fair considering Hux was paying for his room - and he winked saucily, leaving Hux to shake his head and walk away and put on his professional demeanour. 

This was easier done when he stepped outside of Ben's presence. After all, it wasn't his first conference. It wasn't his first presentation even, and while he might not have given a keynote before, he _had_ gone through presentation, microphone and holo checks, which lent a sense of familiarity to the process, even around the small pit of anxiousness that threatened to displace the breakfast in his stomach. 

The Coronet City Convention Center was only a block and a half from the hotel and so Hux arrived, showed his badge, and asked where the speaker's lounge was. From there, he proceeded to ask pertinent questions of badged staff members until he found the place where he needed to be. There were about thirty minutes until the keynote, which was enough time to do the final checks and for Hux to consider his notes one more time. 

He did this quietly in a folding chair outside the main stage while he tried not to do too much 'practice'. By the time he could hear the sound of other gardeners from around the galaxy in the room it was five minutes before and the convention organizer was approaching to review a few details such as his name and title, any specific tidbits he wanted in his introduction, and anything that was incorrect in what he had. 

Hux waited in silence as the organizer went out to welcome everyone. It was a friendly crowd, and supportive, which was more or less what Hux had expected, and Ben's warm confidence was sitting in the back of his mind, along with the knowledge that Ben would be there to see so by the time the stage manager motioned for him to walk onto stage, there was a cool professional smile on his face as he walked out to shake the organizer's hand and be introduced. 

Hux looked out at a sea of humans, aliens, and a few droids and raised his chin as he surveyed them. He absolutely had this. He opened his mouth to began and for the next hour lost himself in the keynote presentation. Questions came in at the end, including several about his gardens, some about collecting rare specimens, and a few about dealing with people who wanted the only plant of that type in the galaxy and Hux nodded, looking out at the group, feeling stern. 

"Think of it this way, if Alderaan had been the only planet in the galaxy where Alderaanian plants grew, we wouldn't have them now would we? There would be no memorial gardens on Hosnian Prime, no botanical garden on Coruscant. Those plants would have disappeared forever with the Death Star. The only thing having one of a type does, is to tease fate to destroy it." 

"There was only one Death Star," the questioner pointed out. 

"Actually two," Hux raised his eyebrows. "The second at Endor - let's not forget history. But plants die to things less dramatic than planetary destruction every day. Disease, insects, a bad cross with another plant or animal in the garden - you all know this. If you believe you have only one of a kind, you have a responsibility to try to breed a bush or tree to be given to another place. Many of the botanical gardens in the galaxy, including the one on Coruscant, and (albeit more focused) my Alderaanian Memorial Gardens have private greenhouses off limits to the public where things are grown that require more care. You can donate within specified parameters," he paused, showing his teeth as he smiled. "Don't expect me to not negotiate those parameters however." 

There was a chuckle throughout the audience, and the moderator asked if there were any other questions. Hux scanned the crowds and seeing no other hands, looked to the moderator who nodded to him. "We want to thank Armitage Hux for being here to share his expertise, and we hope you all enjoy your convention." 

Hux gathered up some of his things, side-tracked by a few people who had come to talk to him about individual specifics. He ultimately followed a handful of them out into the hall where they walked towards the vendor spaces together locked in more detailed conversations on a few points Hux hadn't had time to go into specifics with. 

He hadn't planned on seeing Ben afterwards and so it was no particular surprise to attend three afternoon meetings alone finally skipping the fourth hour to wander through the vendor booths and purchasing a few things to be shipped to the gardens on Hosnian Prime. 

It was dusk when he stepped out of the convention hall and opened his commlink to hail Ben. 

"I thought I was going to have to eat in my room without you," the Jedi's voice answered without preamble. "You're done?"

"Yes," Hux couldn't help the smile as he pushed his other hand into his pockets and pulled up a hood on his jacket to avoid the mist that was threatening to settle over Coronet City. "I stopped by the vendor booths and it took me a bit longer than I anticipated. I doubt you've starved away." 

"You haven't seen me. Where I could lift you to the bed last night I don't think I could lift a lothcat tonight." 

"You're ridiculous," Hux chuckled shaking his head. "The cantina downstairs or should we go elsewhere?" 

"There's a restaurant, but it's a bit of a speeder drive, are you up for it?"

"Sure, meet you in the lobby?" 

"I'll be there." 

Sure enough, Ben was draped inelegantly over a ritzy looking lobby armchair and when he saw Hux he sprang to his feet and crossed the distance between them with a broad smile. "You know, I only understood 60% or so of that presentation, but I think you nailed it." 

Hux couldn't help the flush that threatened to spread from his cheeks to his neck and his ear as he shook his head. "You're biased." 

"Yeah, and also there were people next to me saying it was one of the most political keynotes they'd heard for a while." 

Hux raised an eyebrow as he fell into position besides Ben. "I'm not certain that's a compliment," but he supposed that his perspective on plants might be political to some. 

"I think it was, well, from one of them. The other person I heard say it, not so much, but obviously they're just feeling shamed by your generous appeal to plants." 

"Have you started drinking already?" Hux looked over at him. 

Ben grinned. "Nope, and even if I had, it takes more than a drink to get me tipsy." 

"Jedi thing?"

"We can use the Force to metabolize alcohol more quickly, if we want to. And also just…" he waved a hand down at himself. "It takes a fair amount to get me drunk in the first place." 

"So last night?" 

Ben paused, and when Hux looked over he found that Ben's eyes were steady on his. "Not drunk," he said seriously. "Not even close."

Hux looked away, but couldn't help the smallest of smiles as he called for an air taxi. 

Ben gave directions to the restaurant, and they took off. 

"What did you find to do all day?" 

"I went over to the ship to check on things," Ben shrugged. "Millicent seems to have made herself at home, by the way. Then I came back to the room and did some swimming, and then got dressed for dinner cause I figured you'd want to do that." 

"What if I'd said I just wanted to come back to the room?" 

Ben's lips turned up in a lopsided grin. "I had a plan that involved calling this old Drall place I know of and making them bring take-away." 

Hux hadn't been expecting that answer, and he found himself mildly touched, considering it had been a long day and he had almost wanted to say let's stay in. Instead he pressed his lips together into a knowing smile. "Well, tomorrow night we should do that. Second day of conference I'm almost always ready to bury in and see nobody after." 

"Nobody?" Ben sounded worried. "What about me?" 

"You don't count," Hux said, and at the look he was getting from Ben he shook his head with a smile. "You're… not a stranger," he protested softly. 

"Well, not any more," Ben agreed. 

Of course, Ben might not be a stranger, but he was also not much more than an acquaintance either. Hux knew vaguely more about him than he might typically know about someone that he slept with. That they both liked the same lilies, that they had some political agreement at least, and Hux had met Ben's mother - something he couldn't say about anyone else that he'd met up with - but even with all of those things there were still things he didn't know. 

"That doesn't mean I know everything about you though," he countered Ben's easy agreement, and glanced over to take in the profile of the man sitting next to him. 

"Well, no," Ben answered Hux's gaze with an equally steady one of his own. "What are you curious about today?" 

The question was so straightforward, it inspired a sense of awkwardness in Hux. There was no turn of the conversation to indicate whether or not Ben was willing to talk about the subject, just an open invitation to ask anything, and Hux wasn't certain he wanted to end up in a verbal battle. After all, historically, the two had found a few things to argue back and forth about. But as he watched Ben he also got the distinct impression that the openness was authentic - at least in the moment. He wouldn't have asked such an open ended question if he wasn't willing to address it, and there was something that Hux felt as if he knew very little about, and yet it was something that almost certainly shaped Ben's life. 

"Tell me about the Force or the Jedi. It feels like everything I've heard have been from sources that aren't particularly positive. Or, from sources that are so positive, it seems it must be favorably biased." 

"What makes you think I'm going to be unbiased," Ben seemed amused by this turn of events.

Hux shook his head. "I didn't say that you'd be unbiased. But I'm interested in your account. I can make up my own mind on the subject."

Ben was saved from an immediate answer as they pulled up to the restaurant and for a moment their attention had to turn to the immediate actions of getting out of the air taxi, and into the restaurant itself.

Ben had provided no information about what the restaurant was that they were going to. And as they walked up to it, Hux realized he was glad that he hadn't changed out of his clothing for the presentation, and that he almost felt under dressed. While Ben had changed, he didn't look overdressed for this location either. Unsurprisingly, he didn't seem bothered by the look he was given by some of the sentient wait staff as he saddled up and gave his name to the attendant.

"You made a reservation," Hux realized, as he stepped up beside Ben. He could feel the weight of the staring more than it seemed Ben, who was Force sensitive, could. Then again, he was Ben Solo, maybe he was used to being stared at. 

"It's the sort of place that you can't be guaranteed a table walking into," Ben deflected, and shrugged. 

A small smile threatened to turn up the corner of Hux's lips. The host droid took off and Ben started after it, and Hux followed after Ben, his eyes on the broad shoulders of the man in front of him. He'd never had someone make a reservation at a restaurant for him, he'd never stayed overnight in a hotel with anyone, he'd never woke up next to someone he'd slept with - it seemed that Ben was trying to personally set a record for the individual giving Hux the greatest number of 'firsts', and Hux wasn't certain that the man was aware that this was happening. 

The table they were given was against the far wall, as the droid stepped away one of the wait staff, a fit looking Twi'lek, came up to the table and offered them a drink menu. Ben took it briefly, but his dark eyes didn't give it much of a glance, instead choosing to look up to the Twi'lek. "We'll take a bottle of the Corellian wine." 

Hux raised an eyebrow at the declaration and as the twi'lek departed, Ben looked back over at him and gave him a quick lopsided grin. "It's for celebrating. We're celebrating." 

"With an entire bottle?" Hux mused. "It's like you're trying to get me drunk." 

"Do I need to get you drunk?" 

"No, but I also do not need a full bottle of wine." 

"Then I'll drink it and you can see me drunk," Ben teased. 

"Stars help us," Hux huffed, but the smile played at his lips despite himself. It wasn't until after they'd ordered food and it was on the way that Ben reminded Hux that he hadn't forgotten the question. 

"People have a lot of ideas about the Jedi that are based on just half-truths anyway." 

Hux looked up from over the glass of wine and raised his eyebrows. "It doesn't seem to me that anyone is about trying to right the ideas."

"Well, no, cause how many millions and billions of beings in the galaxy and how many Jedi?" Ben countered. "Most people don't even know one, and so they don't have any personal experience and I can't give all of them that. So they have weird ideas." 

"But some of them are accurate. You can pick up on my thoughts." 

"Yeah, but, I mean, we've had that conversation - and it's not like I'm trying with you. Like... " Ben looked around the room and his eyes settled on a couple that was sitting across from them. "Them? Nothing. I might be able to dig in and figure it out if I needed too, but I'm not going to do that. Cause there's no reason to try to invade their privacy. You're… different." 

Hux found Ben's eyes on his face and he reached for the wine glass to cover up the sudden heat that gaze inspired. "There's reason to invade my privacy," he raised an eyebrow. 

"No," Ben shook his head, and then seemed to realize that Hux wasn't irritable. "That's not what I'm saying. 

"So, I'm the only person you can look at and catch a mood." 

"Actually, yeah. At least you're the first person that I've not known when I could do that. I can do it sometimes with my parents, but… that's different. I have known them for my entire life. It was one of the first things I noticed about you," Ben seemed to have difficulty admitting this. "We were at the gardens and I was watching you - you were so intent on those flowers. You seemed to really care about them. And you were completely unaware of the fact that I was there," he teased gently. "I'm not used to that." 

Hux rolled his eyes at the last statement feeling his cheeks heat up even though the observation was correct. He did care about the flowers, and he certainly had not been aware that Ben had been watching him. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" 

Ben lifted the wine to his lips and chose not to take the statement with any offense. It was a reminder of how much more relaxed Ben seemed this weekend. 

"Those ridiculous flowers," Hux shook away the heat in his cheeks. 

"I don't know, I have a fondness for them," Ben chuckled. 

"Did you before we met?" Hux asked, and then cursed himself for asking such a blatantly self-serving question. 

Ben didn't seem bothered, but instead he pushed his shoulders back against the back of the seat and considered. "I always liked the view from that place. I have for years, but you were a new addition. I liked you as an addition. I thought you didn't like me." 

"I didn't," Hux said immediately and then regretted it. "Well, that's not entirely true. I found you arrogant, yes. And I didn't like the notion that you were reading my mind." 

"Not reading, just -"

"Over-hearing, yeah, I know." It was slightly odd to consider that it was one of the first things Ben had noticed about him. But somehow it made sense that they would have fallen into difficult conversations. It was unusual for Ben, which made Hux unique in an interesting way, but how could he have expected Hux would be okay with it? Even now, Hux had to admit - that he wasn't certain he was entirely all right with the fact that Ben might be over-hearing all of these thoughts. 

"Then you sent me the flowers." Ben tilted his head. "Why?" 

Hux hesitated at this question and glanced down at the still mostly full glass of wine. The events that had led up him to impulsively sending Ben buckets full of lilies were still a bit of a mystery to him. There had been that dream, a dream that still gave birth to an edge of nausea when he remembered it, and then meeting the Alderaanian woman and her commentary. When he looked back up at Ben, the brown eyes weren't on him specifically. He didn't know if eye contact were required for Ben to pick up on his thoughts, and it didn't really make sense that eye-contact would be required. After all, you could hear something even if your ear was not turned directly towards it, but even if Ben probably could still 'over-hear' his thoughts, it gave Hux the feeling of being given space. 

"You were in my dreams." 

Ben's gaze turned back on his and he frowned slightly. "What dream?" 

"We were both on Alderaan -"

"Before you send me flowers?" Ben interrupted him with his brows furrowing together over his nose. 

"Yes," Hux looked back up at him. "Why?" 

"I dreamed of Alderaan too," Ben frowned. 

The urgency to run that had pervaded the dream itself filtered back into Hux's consciousness and he shifted in his seat. "Well, hopefully it was at a nicer time than when I dreamed of it. Regardless, I then was thinking of the lilies the next day, getting ready to trim them, and an Alderaanian woman was there, and it just seemed an odd coincidence. We spoke briefly of the lilies, and I thought I would send them to you." 

It was a very haphazard telling of the events, and it left out the most important part - that idea that like he cared for the flowers, he could care for a relationship. It felt too personal, somehow, which seemed ridiculous in the aftermath of the previous evening where everything that had been done was intimate and personal, and the having of dinner tonight following that evening was even more intimate and personal, but Hux couldn't get into it just yet. He couldn't bring himself to tell Ben that he'd wanted to find out if there was a relationship worth tending there. Perhaps because he still wasn't certain that this was a relationship, and to admit that this was his reasoning, was to admit that he wanted something that was possibly more than what he was being offered. 

"What did you dream of?" Hux asked, realizing that Ben still looked concerned. 

"The Organa palace," Ben shook his head. "I was the Prince - nothing I ever particularly wanted, nor anything I'll be expected to be. Your dream made you uneasy? And no, your shifting when you spoke of it gave it away, nothing else." 

Hux sighed and took another sip of the wine to help dissolve the edge that always followed his memories of that night. As nightmares went, it was continuing to resonate a long time after he'd had it. "It wasn't a good dream, although you were in it. But I've had my fill of spending my time invested in Alderaan's history since working at the gardens, so it's perhaps not surprising. You were the most pertinent part, certainly." 

Ben did smile briefly at that, but Hux wondered if the concern was not still there, only pushed away as Ben teased: "I'm always the most pertinent part." 

The atmosphere in the restaurant was quiet and restful, and the meal itself proceeded mostly with conversation that led Hux away from the sense of running away that had come with the dream. The food was among some of the best that Hux had ever eaten, and the entire experience continued to give a heady feeling any time he paused enough in the conversation to consider what was happening. And yet, despite that heady feeling, he found himself relaxing just a bit. As the conversation wove about, Hux found himself picking up pieces of what the Jedi did, something that seemed to rest between spirituality and warriors and servants, and Hux couldn't help but feel Ben wasn't certain how to wear all of those pieces. The expectations of who he should be pushed up against who he was, and even who he might want to be, all too frequently it felt like. But the conversation stayed mostly light. As Ben lightly teased Hux found himself opening up and talking a little about his mother, and about how he had gotten into gardening. 

"Do you ever wish you'd been able to do the Engineering thing?" Ben asked, as they waited for dessert. 

"Yes," Hux answered without hesitation. "Don't get me wrong, I know that what I do is important in some sense. I believe what I spoke about this morning, and I know that I'm extremely knowledgable about it. Possibly I am more distinguished in this area than I would be in another - still… Building something unique - being a part of that, planning it? Having a monument of what you were able to accomplish? You could argue the garden is that, and it is, but…" 

"People don't recognize it as such," Ben finished the sentence for him.

A shared chocolate cake was sat down in front of them and Hux reached for his fork as he looked back up at Ben. 

"That's it, yes," he realized there were times where Ben being able to tell more or less where he was going with something wasn't all bad. "People don't understand how persnickety plants can be. Or that there's a skill in helping something to flourish in an environment that is not its own. Most people recognize that building ships, buildings, stations - those things take skill." 

"Maybe similar skills," Ben picked up his fork and offered Hux a smile. "You think?" 

"I think you're trying to make me feel better about the way my life has turned out." 

"It's got you sharing a rumble liquid cake with me," Ben pointed to the plate sitting in the middle of the table. "So, I'll suggest your life has not turned out so terribly." 

Hux had to grant him that. "You first," he grinned. 

"If you insist," Ben chuckled and dug his fork in. 

Ben had insisted also upon taking care of the cheque and Hux didn't want to know what the entire evening, and the bottle of wine had cost them. The mist had firmly settled into the city as they stepped outside onto the sidewalk into the lights of Coronet City, and Hux didn't complain when Ben wrapped his arm around Hux's shoulders and pulled him to the right. "There's a park down here by the river side. You want to walk around a bit?" 

Hux agreed, and they made their way down past an assortment of mostly closed or closing shops and a few upper end cantinas or tapcafs that seemed to be doing a good deal of business. Hux allowed Ben's arm to stay over his shoulders, even though it made walking a bit awkward initially. But by the time he could see the lights that lined the riverside walkway he'd learned how to pace his steps in time with Ben's, and there was an unexpected coolness when Ben pulled away as they walked down the steps into the waterside park. 

"I used to come here sometimes when I was a kid," Ben offered. "Usually during the day, and there are all sorts of vendors here during the day. Candies, sweet fruits, savory things - whatever you want. There are even a few that sell local alcohols," Hux could see the grin that Ben was giving him in the light of the moons. "Only on Corellia," Ben laughed. 

"Did your Dad get you alcohol?" Hux mused, glancing over at him. Ben was oddly attractive when he was relaxed like this. It had the effect of making Hux want to keep him relaxed. And there was some power inherent in the realization that probably he'd helped with that last night and possibly could do it again tonight. 

"Nah, my Mom said no." Ben chuckled. "Well, except the last time I was here with him. Cause it was just the two of us, and I was older. But that's been a while. Guess they don't keep the carts open when it's night." 

"If you really want wine though, you've got the leftover bottle," Hux pointed out. 

"I thought you didn't want to get drunk." 

"I don't," Hux walked towards the river and the duracrete barriers that kept the park separate from the banks. The mist was great enough that even with the lights lining the path, it felt as if he and Ben were really the only people on the planet. Hux knew air taxis and speeders, and the train systems were still moving, and that there was an entire city of people just up a set of stairs, but the mist seemed to separate them from that, and this entire weekend felt like two separate ones - the professional one that he had signed up for, and this other one that was unexpected, but welcomed. He turned around to look at Ben, who had followed him and was looking down at him. "Thank you for tonight, Ben." 

"Your presentation really was interesting," Ben nodded, taking a step to close the distance between them. "I'd never thought about most of the stuff you talked about. What you've done with the gardens? I mean, I know Mom's mentioned the benefits of having them before, but listening to you talk this morning - it made me realize that it's more than I ever considered." 

Hux stepped forward and Ben reached out to wrap a hand around Hux's waist to pull him close. In the shadows they would likely appear as one individual and there was something about that idea Hux rather liked. He lifted his chin and pressed his lips to Ben's for the first time that evening. 

"You aren't regretting asking me to come," Ben spoke softly as he pulled back. 

"Not in the slightest," Hux murmured, reaching a hand up to gently press to Ben's jawline. "I'd do it again." 

Ben leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to the base of Hux's ear, where his pulse was beating a little more wildly in the moment. "All of it?" he whispered gently in Hux's ears. 

"Yes," Hux returned. "If you would say yes." 

"Mmmm," Ben's lips were against his earlobes, following the line of his jaw, as fingers splayed across his neck, inching up into hair that had been neatly combed just a moment before. "I would say yes." 

Hux brought his other hand up to Ben's chest, steadying himself against him, and intensely aware of beat of the heart his hand was hovering over. Some part of him still couldn't help but wonder why Ben was here. It felt so arbitrary and unlikely. He was the son of a former Imperial. Ben was the son of a Republic war hero and senator. Was it just the Force thing? What was it about him that made Ben interested? 

"Would you?" his voice sounded far away to him.

"Yes," Ben pulled back now, his gaze finding Hux's. "Why is that a surprise to you? You're gorgeous and you're passionate and I want you." 

Hux swallowed. Ben just kept giving him all of these firsts. 

"Have you ever done this twice with the same person?" Ben asked, and had his hand not been gentle against Hux's back, Hux might have pulled away and turned indignant, but the strength of the hand highlighted how gentle it felt, and the words too illustrated that same softness. It was all surprising in a man of Ben's size and of his abilities. 

Hux shook his head, and the words that he pushed to his lips were so soft he wondered if Ben would have picked up on them without Jedi abilities: "I've never wanted to." 

Ben's lips were featherlight against his own - the passion of the night before still there, but restrained in the current gesture. Hux could feel fingers sliding up into his hair, rifling through it with no care to the product holding it in place. The admission sat heavy in his abdomen, even as Ben seemed to be speaking to it in the hand at his waist, the fingers in his hair, the lips against his jawline once again. And then the words: "I'm honored to be the first you've wanted twice." 

Ben's simple sentence wrapped around Hux's admission, lifting up the weight of it, and giving Hux the strength to press his own hand up around Ben's neck, and meet the Jedi's lips with certainty. "Shall I call us a taxi?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I started working on chapter 13 I realized that the conclusion really needed to be divided out over two chapters. So this is the next to last chapter and the start of the conclusion that we've been building towards for a while. 
> 
> As always, if you want to talk to me, come over and [tumblr](http://jedihafren.tumblr.com/) with me.

The second morning, Hux was too tired to wake on his own. It was the persistent, if somewhat tinny, sound of an alarm from his datapad that finally pulled him out of his sleep. Then the groan of annoyance from the man next to him pulled him into a more wakeful state. A quick review of the situation reminded him that he was once again naked in bed next to Ben Solo after once again having had some of the best sex of his life. 

"Make it stop Hux, or I'll make it stop," Ben grumbled. 

Hux pressed his eyes open and tried to figure out where the datapad was. The sound on the alarm felt muted so it wasn't beside his bedside on the table, which would have been where he would have typically left things in a lifetime where he was attending the conference alone and as a professional rather than somehow choosing to combine work and pleasure into one very pleasant hotel stay. 

Underneath the jacket, perhaps. Hux thought he could see the corner, and he pushed himself up on one elbow, and lurched forward to pick his jacket up and drape it over the arm of the nearest chair. The datapad was under it, louder now without the heavy fabric over it, a fact that would have been obvious from the protest Ben gave him, and Hux silenced it, and considered the time. Breakfast would need to be quick if he was going to make the first session this morning, but he could make it happen. He put the datapad down on the chair and turned around to find that Ben had turned over and had one elbow propped up on the pillow openly staring at him. 

Hux's cheeks flushed slightly even if Ben had seen this before already.

Ben seemed to adore this reaction, and he grinned, patting the mattress next to him. "Come back to bed." 

"I need to shower, or I'm not going to have time for breakfast." 

"Come on Hux, just for a minute?" 

Hux glanced at the datapad and signed, but it was lacking any vehemence behind it. He turned, sliding quickly back under the sheets as he reached for a pillow to prop up behind him. 

"Good morning," Ben offered, his free hand sliding over to trace a line down Hux's abdomen. "You're so kriffing beautiful, you know that, yeah?" 

"And last night's wine went to your head," Hux returned easily, but there was a smile as he did so. The way Ben had started looking at him this weekend - well, he could get used to it. He maybe shouldn't. Really, he probably shouldn't, but he _could_. "I need caf before the meetings start or the whole day will be a loss."

"What if I go get you some while you shower," Ben suggested. "You did that for me yesterday. It'll give you a few minutes extra in bed with me." 

"Not _that_ many extra minutes," Hux protested, seeing the look that Ben was giving him. He reached out and took Ben's hand and removed it from his chest even as he didn't mind having it there. "But," he offered in a chance to defer the pout that was threatening to overtake Ben's features. "We could possibly do lunch." 

"Yeah?" Ben looked partially mollified. "You have time for that?"

"I think so," Hux glanced over to the datapad, and with a bit of a sigh, moved to the edge of the mattress to pull it into bed with him. He pulled up the schedule and pointed. "There's over an hour. If we just went to the cantina downstairs, for instance, or one of the places in the conference center, it should be more than enough time." 

"Or I could order into this room and we could eat up here." 

Ben was smirking by the time Hux looked over at him and he shook his head, chuckling. "Again, I'm not certain I have that much extra time. Save up all that energy Jedi. You'll get me again tonight." 

"Promise?" 

Hux leaned forward to press his lips gently against Ben's. "Yeah. Now go get me caf." 

Ben wriggled his eyebrows, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, using the Force to pull his trousers from where they'd been dropped on the floor. "I'm holding you to that promise," he gave Hux a quick nod. "Don't think you're getting out of it." 

But Hux had no desire to get out of it. Something he wasn't about to say out loud to Ben, and only barely wanted to admit to himself. He still half expected that when the weekend ended, they'd go back to Hosnian Prime and find that the two of them didn't have so much in common after all, and this had been a terrible idea, but at least he'd gotten a good fuck out of it. 

Well, two. Probably three, if tonight's plans held. 

The door shut behind Ben and Hux laid the datapad to the side and headed to the refresher. There was shampoo already in there when he closed the door behind him and so he used it, realizing only halfway through doing so that it probably wasn't the hotel supplied soap, but instead was likely Ben's. Hux wasn't one to notice smells typically, but this smelled like Ben - like he'd smelled that first night even. The washing provided him with a few moments to himself to wonder again if this had been a good idea or a terrible one. 

It was a reoccurring theme in his thoughts it seemed. One moment it felt as if it had been one of the best decisions he'd ever made, but he still wondered if he could trust it. There was so very little he'd ever tried to trust. Millicent, perhaps, if a cat could be something that you trusted. The gardens perhaps as well, but the gardens weren't sentient. Ben was. He was sentient, and real, and alive, and Hux had rarely found those things to be trustworthy. Yet he could feel himself crumbling under the weight of that glance, the firm touch of Ben's fingers, and most dangerously, the feeling - and one that was probably imaginary - of having found home. 

Hux pushed his hands up across his forehead, pushing his hair back, and tilting it under the water to finish washing any remaining suds out. Having done this he switched the water off, stood for a moment in the empty room, and then reached for one of the towels, running it through his hair, across his shoulders, chest, and arms, and then wrapping it around his waist. He was playing with fire really. 

Or he was playing with power. 

It felt like an starkly honest assessment of the situation. Ben was a Jedi Knight, and who knew what powers he had outside of the known ones because of that fact? He was the son of a senator, someone who moved among politicians and political circles. He was the grandson, and probably heir to the Alderaanian throne, for what such things were worth when it was a lost planet. But he was also the grandson and heir to who had been one of the most infamous Imperial leaders in the galaxy, Darth Vader. He was taller than Hux, more built, and even without the Force, Hux doubted his strength would hold out against Ben. Any way you looked at it, Ben represented power, and that set Hux buzzing when he was around him. 

He stopped and stared at the lines of his own face in the mirror and seeking only brutal honesty from himself. But he was interrupted from anything too meaningful as there was a rap on the door. 

"You done, Hux? I got your caf." 

Hux dropped his eyes from the mirror and slid the door open. 

Ben was standing outside of it and his gaze dropped from Hux's eyes, to his chest, down to the light brush of ginger hair across his abdomen, always visible against his all too pale skin. Ben's eyes came back up, and the smile suggested that they'd enjoyed the journey. "Hope it's good," he held out the cup.

"Thank you," Hux took it, took a sip. It was from the same place he'd gone the day before - Ben must have been paying attention - but it was a different blend, this one with a spicy note to it that had not been present in the previous blend. "It's good, thanks." 

Ben beamed as if he'd been handed a gold trophy. 

Whatever time he'd lost in bed in the morning, Hux had made up for by the time he'd gotten dressed. The two had parted about twenty minutes before Hux's first meeting, and made arrangements to meet at a tapcaf across from the hotel that appeared to sell sandwiches and lunch foods along with a variety of drinks. Hux attended the first presentation, a practical discussion of difficulties in keeping the appropriate balance within greenhouse soils, and then he skipped the second presentation for the floor and the possibility to actually speak with colleagues while he wandered the floor. 

He exited the main conference center just a few minutes before he was supposed to meet Ben across at the Tapcaf. The mist of the night before had cleared, leaving them with a midday on Coronet City that was about as beautiful as you could get. Hux blinked up into the sun, and then headed across the brick plaza, sighting Ben about half-way across. 

"I thought you might be late," Ben grinned at him, stuffing both hands in his pockets and falling into step beside Hux. 

"I'm always on time, why would you think that?" 

"Gardeners, conference, vendors, lilies…" 

"Do you always have to be a smart ass?" 

"Yep, it's pretty much in my genetic code," Ben chuckled as he reached for the door of the tapcaf. 

Ben pulled the door open, but as he did so, took a step forward himself, as if he'd tripped on something, and Hux's hand reached out to grab Ben's nearest arm to steady him. 

Hux was about to make a joke about it when he glanced at Ben's face: It had gone suddenly pale and immovable, and the look pricked at the back of Hux's neck, shooting uncertainty down his spine. "Ben?"

The word seemed to bring Ben back to the moment, and he turned, shaking his head, and holding the door for Hux while motioning him into the tapcaf. 

Inside, Ben didn't say anything, but while he was moving towards the line, Hux could see that something had happened. Ben's mood had shifted suddenly and he could see no reason for it. Nothing in the restaurant and nothing on the street itself that he could see. 

"What happened?" He asked softly as he stepped up beside Ben. The other man might be taller, but Hux was tall enough to still speak almost directly into his ear. "Back there? What happened?" 

"I don't know," Ben said finally, and when he turned to Hux his face was more its normal color, even if his eyes still held a wary concern. "It - it felt like death." 

'It felt like death' was not at the top of lists of things one wanted to hear from one's Force sensitive… whatever Ben was to Hux. But he had to wait until they'd ordered food, Ben choosing to order only a smoothie, before they stepped to the side and found a small table in the corner. 

"What do you mean?" Hux queried "A Force thing?" 

"It was like a scream…" Ben stopped, and shook his head lightly. "That's not the best way to describe it, but it's also the only way I can think of. For a moment, I thought something had happened on this planet in this city, but I don't think so." 

Hux looked over at the human that was behind the counter, seemingly ignoring the work of the droids who were working on serving what appeared, largely to be a normal looking lunch crowd. If there had been anything on this planet certain it didn't seem to be something that anyone in here knew about. Could it have been not something that happened, but something that might. Jedi could tell the future like that, couldn't they? That thought wasn't supremely more comfortable than the thought that something might have already happened. 

"Ben…" Hux spoke lightly, but Ben had already glanced up. 

"I think something happened, Hux. Somewhere. I don't know what. But I think a lot of people died. I'm certain of it." 

Hux frowned. Ben's toned belied any idea that he didn't absolutely believe what he was saying, even if the information seemed unhelpful at best. If people did die, what were they to do about that? If it had already happened, then they couldn't stop it from happening. Hux took a bite of his sandwich, but although Ben had ordered a smoothie, he hadn't touched it. Instead fidgeting seemed like the best descriptor for him. Hux was pretty certain the table was bouncing slightly from Ben's excess energy He took another bite, but then realized that he wasn't really tasting it either. It was difficult to really taste food easily when there was this unspoken question of if something had happened. And if so, then what? That was the question and it wasn't one likely to be answered here. 

"Should we go back to the hotel?" 

"Yeah," Ben's gaze snapped up and then he seemed to realize that Hux still had food. "We can finish if you want though?"

Hux was already wrapping his sandwich back up. "You've got a drink, and I'll put this in a bag to go. If you think something happened we should figure out if it did. You'll feel better once you know what's going on." 

Of course there was also the thought that he might feel worse, but Hux wasn't about to say it aloud even as he knew it was possible Ben would overhear him thinking it anyway. But surely he wasn't the only one thinking it. There weren't too many ways he could think of that 'a lot of people died' would turn out to be something that might make you feel better. 

Out on the streets, it was only a short elevated train ride back to the hotel from the conference center. Hux wondered if it was just his own mood, but although the sun was shining yet it felt as if the overall mood in the city had shifted. There were any number of people who seemed the same as they had before, but then there were groups talking together and Ben would eye them, and his hand shifted to the lightsaber he seemed to always have at his belt, even though Hux had never seen him pull it out before. 

The hotel lobby contained more beings than Hux had ever seen in it, and it soon became apparent why: A large holoscreen with the HoloNews Network was blaring from a corner of the lobby. It was on audibly, which was different from the typical muted ticker headlines that had been there every other time. Ben stopped, and Hux stepped up behind him, their eyes both on the woman speaking. It was live from Coruscant, which made Hux frown, but it was the words of the twi'lek reporter he hadn't been anticipating. They'd lost contact with Hosnian Prime during the broadcast and they were afraid it might be a significant loss of communication. People had seen something -

"It's gone," Ben whispered, loudly enough that at least three people turned to stare at him outside of Hux. 

But Hux didn't have time to question further; Ben had reached for his arm and was dragging him towards the lifts. 

"What do you mean gone?" Hux asked, as the doors opened. Ben shook his head as it became clear they were entering with another couple. They rode the rest of the journey to their floor in silence, and Hux's desire for the sandwich diminished as the floors passed beneath them. Was it a communication array that he knew about being gone? Surely it was something like that - not… 

_A lot of people had died._

"Key." Ben demanded, holding out his hand for the card, and Hux gave it over, unwilling to argue over who was going to carry the key or open the door or any of it. There was an edge of his own anxiety as he waited for Ben to open it up and step through the door. In the safety of their hotel room where there was no one to overhear, Hux resisted the urge to turn on the small holoviewer and instead focused his attention entirely upon his companion. 

"Ben, talk to me. What's -?"

"I think Hosnian Prime is gone." The words were stark and flat with no emotion in them. Ben turned around, silhouetted in the midday sun from the window behind him 

The memory of a dream, a beam of light, and waking in the stillness of his apartment was so intense that Hux found himself uncertain about where he was standing. And even as that clarity rolled in. 

"I don't understand." 

"They lost communication with Hosnian Prime during a broadcast. People are reporting a disturbance in the system. They can't re-establish contact -"

"It could be a subspace disturbance, this happens and sometimes it's -"

"That's not what this is, Hux," Ben practically yelled. 

The intensity of emotion was enough to silence Hux. Perhaps if he'd truly believed that Ben was wrong and his protestation had any merit whatsoever he would have fought back more, but the truth was he didn't. He had seen Ben stumble in the middle of a day that was otherwise full of clear skies and birds singing. And Ben's belief of what had happened was easily matched by the broadcast. It seemed insane to Hux, but then again, the fact that Ben could seemingly read his thoughts without really trying to do so, seemed equally insane. But he couldn't find any place to push back against and he didn't know what to say to the idea that a planet - _his_ planet - might be suddenly not there. 

Ben shifted, pressing his fingers to his forehead regretfully. "I'm sorry," he muttered, pacing across the floor. "It's just - _I_ just know." 

Hux had no context to really think about this. Hosnian Prime was light years away, of course, but the idea that it might not be light years away still was difficult to wrap his mind around. They were gone for the weekend and they would need to return. The gardens would need to be tended, he had things being shipped there. The droids were taking care of the basics while he was gone, but he would need to start the seeding of the fruit trees next week. Hosnian Prime couldn't be gone. The fruit trees were there, the garden was there, and those stupid plants were the closest thing he had to anything he genuinely cared about. 

That beam from the sky falling down into the royal gardens of Alderaan: gardens he'd carefully tried to re-create when and where he could. The feeling of knowing that it was coming and of standing there with Ben while it was there. That waking up heart racing, and the quiet buzz of Republic City in the early hours of the morning with the moon overhead. He'd dreamed of that, but he hadn't dreamed of this. 

"There's no one that has that kind of power," he finally managed. 

"The First Order might," Ben frowned. 

"The -"

"We should get back to the ship," Ben had stopped pacing and was now looking earnestly at Hux. "Mom will know what's going on, and I can contact her via subspace there. If something has happened, we should probably get off of the populated planets for a bit too. Until we know what - just in case. And the sooner that happens, the better. When they start putting the pieces together, there may be panic in the port. If we can get in space now - then it'll be easier."

"But the conference -" Hux stopped. The protest to keep the conference sounded precisely as feeble as the attempt to disregard what Ben was telling him. He tightened his hands into fists, feeling his nails dig into the palms of his hands for a moment. The sensation grounded him back in the moment, away from the half-memories of dreams that had perhaps held a modicum of truth, and possibly saved Ben's life - a thought he really didn't want to dwell on right now - and back in the moment, meant that Hux had something to pull himself together around. There was a certain logic to Ben's words, and there was a statement Hux had never thought he'd make. But despite the fact that everything Ben was saying as fact seemed to be based on feelings and Force sense, Hux could recognize there was a logic that followed. 

If there was another Death Star, which was not impossible - however improbable it might be - then it could have been used against Hosnian Prime. If it were used against Hosnian Prime, then that would account for the lack of communication. And if there were a group that were targeting Republic planets then Corellia would make for a target. It was precisely the sort of cultural powerhouse that Alderaan had been. Corellian culture pervaded aspects of galaxy life on most major planets, in ways many were completely unaware of. That feeling of standing and watching with Ben as a beam of light hit the planet in his dream pushed acid up in his esophagus. 

If Leia Organa knew anything, then it made sense to contact her. 

Hux glanced around. His things were mostly packed, but Ben's things were scattered. "You're talking about leaving now," he replied crisply. "We should take our things with us back to the ship. If your mother knows something and it becomes apparent we should leave the planet, then we'll have everything with us to do so and I can check out via holo." He stepped across and picked up a shirt that did not belong to him, along with a pair of socks. 

"Yeah," Ben seemed momentarily grateful for the direction, and he turned on his heel to find his own bag. "That's good thinking, Hux. See, this is - yeah." 

Hux had no idea what this was. But he could do process. Packing, taking their things with them, and being ready to not return if they needed to leave - that was process. And it, like nothing else that was happening in the moment, could be understood and made sense of. 

He packed up his own few things that had not already been done, grabbing the toiletries he'd used that morning, and checking underneath the covers on the bed and around the floor. He was ready just before Ben, and for a moment the two stood and stared at each other. 

Hux wanted to ask if Ben really believed this. How he thought it might have happened. Hux had thought the First Order was a fringe group that was occasionally discussed on the talk shows. But any group that could destroy an entire planet… if Ben was right… The Death Star had required incredible amounts of engineering and knowledge and materials… it seemed impossible that any fringe group could be working at that level without people knowing about it. 

But as Ben headed for the door, and Hux followed him, he almost felt that - despite the initial shock - Ben didn't seem surprised so much as resigned. In fact, he seemed simply certain of what had happened, which implied… well, Hux wasn't certain what it implied. It implied perhaps that Ben knew things Hux didn't know - and that was the sort of thing that might be entirely likely considering his connections within the government, and Hux's total lack of said connections - but in having jumped directly to the First Order… 

Hux didn't speak again until they were in an air-taxi, working their way through the streets on their way back to the docks. It felt impossible that the sun ought still to be shining considering what Ben had suggested, but it was, and Hux turned his attention away from the outside and back to Ben. But the silence had turned fragile, as if the wrong word might break something important and so Hux didn't say anything throughout the drive, nothing until they pulled up near the docks.

The cab driver huffed: "Looks like there's a bit of a traffic jam." 

"That's fine," Ben told the humanoid alien of a species that Hux didn't recognize. "We'll take it the rest of the way on foot." 

Which was how Hux ended up carrying his bag nearly two miles across docks towards the visiting ones where he knew Ben's ship was parked. IDs were checked, and security seemed tight, and Hux didn't say anything until they were in the bay itself. 

"Are you going to tell me what you think happened?" He asked suddenly, the fear and edginess wearing out. "You think it's gone. The entire planet?" 

Ben paused, turning back. "Come on board, Hux. I'm going to start pre-flight." 

"I want answers." 

"I don't have them," Ben admitted. "But I know what I felt in the Force," his gaze flickered up and down Hux. "I felt people dying. Not just a few, lots: A planet's worth, maybe." 

"You mentioned the First Order," Hux could see that Ben wanted to leave and so he took a step forward, moving back towards the ship again. "But that's just a fringe group - they don't have enough power to do something like that." 

Ben looked at him as if he was going to say something but couldn't figure out what and then he turned and walked up the ramp into the ship. Hux was left unable to do anything but follow. 

"Ben! Nobody has that kind of power." 

"If what I think happened, happened?" Ben brought the boarding ramp up. "Fiver, start up sequence, and get me my mom on subspace," he turned from the droid and turned back to Hux and started over. "If what I think happened then it almost certainly was the First Order. And they do have that kind of power if it was them. We've been tracking them for years now. The senate wouldn't recognize it as a legitimate threat, but it's there. It's being funded by sympathizers within our government. Nobody recognizes it as a threat, because nobody wants to fight another war. But I think one just came to us." 

"But wouldn't the Senate be aware of another Death Star being created?" 

The moment was interrupted as Fiver came back in and beeped. 

"Thanks," Ben told the droid and then he stepped forward and put a hand gently on Hux's shoulder. "I'm gonna talk to mom and find out what she knows. You check on Millicent, yeah? I should know more shortly." 

Hux found Millicent curled up on his bunk. She looked up at him with mild reproach, as if she were irritated that he had left her alone in a strange ship with a strange droid and with only a strange human to check in on her. It occurred to her as she blinked at him, that if Ben was correct about what had happened, that if the reservation hadn't been messed up and if she hadn't been required to come with him that Millicent would be gone. 

Despite the fact that some part of Hux found this impossible to truly believe, he moved forward, dropping his luggage onto the floor and sliding his hand underneath Millicent's belly, pulling her up to his chest. She protested this indignity, and he could feel her claws extend as she was for a moment uncertain of her own safety. As she was cradled against Hux's chest, she relaxed, and then she began to purr. Hux's hand slid around her neck, rubbing fingers against the fur there. 

They stood that way for several long moments, Hux uncertain if he should go back out and find Ben, or simply stay put. In the back of his mind he was well aware that the conference would be starting back up, or maybe it already had - he couldn't check the time without displacing Millicent and at any rate, it didn't matter - it seemed likely at this point that no matter what had happened, he would not be returning to the conference this afternoon. 

The weekend had shattered out underneath him, but not in any way that he had expected. 

No, that was over-dramatic nonsense, and was something more akin to what Ben would offer than anything that Armitage Hux would stand by. He straightened up, pressed his hand gently against Millicent's head, and she responded by gently butting his fingers with her nose. 

"We're going to go find him," he determined. And along with finding Ben, he would find some answers. He pushed his bag out of the way of the door with his foot and he and Millicent walked out through the cabin door and back towards the main living space. As they reached it, Millicent indicated her displeasure with the arrangement and he let her down on one of the benches, even though there were any number of places she could probably run off to. Currently the yacht was closed up so she couldn't leave and get lost in Corellia. 

He was about to head towards the cockpit as Ben rounded the corner back from that location and whatever hopes Hux had that Ben was going to give him some other news or piece of information were well and truly dashed as Ben looked at him. Ben didn't say anything, but his face was more pale than Hux had ever seen it. He choked out the question regardless. 

"What happened?" 

For a moment, he thought he was going to have to repeat the question again, but then Ben seemed to pull himself together. "The entire system. At least, that's the reports right now. The whole system is gone." 

Hux stepped backwards, his knees hitting the built in seat behind him and he sat down, feeling uncharacteristically faint. The implications of this - that there was not only a Death Star like object, but something that could destroy an entire system - and had destroyed an entire system. Not just any system, but the Hosnian system. The entirety of the Republic government, the senators, the officials and administration, the architecture and history, and his gardens. There were one of a kind things that he hadn't had the opportunity to spread further. 

Ben's hand crept over his shoulder, and Ben joined him on the bench. 

"You're certain," Hux finally pulled his voice up to speak. "Has someone been in system?" 

"Mom has some pilots going in right now to do recon, but that's the reports. They saw the beams. And… Hux… I felt it." 

Hux tightened his jaw, pushing back the rush of emotion that threatened to push up and spill over. He would not fall apart over any of this. Yes, it was his life's work, and yes, they were things that had been lost to the galaxy once, and yes - if he hadn't asked Ben with him, Ben might have been on that planet. If Millicent hadn't come with him, she would have been. If… there was no point in dwelling on those things though. Or the fact that he couldn't begin to think what would come next. Everything he knew - everything he owned - it was all on Hosnian Prime except for the bag that was with him. He straightened his shoulders and straightened up. 

"What's next?" 

Ben's brows furrowed together, and he looked over at Hux as if he didn't trust the lack of emotion. And maybe there was good reason for that considering that the lack of emotion was nearly all external. For the hundredth time Hux felt irritable about Ben's ability to read who knew what. 

"Yes, I'm upset," he answered the unspoken question, knowing Ben would likely feel the truth regardless. "I'm - I don't know what to say right now, and anyway, there's not much to say for what's done. The question is what's next. You spoke to your mother, you must know." 

"Thanks goodness she was off planet this week," Ben's quiet gratitude whirled past Hux. "But I'm going to find the resistance." 

"The what?" 

"Where Mom is," Ben sighed. "She's been telling me for months that she needs my help. And I've -" 

"They'll need to verify it of course," Hux stood up now, needing to move. "But if they have pilots going in for recon, that shouldn't take much. The asteroid belt around where Alderaan used to be was clue enough. We know what to look for on these things. You said the First Order is responsible for this - and that you've known about them and the Senate has done nothing? If the Senate was willing to ignore them, then why pick such a large target? Why not move more quietly at first?" 

"They have been moving quietly," Ben was staring at Hux as if he hadn't expected any of these questions. "But this was symbolic. They took out the heart of the government that resisted the Empire. The First Order was built out of the Empire - and the Republic shattered the Empire, so they shattered the Republic. And they've shown what they can do. If we can't stop that, then there is nothing to stop them from clearing the galaxy. The fear that the Empire controlled with the Death Stars? The First Order now has." 

"It's wasteful," Hux muttered. "You said there was a resistance." 

"It's probably the best hope right now," Ben admitted. 

"Then we should get moving. And I should message my mother," he realized. "She'll think I was on Hosnian Prime when the news comes out. I should tell her I've been on Corellia for a conference." 

"You could finish your conference," Ben offered. 

Hux shook his head. "No, I couldn't. Not after this. Not... I dreamed this. Except I didn't realize. When we were Alderaan. I dreamed that we were there when the Death Star hit - you and I. We were walking in the royal gardens. I thought it was just a nightmare and it kept lingering, but it's… I wouldn't have asked you to join me without it. You would have been on Hosnian Prime when they attacked it." 

Ben stood up and without saying anything he walked towards Hux, and wrapped his arms up around him tightly. Hux gave into the embrace. He had gone into planning mode the attempt to put everything in order even when it was all falling apart around him, but there was nothing that he could do to fix this. Even the presentation that he had just gave, truthfully, he hadn't entirely followed his own instructions. But beyond that the plants, even some he thought were one of a kinds, might some of them be able to be found in other places. The millions of beings on Hosnian Prime had no duplicates. The woman who had prompted him to give Ben a chance, who had escaped the destruction of one planet only to be destroyed on another one decades later, she had been unique.

"Come with me," Ben's words were soft, but certain. 

For someone that could be so emotionally volatile, Hux was surprised at times at how sturdy Ben could seem. Maybe it was just his physical presence. Or maybe it had something to do with that sense that had been unavoidable for Hux this weekend. Either way, he was silent in the aftermath of the request. 

He had expected a return to normal after this weekend. And normal, whether it was for better or for worse, had been Hux returning to his apartment and his cat and his gardens, and to life where Ben Solo was upon the periphery, rather than right here, right now, demanding that Hux look at him and that Hux acknowledge him. Hux swallowed, not daring to look up at the man in front of him.

The request might be to come with Ben, but it would end up being so much more. Hux knew nothing about a Resistance, and, if he were honest with himself, at times had blamed the republic and the rebellion against the Empire that had birthed the republic, for the demise of his own family and opportunities. 

And yet he couldn't help but see the past few weeks as having been a series of choices. Similarly to how one might prune a tree in a specific way, or work a vine through a particular trellis, Hux had chosen certain actions. Those actions had put him directly into Ben's line of sight, not once, not twice, but multiple times, and those actions had led to this weekend. And there was no normal. 

There was no return to normal. 

"I'm not military." 

"That's half the base," Ben responded soberly. "But I'm not asking you to do that, unless you choose it. I'm just asking you to come with me. I don't want… Where else would you go? Your mother?" 

Hux could, but he could imagine no life there. Without his gardens or without Ben. There was no return to normal. But life with Ben felt like something he could pursue. He bit back a sigh. 

"I don't know," Hux admitted. "But we should go. You do need to go find yours." 

Process. Hux could deal with the process. And right now there was a simple one - Ben was needed by his mother, by a resistance Hux knew nothing about. And if Hux no longer had an apartment on Hosnian Prime, then he would need to determine where he should go. That was the process. 

"And you?" 

"Ben, I should think it obvious that for now I'm with you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter which hopefully ties up some of the ends in this particular story. I enjoyed this chapter, got to enjoy working at least one of my other favorite ginger characters into this universe. 
> 
> Thank you to EVERYONE who has read, and commented. I 've gotten some of the nicest comments on this story and they've made my heart sing, and have at times turned my day much brighter when one has come in. I hope you've enjoyed this lightside AU as much as I've enjoyed playing with it. It was supposed to be a few thousand words. And I suppose, it's still... a few thousand words... just a lot more few than I originally intended! 
> 
> I have toyed with a sequel, and may yet do one, but it probably will not be in the immediate future. I need to really get back to focusing on my other WIPs and get further done with them before I write here. You are always welcome to follow me on [tumblr](http://jedihafren.tumblr.com/) if you want to flail about Solo kids, Millicent, Hux, Mara Jade, or basically anything _Star Wars_ with me.

Understatement: The evening had not turned out like Hux had anticipated. They both wore anxiety across their shoulders which muted their energy as the ship made its way to wherever it was they were going. Hux didn't know and Ben hadn't told him. 

He supposed there was probably a reason for that. After all, he got the impression that this Resistance might not be entirely officially sanctioned, and if that were the case, then there was some need for secrecy. However, how much secrecy could there really be if the Resistance were anything worth talking about? And if it wasn't anything worth talking about - would they even hope to be able to counter the sort of threat the First Order had presented? 

That question lingered with Ben's arms wrapped around him as they both lay in Ben's slightly larger bunk in Ben's insignificantly larger cabin. At some point Hux had dosed off, and he wondered now as he lay awake, if Ben was asleep. Millicent had wandered in and after seeming to determine she was going to trust the other human in the room, she had lightly bounded up to the bed, and she was curled against Hux's feet with almost as much space as she could put between herself and Ben. It was so typical that Hux almost smiled, even though smiling hadn't been something he'd done much of over the past few hours. 

"She's so content with you," Ben murmured, proving that he had not fallen asleep.

"You overhear my cat's mind too?" Hux shifted in Ben's arms. To have this conversation in this moment seemed wrong, but part of him grasped onto it as a sign of normality in a day that was otherwise anything but. 

"No," Ben seemed to chuckle low, a breath of warm air hitting the back of Hux's neck. "With her I have to try." 

There was so much absurdity to this Hux thought about getting up and saying so, but the warmth of Ben's body pressed against his, even without the promise of sex, was reason enough to stay. A reason punctuated by the press of warm lips to the back of Hux's neck. 

"It's a thing," Ben seemed to sense Hux's reaction (because of course he did). "The ability to communicate with animals, and I've always been some good with it. But I do have to … intentionally try it. Millicent's like any other cat… private." 

"I would have thought I was private too," Hux responded. 

"You are to everyone else," Ben's lips found the back of Hux's neck. "It's just me that gets to read you like this." 

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"I would," Ben didn't hesitate. 

Hux found Ben's fingers and wrapped his through them, smiling despite the lack of verbal response. He didn't find it attractive. He found it annoying. The idea that his thoughts weren't private around Ben because Ben simply had some key to overhear everything was frustrating, but he wasn't moving. They lay together like that for a while longer until Ben stirred, pressing his lips gently to Hux's neck. 

"We're almost there," Ben declared, moving to crawl over Hux, much to Millicent's obvious irritation. "You should get up and get dressed. I'll take us into the base." 

Hux had to assume that he was about to see Leia Organa again and the wave of his first memories of meeting the woman pushed back into his mind. He supposed this weekend would come as no surprise to her, since he was reasonably certain she'd understood - maybe better than Kylo did - the possible intention behind the gift of the lilies. As he recalled she'd been supposed to be off Hosnian Prime sharing the seeds that he and Ben had collected in an apartment that presumably no longer existed. He sighed, and Millicent stared at him. 

"Get used to this bunk, Millicent," he muttered. "I don't know that you'll be seeing another one anytime soon." 

He stood up and reached for his bag. The clothes were the same ones he'd been wearing since he dressed what felt like a lifetime ago - a morning where he'd woken up and the most taxing thing he'd planned to do that day was to haggle with a vendor of supplies to get a good price. Now he found himself who knew where - Ben hadn't told him what planet they were going to - in the middle of a resistance to a fight he hadn't realized existed. His clothing was rumpled, and who knew what the next twelve hours would bring. 

Hux reached in the for fresh clothing, changed his shirt, pulled on a vest, and then glanced in the mirror. That led to him washing his face, and shaving, and then messing with his hair for a moment. He looked about as put together as could be expected under the circumstances. And honestly, he wasn't certain why he cared considering that it was unlikely anyone else would be paying attention. 

But no, that wasn't the truth. He knew why he cared. He was certain Organa had known who he was and here he was showing up at her base. He hadn't had any contact with his father since his mother and he left, but he was cynical enough to wonder if that would matter. Ben was bringing him here, and Hux had no idea if Ben had been up front with his mother about the fact that Hux was on board with him. Looking put together was the only defense he had against all of the expectations or accusations that might be leveled at him. 

They landed on a planet that Hux didn't recognize, but then again, there were very few planets that he'd seen from space. Ben had ran through the landing procedures, and Hux felt some pleasure in realizing that he remembered each from the landing on Corellia. He wasn't a pilot, but maybe he could become one if needed. That sense of believing that he could help in some way buoyed him as the two left the cockpit and disembarked the yacht into what was clearly a military base of some sort. Several uniformed people came forward and moved to secure the ship, while a woman with hair nearly the shade of Hux's own watched them with a neutral expression. 

"Mara, I thought Mom might be here to greet us," Ben stepped forward, and Hux followed him quickly, not really wanting to be left on his own in this environment. 

"She's in a meeting at the moment," the woman's eyes flickered to Hux. "I'm to deliver you to it. This is your friend?" 

"Yeah, this is Armitage Hux, he was the head gardener of the Alderaanian Memorial Gardens on Hosnian Prime. He invited me to Corellia for the weekend with him. Hux, this is Mara Jade." 

Hux extended a hand, fairly certain that he was being judged and almost equally certain he was being found wanting. He straightened his shoulders slightly, and raised his chin. "It's good to meet you," he offered, trying to believe that rather than meeting members of a secret resistance, that he was meeting fellow gardeners at a conference, an equal even.

"You're Brendol Hux's son." 

Hux blinked and his brows furrowed together, the defense rising before he could think better of it. "I haven't seen him since I was four." 

"I know that," Mara responded. "I had Republic Intelligence run a check on you last week. I knew your father a long time ago. If you're ready Ben, your mother wanted you in on this." 

" _You_ had Republic Intelligence run a check on him? Or was it Mom?" 

Hux glanced sideways to confirm that Ben's face didn't look any happier than his voice. 

"Your mother didn't authorize it, I did. It was a simple check, and you're getting over-emotional." 

"It's ridiculous, what reason would you have -" 

"You were travelling around with the son of an Imperial, Ben. The son of a man who very well may have ties to the beginning of the First Order, of course I was going to run a check on him. It seems to have been prudent as you have now brought him to a Resistance Base. Are you coming?" 

A muscle in Hux's cheek twitched as he listened to this exchange, moving between fury at such a bold move, something that felt like an outright infringement on his privacy, and fury at the idea that his father might have had anything to do with the destruction of the gardens he'd worked so hard on, followed by the wondering of whether or not his father was even still alive. And an additional grudging respect that they had been so thorough so early in the process. 

"I protest this," Ben growled, but he fell into step beside the woman. 

"Your protest is noted but I don't know what you expected. You should be grateful I did it as it meant there was much less protest when we cleared you bringing him with you. We can discuss your extreme disappointment in the Resistance later when we are not reeling from the destruction of an entire system and the loss of billions of lives." 

"The system was really destroyed then," Hux found his voice and Mara acknowledged him for the first time since she'd taken his offered hand. 

"It was. Dameron arrived back with his scout ships about an hour ago. That's what the general is meeting about right now. The question now is whether or not they'll strike again with Starkiller Base." 

"Starkiller base?" 

"It's the weapon, planet, that they're using," Mara responded crisply. 

"Planet?" Hux couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice. The Death Star had been a ship - a large ship, but a ship nonetheless. 

When Mara didn't say anything further, Ben reached for Hux's hand. "You know he's here to help," Ben remarked, an edge to his voice. 

"That will be your mother's call," Mara responded nonplussed. "But until he's cleared for details, we're not discussing them here." They had reached a set of doors and Mara stopped. "Your mother wants you, but I'll be taking Hux to the small conference room." 

Ben pulled in a deep breath as if in an attempt to stop himself from saying something he didn't want to say. Instead he turned to Hux. "I'll come find you as soon as this is done, and we'll figure things out from there." 

Ben pulled away and stalked off down the hall leaving Hux alone with the woman who was looking at him with cool green eyes. 

"You did a check, why are you looking at me as if I'm the enemy." 

"Because you have not yet been proven as an ally," Mara Jade replied coolly as she used a keypad to open a door. "This is you." 

The small conference room turned out to not look much like a conference room. Then again, he supposed they weren't trying to impress anyone here. It was a table in the center of a room, surrounded by chairs, with some obvious, if somewhat haphazardly installed, holoviewing equipment. Hux found himself pacing the room after he was left alone there half wondering if he had the choice to leave, or if there was a guard outside his door. He hadn't really asked, and he should have. He needed to pull himself together. The events of the past twenty-four hours had shaken him up and he needed to think clearly about what his next steps.

It seemed, even if it did not seem quite real, that the home he had been building for himself in the gardens was gone. He could only be grateful that Millicent's situation had worked out as it had, or she would have been gone with the vines, trees, and other life he'd devoted the last few years to. His mother was currently on Kuat and he supposed he could contact her. Ask Ben if he could drop him there while he sorted through things. 

Something about the idea did not sit particularly well with him, even though he couldn't imagine being here with the resistance. Ben had asked him to come with him and Hux had agreed, but what would it mean to be here? He had never been on the side of the Rebels. Largely he'd spent most of his teenage years irritated that he had not been able to be raised as the son of an Imperial military man, as he ought to have been. This had been tempered someone by the knowledge that even had the Empire not fallen, he had been an illegitimate child, so he would still have had to work for his place. But the chances… that would have been there regardless. The idea of getting caught up in a rebellion on the other side simply felt unnatural. 

He didn't like the lack of trust that had been leveled at him. It felt unjust, and yet, he supposed there was the question of - if he could contact his father would he do so? What if his father had been involved in some way? Away from the persistent presence of Ben he was finding himself wondering what he was doing here. And assuming even that he did agree with the goals of the resistance, was there anything he could offer them? If he'd been an engineer the answer to that question would have been simple. 

And yet, everything that he had worked towards had been on Hosnian Prime. The woman whom he had spoken with about the lilies - in all likelihood it was her fault that he was here - she was probably dead, unless she had been fortunate enough to be off world, and she had not struck Hux as someone who might travel. He found himself hoping that she had been visiting the gardens. That she might not have realized what was happening. That seemed unlikely and he let out his breath in a rush. 

Even if he had never felt much sympathy for the rebellion, he had never found the use of the Death Star to be one of the Empire's finer moments. And right now, with the loss of everything that he had counted on - everything that had felt like home - he found himself angry at the existence of the First Order and their disruption to his life. Had his father had any part in that? It was a thought that Hux didn't really want to think on much, but the idea was not unreasonable. 

So what of this Resistance? 

His thoughts were interrupted by the door sliding open and he turned to find not Ben, whom he was expecting, but Leia Organa. 

Hux straightened his shoulders and didn't move, letting her step into the room and stand at the opposite end of the table. 

"Where's Ben?" He finally asked when she didn't speak. 

"He'll be in shortly," Leia responded. 

"Is this your time to interrogate me then?" His words were crisp and direct. While he didn't care to offend her, he also didn't wish to stand on ceremony. With Ben not there he felt no particular need to pretend. 

Leia didn't flinch, but she did step forward and motion for him to take a seat. After a moment's hesitance, Hux did precisely that and wondered if she would follow. He didn't have to wonder long for she stepped up and took a seat next to him, laying a datapad in front of her on the table. 

"Why are you here?" 

"You're not going to ask about my father?" 

Leia tilted her head. "Do you want to talk about your father?" 

"There's nothing to talk about. I don't know him," Hux responded, frustrated at himself. He should just let her ask the questions and answer them and not give her any reason to ask anything else. He had just spent this entire time regathering his thoughts so why was he speaking of him now? "I'm here because apparently the apartment I would normally return to has been blasted into smithereens. Because your son asked me to come with him, and because I had no place else to go in the moment." 

He wondered what she was making of that response. It was true though, even if it was at its base overly simplistic. 

"Did you have a good weekend with him?" 

The personal nature of this question took Hux further off guard and he could feel heat in his cheeks even as he lifted his chin, determined to not give her the satisfaction of seeing how uncomfortable he felt. "Until it was interrupted by people who destroyed everything I've worked to create, yes." His gaze flickered upwards to her. "Ben said you were planning on delivering seeds this weekend - did you… were you able to?" 

Something in Leia's posture shifted slightly. "Some. I still have some of them on my spacecraft." 

"Good," Hux offered. "At least they won't die out completely." 

"No, they won't. Thanks to you." 

There was a pause, somewhere in the base an alarm sounded but Leia didn't move as the sound came into the conference room faint and elsewhere. 

"It's been a long day for you, I'm certain. And Ben brought you here, but this may not be where you want to be. This is a war, Hux. I do not have a choice of being here, and Ben, in his own way, is equally bound. If I may be frank, Ben may want you here, but you have to decide whether you are fighting or whether you will find a different place to resettle and take some of these seeds to start again." 

Hux didn't say anything immediately, trying to figure out if she wanted him to stay or if she was hoping that he would go. And what he even wanted. After all, wanting to stay with Ben didn't mean that he was a fighter. He had told Ben he wasn't military and Ben had said 'that's half the resistance'. He looked up at Organa's lined face. 

"If I stayed," he asked. "I'm a gardener, what could I even do?" 

"Ben says you're very good at organization and detail. That you've a knack for public speaking and persuasion and that you've an interest in engineering that you were never able to pursue. We are in need of military personnel and pilots, it's true," she tilted her head at him. "But there is an entire galaxy out there that will need to know what's happened and we will need someone to tell that story, to convince them not only of what has been lost, but that we must not give in to it. We need people who can think strategically."

Hux couldn't deny the accuracy of any of those things. Did Ben really know him so well when they had spent so little time together? To hear those things coming from Organa's mouth, who knew him not at all, and to know they had been put there by Ben, who apparently not only listened, but seemed to see all of these things that Hux could offer. He nodded. 

"I suppose I can't deny my ability to do any of those things," he felt stiff in his response. 

For the first time since she arrived, Leia opened up the datapad and glanced at it. "You've supported Centrist groups politically in the past." 

"Your Intelligence report," his lips pressed together knowing that it was where she had gotten the information likely. He was registered, had donated - if something had been requested it wasn't a secret where he stood politically. Hux looked down at the datapad even though he couldn't read what she had up on it. Whether it was on there or not, he realized there was no point in denying it. What was he trying to prove to her? He would never believe that the galaxy should suffer the possibility of chaos that might come without any form of stronger government. 

"That's true," he lifted his eyes and looked unblinking at her. "Some strength at the center of galactic government would benefit many. But a strong core isn't destruction. A strong core is the foundation on which everything is built. To put it in gardening terms, without a strong trunk a tree would splinter and fall in the wind. The trunk allows for the branches to reach out in whatever direction they choose to grow, but without the trunk there can be no branches. There is a difference between favoring centrist policies and wishing a return to the Empire," he stated flatly. 

For the first time since she came in, Leia smiled. "You're not the first person who has told me that," she offered in explanation. But just as quickly as it had arrived, the smile faded, and there was a sadness behind her eyes. "But there is a difference in wishing safety in the galaxy, and desiring to fight for it. That's a decision that you will need to make on your own, without Ben's influence." 

Hux was pretty certain that it was too late for any decision in his life to be made without any influence from Ben, but he kept that thought to himself. 

Leia provided him an ID card when he left, and he attached it to his vest. He had spent the rest of the day wandering where the card would allow for him to go. 

Ben found him three hours later, near what was obviously the end of the solar cycle on the planet they were on. He was standing at the edge of a hangar, staring at the purple and blues that were spreading across the sky as the system's sun set. 

"Here you are," Ben stepped up beside him. 

"You haven't known?" Hux continued staring at the colors. 

"Well, it's not like I've got a tracker on you, no," Ben responded with affection. "I mean, I knew you hadn't taken off." There was a near two moments of silence before he added: "I guess Mom talked to you." 

"She did," Hux answered. 

"Did she tell you that you should go?" 

Hux could feel Ben's gaze on him, and the suspicion laced through the question. But it hadn't been what Leia had told him at all. She had said that the decision should be his. 

"No," he responded honestly. 

He'd been standing here watching the sunset, aware of the military moving around him. Aware that he'd been given access to something because of the man he'd invited into his life and uncertain if he wanted to keep that access or if he just wanted to keep Ben. Yet, he could feel the difference as Ben walked up beside him. Like this was where he was meant to be in this moment. It was something completely new and Hux wondered if he could trust the feeling or if it was just some sort of post-traumatic stress from the outcome of the destruction of everything else he had known. 

"She said I should make my decision without influence from you, if you must know." He turned around to face Ben. 

If he'd expected to surprise Ben, it didn't seem that he had. In fact it seemed even that Ben might have been expecting something like that. 

Hux shook his head. "I've been standing here trying to figure out what that decision would be if you weren't involved." 

Ben raised an eyebrow, and to his credit didn't reach out to take Hux's hand, or to attempt any sort of persuasion. That did surprise Hux somewhat. Then again, maybe Ben didn't entirely disagree with his mom. 

It left Hux trying to articulate things he wasn't certain that he could really put words to. They were feelings and impressions, and he wasn't certain that he should trust them. He kept trying to erase his mind to before everything had happened, to what he had been thinking - that he would continue spending time with Ben until he no longer wished to. Ben had felt like home even then, comfortable, like someone that Hux could spend time with. That sense hadn't changed, except that he had become the only thing that Hux had left that felt like home Hux wasn't a resistance fighter. He wasn't military. The idea of either one of those things left him uncertain of whether or not he could find a place to belong or be of use here. They didn't need him to prune lilies or tell them the pollination patterns of rare Alderaanian fruit trees. 

"You gave an entire speech that was essentially a statement against the sort of power that is represented in Starkiller Base," Ben did speak now. "They have another Death Star, and they won't stop necessarily with the Hosnian system. The Resistance will try to stop them, but we could use you here too." 

"How?" Hux looked up seriously. "I'm not just your emotional support Ben." 

"And if you were? What's wrong with that?" Ben countered. "But no. I know that, and I think you could offer more. Put action behind your words and make certain we don't lose any other part of the galaxy." 

"This wasn't what I was thinking of when I gave that keynote," Hux muttered, but his gaze turned back out. The blues had turned into a deep indigo that would quickly fade into the night sky. "What about you?" He looked up at Ben. "Don't they have anything planned?" 

Ben nodded, his eyes flickering across Hux's figure. "I'm going out with them. We've got a chance to bring it down if we can disable their shields." 

"You and who else?" Hux couldn't say he loved the idea of what was being implied here. "What does that mean, disable the shields?"

Ben hesitated. "My Father, a former stormtrooper he picked up, myself. We'll use the knowledge the stormtrooper has to go into the base and hopefully figure out a way to let our fighters in to destroy it." 

"When do you leave?" 

Ben reached for his hand. "A couple hours. Soon as they can figure out the rest of things. I came to let you know that I was going."

"And so am I." Hux's words nearly caught in his throat. 

"You are?" 

Hux looked over, the surprise on Ben's face a bit of a surprise to him. "You didn't know that?" He queried, a smile coming across his face despite himself. "What happened to being able to read everything?" 

"You're complicated right now," Ben shook his head. "I wasn't expecting that though." 

"I'm not letting you go by yourself," Hux squared his shoulders. "I don't know that I can do anything, but you're right that I gave a keynote, and it advocated a certain position. If I have a chance to do something, even if it's not plants, directly. I ought to."

"I don't disagree with that," Ben's fingers were warm around Hux's. "But I didn't think you would. I could take you to your mother's - after this. If you'd prefer. You... " He hesitated, his tongue darting out to moisten those lips. "You shouldn't make a decision because of me." 

"You and your mother are both idiots," Hux chuckled now. 

Ben opened his mouth to counter this, and Hux pressed his lips to Ben's, effectively stopping whatever it was Ben had to say. He brought an arm up to slide his fingers against Ben's neck. It was warm and Hux allowed himself the luxury of lingering in that kiss. When he pulled back, he kept his gaze on Ben's warm brown eyes. 

"It's too late for me to not make any decision without considering you. I'm a gardener, not a resistance fighter, but in another life I might have been an Imperial general. And this sort of destruction of life is against everything I've supported in the past. I belong here right now. Not with my mother trying to figure out what comes next, but with you putting action behind my words." 

It was Ben who came forward to meet him now. "Let's get you some gear," he said as he pulled back. "You've shot a blaster before, I hope." 

"Believe it or not, I'm a good shot," Hux chuckled, the weight of needing to make a decision lifting even if an uncertainty about whether or not it was the right one lingered. "I'd taken up range practice over the past year."

"First Order targets won't sit still," Ben warned as he wrapped an arm warm around Hux. 

"I didn't suspect that they would," Hux responded dryly. "But neither did the droids I worked with." 

"You aren't allowed to get yourself hurt if you come with me," Ben tugged him back towards the main base. 

"I have no intention of it," Hux quipped as if his heart wasn't pounding at the notion of what Ben was talking about. "But neither do I have any intention of letting you do this alone. You still owe me an amazing fuck, and I don't think we're going to get to it before you go." 

Ben's grin was quick, lopsided across his face. "I keep my promises." 

"Then I'll keep mine," Hux returned despite the beating of his heart that told him this was mad. 

"Good, cause mom said she's still got a package of those lily seeds. I'll need someone to tell me how to plant and tend to them when we get back." 

"I can do that," Hux offered quietly glancing up at Ben. "They're worth the tending." 

"Yeah, I know," Ben was looking down at him as they walked. "And I'd like to know how." 

Hux was no longer certain whether they were talking about lilies or something less tangible with the man next to him. But he knew this - he was good at making things grow.


End file.
